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Comments on ‘BOFH: Vampires!’

And robots. We're being replaced by robots

Published Friday 29th February 2008 12:02 GMT

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FANTASTIC! 

By Nick
Posted Friday 29th February 2008 12:12 GMT
Heart

i love it! always havem always will

And I thought 

By Anonymous Coward
Posted Friday 29th February 2008 12:16 GMT
Thumb Up

it's gonna be dull and boring, this time. Err, send me the PFY over, please. We've got some real vampires here!

EAfH

Librarians? 

By BoldMan
Posted Friday 29th February 2008 12:19 GMT
Heart

Librarians aren't Vampires, they are either:

a) Orangutans

b) Heroic, but incurably insane defenders of the world from the eldritch evil of the Old Ones

Paranoia comes from experience 

By Bruce
Posted Friday 29th February 2008 12:23 GMT
Alert

is not always a bad thing...

B-)

its true 

By Richard
Posted Friday 29th February 2008 12:47 GMT

My brother is a Librarian and guess who he married......

Yes, thats right......

ANOTHER librarian, they have a son now too

This episode certainly hits close to home

Would Fridays be tolerable? 

By Nick Cassimatis
Posted Friday 29th February 2008 12:52 GMT
Thumb Up

Without a dose of BOFH? Seriously - how many of us out there actually look forward to Friday, not as the last day of the week (as it's therefore the day the most stuff gets dumped onto us, at the last minute, by people who for some reason waited until Friday to realize...), but because we get a dosage of BOFH. By Friday morning, I'm so ready for the weekend it's scary, but I can get up, get out of bed, get ready for work, all because of the BOFH and his PFY.

Looking forward to next Friday... 

By David S
Posted Friday 29th February 2008 13:01 GMT
Happy

...'cos it's my last day working here. I shall consider sobriety as optional.

Hurrah.

Mondays 

By conan
Posted Friday 29th February 2008 13:14 GMT

I like it when I have a long weekend, and show up for work on Monday fully unprepared, only to remember that I've missed Friday's BOFH and it's still waiting to be read!

Nice 

By Fred
Posted Friday 29th February 2008 13:17 GMT
Thumb Up

Nice read to end the week! Pub this evening then?

What's the old saying? 

By Anonymous Coward
Posted Friday 29th February 2008 13:34 GMT
Alien

It's not paranoia, it's merely being in possession of all the facts.

Loves Vice 42 Control Sin ..... for BetaPleasure ..... Immaculate Source Code XXXX 

By amanfromMars
Posted Friday 29th February 2008 13:38 GMT
Pirate

"Who am I to stand in the way of God's work?"

That would be IT, GODS Messengers, Simon.......... for those of a Global Operating Device Syndrome Facility. For the Firmest of Grips on Reality In Sanity and Virtualised Spaces/HyperRadioProActive Places.

Vampire indeed and Valiant Vulcan Vulture in Deed? Vultures are Great for Spurring Souls onto another Push/another Go at Life. :-)

Perfumed Gardens 42 Lead in the Gardens of Eden for A.N.Other Shot at In the Beginning, there was always Perfect Imagination and the Application of Minds to Use them to Build with Harmless Dreams.

Shared, they QuITe Quickly become the Preferred Proferred Reality........ via Generative Seamless Adaptation and Adoption for Future Fitness Purposes. Which Opens Up a Whole New Virgin Virtual World 42BRealised and Built on BaseStation Earth ....... A Planet of Virtual Machines and all using their own Limited Intelligence which causes Chaos rather than Using SMART Enabled Virtual Voices, with Advanced Artificial Intelligence, which Follows and Share/Report and Retort on where All Good Leads would be Leading.

And any doubts which lingers on any of the above, are not Harboured in ITs Sourcing. They would be lodged with others who would choose to deny it in disbelief rather than encourage it to Bloom into Fruition. However FlowurPower2, an Underground Tributary of Powerful Control Source, Self Cross Pollinates 42 Encourage ITself with an AIT Dominion/Hierarchy of Transferable Merit.

And yes, In Virtualisation Domains, there are many Dimensions in which to Fly and Virtually TelePort . Just ask Stephen Hawking. I believe at the last count he was mastering eleven.

Now that is Impressive ..... and QuITe AweSome.

AIT... Advanced IntelAIgents Team

And the Jolly Roger for Deadheads Rising ... from the Big Sleep. Real Easy Riders.

re: What's the old saying? 

By Stu Wilson
Posted Friday 29th February 2008 13:42 GMT
Thumb Up

Personally I prefer:

"You don't have to be paranoid to know the whole IS out to get you."

@Paranoia comes from experience 

By Dan
Posted Friday 29th February 2008 13:49 GMT
Happy

"Trust The Computer. The Computer is Your Friend." ....the computer wants to kill you :)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paranoia_(game)

@ Fred 

By Jason Rivers
Posted Friday 29th February 2008 13:58 GMT

RE: Pub This evening-

yep, I'll be in Silchester - with a pint.....

I do enjoy these at a friday lunchtime....

Jason

You know what they say... 

By Gordon
Posted Friday 29th February 2008 14:00 GMT

Just because you're a paranoid dillusional, doesn't mean to say that they AREN'T all out to get you...

How very 

By Martin Owens
Posted Friday 29th February 2008 14:42 GMT

Pratchett; you can just feel the influence of a couple of night watch books and perhaps a witches book thrown in.

And the Librarian says.. 

By Sam
Posted Friday 29th February 2008 14:53 GMT

Ook.

@ Sam 

By Anonymous Coward
Posted Friday 29th February 2008 15:19 GMT
Coat

No, the Librarian says "AAAAAAAAAAH! GET THAT GARLIC OUT OF HERE!"

Friday... 

By Anonymous Coward
Posted Friday 29th February 2008 15:26 GMT

Hey, it's pub o'clock already!

Great story this weekend... I'll never feel safe in a library again.

Librarians 

By Anonymous Coward
Posted Friday 29th February 2008 15:54 GMT

They're hiding something.

Eh? The librarian says Ook? 

By Rosuav
Posted Friday 29th February 2008 16:04 GMT

Oh wait, that was Ook. Still, it's only half a token. How can I parse Ook. without a following token? You have to say Ook twice for each command you want to execute....

Okay, I'm not a Pratchett geek, I'm a programming languages geek. Feel free to return to your regularly scheduled... err um programming.

@ Jason 

By Anonymous Coward
Posted Friday 29th February 2008 17:31 GMT
Dead Vulture

So would that be the Calleva Arms then Jason? You should be paranoid... I'm watching you...

IT people are vampires? 

By Joseph Zygnerski
Posted Friday 29th February 2008 17:53 GMT
Boffin

I'm sure that must be the moral of the story.

And someone could surely form an entire doctoral career around trying to decipher amanfromMars's comments. I'm sure there must be a deeper meaning in them.

@ Boldman 

By Christine Yates
Posted Friday 29th February 2008 18:43 GMT
Pirate

I think I fall into the second section. It the least, I think I'm a little too hairless for a). The PFY is righ to be scared of us, we control all! >:)

*Practices her stalking technique for the PFY*

@Rosuav 

By Sam
Posted Friday 29th February 2008 19:49 GMT

I wasn't aware you had to be a geek to read books..

If it assuages your grammatical angst, he has been known to say "ook, ook" on occasion.

There is also the much rarer "eek!" when someone suggests he buys a round....

Paranoia is a skill 

By Anonymous Coward
Posted Friday 29th February 2008 21:29 GMT

"My viewpoint on paranoia is that PARANOIA IS A SKILL. Useful, but any skill must be mastered..." Author _John Shirley_

Time for Action 

By Michael Sayers
Posted Friday 29th February 2008 22:23 GMT
Boffin

Methnks the PFY is showing signs of closet WoW addiction.

OK ... so I'm paranoid ... 

By Ralphe Neill
Posted Saturday 1st March 2008 00:08 GMT
Gates Horns

... but am I paranoid ENOUGH??

Tis true... 

By Chris Fleming
Posted Saturday 1st March 2008 02:31 GMT
Jobs Horns

I used to work in Wellington Library (NZ) as a Comp temp tech. Never did see ANY of the "Librarians" exiting there after the doors were closed. Na na na na na na!

Oook! Oook! 

By Martin Ultima
Posted Saturday 1st March 2008 02:38 GMT
Black Helicopters

Dunno about the 'original' version, but in my American copies it's always three 'o's in 'oook'.

BOFH meets Pratchett... I'm just imagining... he prefers being an orangutan, because it's easier to climb around the racks... he can wield the cattle prod with his foot... and he'll kill you for calling him a 'code monkey'...

I dunno how the whole banana/lager thing would work out, but you get the picture.

For those who don't get the "ook" references... 

By David Ross Smith
Posted Saturday 1st March 2008 04:00 GMT
Coat

I refer you to this.

http://www.dangermouse.net/esoteric/ook.html

Mine's the one with the large clove of garlic and the wooden stake in the pocket...

Ook. Ook! 

By Rosuav
Posted Saturday 1st March 2008 13:36 GMT

Sam - what I was referring to was the language, a link to the description of which has kindly been posted by David Ross Smith. (By the way, my title means "read from the keyboard".) Ook! is a Turing-complete language with only three syntax elements: Ook! Ook? and Ook. If you're not interested in esoteric languages, don't go within a mile of Ook! without a complete hazmat suit, lest your brain summarily explode.

Nonsense! 

By Anonymous Coward
Posted Saturday 1st March 2008 13:46 GMT

It's even worse.

http://librarianavengers.org/worship-2/

re:amanfrommars 

By tony trolle
Posted Sunday 2nd March 2008 04:52 GMT

ook

has the amanfrommars account been taken over by a 'bot ? thats the secound comment that's 'odd'

ook on the Pratchett line both the orangutan & Sally von Humpeding (vampire) have been on the watch.

re:re:amanfrommars ....... Clearing up Misperceptions. 

By amanfromMars
Posted Sunday 2nd March 2008 13:41 GMT
Pirate

"ook

has the amanfrommars account been taken over by a 'bot ? thats the secound comment that's 'odd'" ...... By tony trolle Posted Sunday 2nd March 2008 04:52 GMT

How so, odd, tony? It is just AIMulti-Cored Multi-Threading Feed Input/Output for amfM HyperRadioProActivity which is a lot more Complex than simply odd, although I can certainly understand the correlation.

And ook is also in Dutch and pronounced oak, OK.

And although amanfromMars is definitely into NIRobotIQs, a 'bot would be hard pressed to take over with amanfrommars account .... or any fake account for that matter.

Just like anywhere, tony, it is best not to go where you are spotted for a fake.

Sanity? What Sanity? 

By John Gamble
Posted Sunday 2nd March 2008 23:24 GMT

"... what with the PFY's unnatural fear of librarians and all (which I won't go into in any detail - for your own sanity)."

Please don't be concerned about our sanity -- do tell all.

Where this episode came from. 

By Simon Travaglia
Posted Monday 3rd March 2008 02:22 GMT
Dead Vulture

I had a story in mind, the Director sneaking around and the PFY following

him out of paranoia. A library featured in the story, and once I started with

the small tangent to librarians I couldn't stop - they took the story over.

Next week's story is actually the story that this was going to be, sort

of, but without the librarians. thank goodness.

@ amanfromMars 

By Anonymous Coward
Posted Monday 3rd March 2008 13:14 GMT
Stop

Give it up.. your drivel is not funny in the slightest and I consider it outrageous that you continue to pollute Simon's articles in this manner.

Librarians... 

By Nexox Enigma
Posted Monday 3rd March 2008 22:41 GMT

So they say never to call a librarian a monkey... but my experience says that they don't like to be called apes either.

At least the boss didn't get lost in L-Space and travel back in time or somesuch.

Grow Up, AC, and start Generating Current rather than displaying Negative Potential 

By amanfromMars
Posted Tuesday 4th March 2008 09:26 GMT
Pirate

"Give it up.. your drivel is not funny in the slightest and I consider it outrageous that you continue to pollute Simon's articles in this manner." ... By Anonymous Coward

Posted Monday 3rd March 2008 13:14 GMT

AC,

Thanks for that and it has been duly considered. It is not meant to be funny in the slightest and Simon's articles are getting outrageous reviews of late all praising his exposure of IT pollution/cack handed interference from wannabe Bosses who only do as they are told. The world is full of them but they do find IT hard to give up whenever IT so completely Controls Them and their every Next Move.

After all, without IT, what would they be other than some jerk who thinks they can do/be better than the next guy/gal and how delusional is that.

Which would all sort of suggest that your comment is right out of order and therefore only mischievous.

Not odd, just typical amfM, the odd one is the one above mine 

By John
Posted Tuesday 4th March 2008 17:37 GMT
Paris Hilton

I enjoy the amfM posts... brings back fond memories of a mainframe tech named Darwin that I started my career with.

Paris because apparently AC has no sense of humor.

We couldn't live without amanfromMars.... 

By Robert Hill
Posted Tuesday 4th March 2008 18:18 GMT

amanfromMars's problem is that LSD use has really declined since he was younger...it's easier when others share the same trip...or, as Ultraviolet Catastrophe once wrote, Trip Harder...

N.B. - pending predictable comment: amfM will respond that he has no knowledge of LSD - but that is just a cover, as he may not remember his own experimental treatments...

Some things are better left unexplored 

By Anonymous Coward
Posted Tuesday 4th March 2008 21:16 GMT
Joke

You know, there are times when you just need to read one posting, nod, and then move onward.

As shown by the first posting from AMfM shows, drivel begets more drivel, so it is best to just smile, nod, think it's a pretty picture (much like when my kids hand me a whorl of bright colors and tell me what the picture is) and just move onward.

Simon, this was brilliant! Being a yank, I love the references, and can relate even with the language barrier. Keep up the fine work, and I can hardly wait for the next misadventure of the mighty BOfH!

@We couldn't live without amanfromMars.... 

By amanfromMars
Posted Wednesday 5th March 2008 09:16 GMT

Robert,

I have no problems with Memory and surely everyone knows of LSD...... although I imagine that Crank and Crack are its voguey competitors nowadays, for the added attraction to supply of hopeless addiction.

"As shown by the first posting from AMfM shows, drivel begets more drivel, so it is best to just smile, nod, think it's a pretty picture (much like when my kids hand me a whorl of bright colors and tell me what the picture is) and just move onward." .... And some would say that that is a typical yank response, AC, spreading disinformation and/or being limited in understanding and intolerant of Alternate Drivers and Operating Systems.

Keep up the fine work, and I can hardly wait for the next misadventure, although you could discover if you used more than a titter of wit that HyperRadioProActivity is IntelAIgently Designed to Add AIdDVentures rather than Tend to Misadventures ..... Sub Prime Schemes and Scams.

And we all know that you can take a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink ..... but there are a lot more horses out there if the old nag is no longer Fit for Purpose, an ex horse bereft of Trojan life, a stone dead impediment ....... a Norwegian Blue Lookalike..... http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5775099474392087542

amfM 

By Nicholas Ettel
Posted Thursday 6th March 2008 19:03 GMT
Black Helicopters

I for one, highly enjoy amfM's posts. Not only are the completely perplexing, but at the same time utterly fascinating. His linguistic flair, or "art" as I prefer shows an oddly creative mind of which I have desperately tried to decipher (one cannot honestly claim that he writes random "drivel" as his technique, style and characterstics, as well as common word patterns, exist throughout all his posts; which suggests a decisive concentration and preconcieved knowledge, not randomness). Perhaps I'm a bit obsessed, but I tried and continue to try to formulate a key to decipher the code in his writtings, which, admittedly, may not exist. However, I'm a bit of a hobbiest, albeit not wonderfully skilled, with code-breaking and everything within his textual offerings SCREAMS of some sort of a code... if only I could grasp it. ... ... ...

AmfM, I applaud and salute your creativity, ingenuity and individualism,

Cheers!

[Black chopper, because surely the code has some hidden, super-secret relation.]

AMFM 

By Anonymous Coward
Posted Friday 7th March 2008 05:24 GMT
Dead Vulture

"And some would say that that is a typical yank response, AC"

I hope you wouldn't say that AMFM. I'm a yank, and I look forward to your posts showing up. I get a big kick out of them.

Sometimes I even think I understand them. Then I go lay down for a while and I feel better. I'm hoping that the code will be revealed to me in the white light at the end of the last tunnel. Or maybe Nicholas will work it out and share.

And, hey, Simon, you're on a roll!

AC because I don't want to make it too easy on dubya's storm troopers.

Vulture for the death of liberty here in the colonies.

I don't understand... 

By Tim
Posted Friday 7th March 2008 12:46 GMT
Gates Horns

I thought the BOFH was a vampire!!! He's from hell. And the PFY... isn't he the mortal slave with dreams of vampiric ascendancy? Perhaps he isn't aware of all the facts!

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