Feeds

Swedes demand return of heraldic lion's todger

Nordic Battlegroup emasculated

SANS - Survey on application security programs

Disgruntled Swedish heraldists are demanding the Nordic Battlegroup reconsider a decision to emasculate their crest's lion which has seen the rampant beast relieved of his todger.

For those of you not up to speed on the shock case of the leonine penis outrage, the unit's commander - Karl Engelbrektsson - last December ordered the chop "having read UN Security Council Resolution 1325 on women, peace and security", according to The Local.

In a decidedly non-military act of political correctness, Engelbrektsson decided he "did not consider the male appendage an appropriate symbol for his troops to wear into battle" since female civilians were often at the receiving end of sexual abuse in the world's war zones.

The Nordic Battlegroup crest - before and afterAccordingly, the offending member (see pre and post-op pic), was given its marching orders.

This has not gone down at all well with staff at the National Archives. State heraldist Henrik Klackenberg said: "They stepped over the line when they made alterations to the badge without consulting us. It was a clear breach of copyright."

Heraldic artist Vladimir A Sagerlund further pointed out that "coats of arms containing lions without genitalia were given to those who betrayed the Swedish Crown", and suggested a compromise. He said: "We could make the dimensions a bit smaller, for example. Once we were commissioned to create a similar symbol for Swedish Customs. When they thought it was a bit much they sent it back to us and we just shrank the organ."

While Klackenberg conceded the National Archive would probably not seek legal redress over the absent John Thomas, he said he would appreciate an apology. ®

Bootnote

The Nordic Battlegroup is around 2,400 strong, with roughly 2,000 of its members coming from Sweden. The rest are a mixed bag of Estonians, Finns, Irish* and Norwegians, The Local notes.

Bootnote 2

*The Local really did say "Ireland", which may in fact be Iceland, we suspect.

3 Big data security analytics techniques

More from The Register

next story
Spanish village called 'Kill the Jews' mulls rebranding exercise
Not exactly attractive to the Israeli tourist demographic
Sleuths find nosy NORKS drones on the Chinternet
UAVs likely to have been made in the Middle Kingdom
Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL
Bank: 'We are now safely patched.' Customers: 'You were using OpenSSL?'
Och aye! It's the Loch Ness Monster – but only Apple fanbois can see it
Fondleslab-friendly beastie's wake spotted... OR WAS IT?
Dorian Nakamoto gets $23,000 payout over Bitcoin invention saga
Maintains he didn't create cryptocurrency, but will join community
Japanese boffin EYES up big bucks with strap-on digi-glasses
AgencyGlass saddles user with creepy OLED display
Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN
Reg reader snaps shot of touching tribute to Apple icon
Happy 40th Playmobil: Reg looks back at small, rude world of our favourite tiny toys
Little men straddle LOHAN, attend tiny G20 Summit... ah, sweet memories...
prev story

Whitepapers

Securing web applications made simple and scalable
In this whitepaper learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.
Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
SANS - Survey on application security programs
In this whitepaper learn about the state of application security programs and practices of 488 surveyed respondents, and discover how mature and effective these programs are.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.