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Gov boffins to carry out simulated London dirty bombing

Will carry official toxic-attack-expert IDs

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The UK Home Office has warned passersby in London's Marylebone district not to panic if they should notice individuals releasing colourless, odourless gases into the crowded urban streets. Rather than evil terrorist mad-scientists carrying out a deadly nerve gas attack, these are responsible government-funded scientists carrying out a simulated gas or dirty-bomb attack.

Tony McNulty, minister for plods and spooks, assures us that there is nothing to worry about.

A top government toxin-cloud brainbox at work

A government toxic-outrage scientist at work.

It's evidently a stressful job.

"These tracer gas trials are planned in the Westminster area of London in the next couple of weeks. There is no danger... the tracer gases are non-toxic and odourless," he said in a statement.

"We have some of the best emergency planning systems* in the world. These trials support the development of the UK’s capability to model the release of hazardous material in urban environments."

The trials are being carried out by a joint academic project called Dispersion of Air Pollution and Penetration into the Local Environment (DAPPLE), now retasked with Home Office cash for simulation of "a chemical, biological, radiological or nuclear release". This new set of experiments is thus called DAPPLE-HO.

The government gas-cloud boffins will be wearing hi-vis jackets and will be "carrying ID showing that they from the DAPPLE project". So if you see anyone carrying out what looks like a suicide nerve-toxin strike in Marylebone, be sure to check their credentials before fleeing in panic or setting about them with improvised clubs and projectiles in have-a-go-hero/lynchmob kill frenzy style.

Sadly the DAPPLE website doesn't give an example of genuine DAPPLE identity documents, which could leave an opening for dastardly gas-attack terrorists packing fake IDs to masquerade as righteous government dirty-bomb boffins, allowing them to carry out their fiendish plans unmolested. But no doubt the Home Office has factored this into its calculations.

The DAPPLE-HO site does have a photo gallery, though, offering a rare glimpse into the life of a top-flight government poison-cloud expert. It seems a shame that they have to sleep in corridors, but sometimes in the War On Stuff sacrifices must be made.

The Marylebone gassings will take place "shortly", apparently. ®

*We're guessing McNulty means planning for emergencies rather than planning of emergencies. Though in this case he is planning a small, simulated emergency.

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Latest Comments

Remember the anthrax test?

I'm surprised that no-one has yet mentioned the test of an explosive device to spread anthrax spores in 1942. It was carried out on the island of Gruinard, just off the coast of Scotland. The detectors were live sheep in pens around ground zero, and registered their readings by dropping down dead, which they began to do three days after the explosion. The island was rendered inaccessible for 48 years. It was declared safe in 1990 after a massive decontamination exercise including the removal of most of the topsoil (to where, one wonders?).

The experiment was a "proof of concept" exercise to see if it was feasible for the Nazis to mount a biological attack against Allied cities. One school of thought was that any explosion powerful enough to disperse an infectious agent would also destroy the agent, so rendering the attack harmless. The Gruinard experiment proved this view wrong.

For details, see: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/1457035.stm

A search on "anthrax island" will throw up lots of sources, and references to similar experiments.

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You have a pedant on this thread - Me.

From the World Health Organisation ( www.who.int/mediacentre/factsheets/fs257/en/ ) :

"In case of uranium or DU intake, the radiation dose limits are applied to inhaled insoluble uranium-compounds only. For all other exposure pathways and the soluble uranium-compounds, chemical toxicity is the factor that limits exposure."

So it's the toxicity, not the radiation, that causes the overwhelming portion of the damage if ingested.

Of course, this debate is kinda pointless unless you're a health professional treating DU ingestion. For the rest of us, whether you die from the radiation or from the poisoning, you're still dead, so it doesn't matter.

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Self Employed Non Dom Virtualised IDEntity Sourcing for Government Hacks.

Of course, further to the above post mentioning Colossal TEMPEST Works, one could very reasonably ask why anyone would want to saddle themselves with interfering incompetent ne'erdowells rather than just ignoring them completely and boldly going the Private Route to Reward the True Entrepreneur with a Proven Track Record.

The Madness would be in not using that Root and therefore the Perfect Sense In Sanity would be to use it and IT, instead.

After All, if the/a Government and its Supposed Support Intelligence Services aren't ahead of the Game with all of the Public Purse [and the Bank of England] at its Beck and Call ..... ITs PlayDough .... then it is Incompetents stacked in the Cabinet, is it not?

J'accuse.

And of course, such Disaffection, if even Vaguely Valid [and that is always the Caveat which allows for Immediate Remedial Action to address the Perception] will always Permit Foreign Interests which may be more Public than Private to Enter the PlayZone and ITs PayZones. And who would fault them for their Bold Enterprise?

Although with such a Pink Society as regales the masses with dancing on ice and cooking with bored and boring celebs, we can hardly expect them to be led by Hardy Boys and Girls whether from the Y or not ........ and can you imagine this from the Land of Soap Artists trailering Trash/Sub Prime Programming ..... http://blog.wired.com/27bstroke6/2008/02/air-force-launc.html

This is designed to cheer up, youTubes ....... and it is Prescient too in ITs Own Inimitable Enigmatic Way :-) .... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OEoJlV003p4&feature=related.

If the Nation had a Monarchy which could Lead Right Royally, we wouldn't be having this Monologue. Wake Up, Charlie Boy, Wales XXXXpects and all that Jazz.

cc HMGCC

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