Feeds

Man cuffed for lamppost sex outrage

Is no inanimate object safe?

The Power of One eBook: Top reasons to choose HP BladeSystem

The suspicion that sexual assaults against inanimate objects, including bicycles and hoovers, are on the rise is confirmed by the disturbing news that a man was last month cuffed for "allegedly simulating a sex act with a lamppost", as the Wiltshire Times puts it.

The incident apparently took place at about 4.45pm on 16 February, when police received reports of a man "being indecent" in the Queens Road area of Westbury.

The suspect was arrested on 27 February "on suspicion of outraging public decency" and later bailed pending an "extensive police investigation".

During their probe, officers gathered evidence and statements, "some of which were from children", and the unnamed man yesterday answered bail for further quizzing. He was again released "pending further inquiries". ®

Bootnote

The Polish building contractor recently caught in flagrante delicto with a Henry Hoover is reportedly no longer welcome is his native land. The local press has, according to the Sun, expressed its outrage at the incident, with one news website advising vacuum-sex compatriots to "stay and carry on hoovering".

Catholic Poles, meanwhile, claim the chap demonstrates "how their people reject family values when they come here - and often return with sexually transmitted diseases". Quite how you catch the clap from a hoover, we know not.

Reducing security risks from open source software

More from The Register

next story
Motorist 'thought car had caught fire' as Adele track came on stereo
'FIRE' caption on dashboard prompts dunderheaded hard shoulder halt
Carlos: Slim your working week to just three days of toil
'Midas World' vision suggests you retire later, watch more tellie and buy more stuff
Brit Rockall adventurer poised to quit islet
Occupation records broken, champagne corks popped
Accused! Yahoo! exec! SUES! her! accuser!, says! sex! harassment! never! happened!
Allegations were for 'financial gain', countersuit claims
Yahoo! Japan! launches! service! for! the! dead!
If you're reading this email, I am no longer alive
Plucky Rockall podule man back on (proper) dry land
Bold, barmy Brit adventurer Nick Hancock escapes North Atlantic islet
NSA man: 'Tell me about your Turkish connections'
Spooks ask Dabbsy to suggest a nice hotel with pool
Japanese artist cuffed for disseminating 3D ladyparts files
Printable genitalia fall foul of 'obscene material' laws
prev story

Whitepapers

Designing a Defense for Mobile Applications
Learn about the various considerations for defending mobile applications - from the application architecture itself to the myriad testing technologies.
How modern custom applications can spur business growth
Learn how to create, deploy and manage custom applications without consuming or expanding the need for scarce, expensive IT resources.
Reducing security risks from open source software
Follow a few strategies and your organization can gain the full benefits of open source and the cloud without compromising the security of your applications.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.
Consolidation: the foundation for IT and business transformation
In this whitepaper learn how effective consolidation of IT and business resources can enable multiple, meaningful business benefits.