Feeds

Swedes demand return of heraldic lion's todger

Nordic Battlegroup emasculated

Next gen security for virtualised datacentres

Disgruntled Swedish heraldists are demanding the Nordic Battlegroup reconsider a decision to emasculate their crest's lion which has seen the rampant beast relieved of his todger.

For those of you not up to speed on the shock case of the leonine penis outrage, the unit's commander - Karl Engelbrektsson - last December ordered the chop "having read UN Security Council Resolution 1325 on women, peace and security", according to The Local.

In a decidedly non-military act of political correctness, Engelbrektsson decided he "did not consider the male appendage an appropriate symbol for his troops to wear into battle" since female civilians were often at the receiving end of sexual abuse in the world's war zones.

The Nordic Battlegroup crest - before and afterAccordingly, the offending member (see pre and post-op pic), was given its marching orders.

This has not gone down at all well with staff at the National Archives. State heraldist Henrik Klackenberg said: "They stepped over the line when they made alterations to the badge without consulting us. It was a clear breach of copyright."

Heraldic artist Vladimir A Sagerlund further pointed out that "coats of arms containing lions without genitalia were given to those who betrayed the Swedish Crown", and suggested a compromise. He said: "We could make the dimensions a bit smaller, for example. Once we were commissioned to create a similar symbol for Swedish Customs. When they thought it was a bit much they sent it back to us and we just shrank the organ."

While Klackenberg conceded the National Archive would probably not seek legal redress over the absent John Thomas, he said he would appreciate an apology. ®

Bootnote

The Nordic Battlegroup is around 2,400 strong, with roughly 2,000 of its members coming from Sweden. The rest are a mixed bag of Estonians, Finns, Irish* and Norwegians, The Local notes.

Bootnote 2

*The Local really did say "Ireland", which may in fact be Iceland, we suspect.

The essential guide to IT transformation

More from The Register

next story
MEN WANTED to satisfy town full of yearning BRAZILIAN HOTNESS
'Prettier, better organised, more harmonious than if men were in charge'
Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD
'Officers were unable to determine Chicken's intent'
Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?
Local UK gov outs most ridiculous FoI requests...
Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!
Put it away boys. Cover them up ladies. Your credit cards, we mean
Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people
They're a future source of RENEWABLE ENERGY
Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'
US court hears of cached browser image - not actual request
Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty
Sales of traditional brekkie foods soar as hungry folk get their mitts greasy
prev story

Whitepapers

5 things you didn’t know about cloud backup
IT departments are embracing cloud backup, but there’s a lot you need to know before choosing a service provider. Learn all the critical things you need to know.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Backing up Big Data
Solving backup challenges and “protect everything from everywhere,” as we move into the era of big data management and the adoption of BYOD.
Consolidation: The Foundation for IT Business Transformation
In this whitepaper learn how effective consolidation of IT and business resources can enable multiple, meaningful business benefits.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?