Feeds

Jedi to open Surrey academy

Home Counties feel the Force

Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction

Wannabe Jedi Knights are advised to brush up on their lightsaber techniques, dust off their copy of the Jedi Handbook, and get down to Surrey, where two Star Wars aficionados have announced their intention to open a training centre dedicated to promoting the popular alternative religion.

The plan is the brainchild of Daniel Jones, aka Morda Helol, and bruv Barney (Jonba Hehol) who helped start the first UK branch of the "church" in their native Anglesey and have now set their sights on a Home Counties community hall for the centre of the UK's first Jedi academy.

Leading the worship will be 21-year-old Master Ajec, who has not revealed his real name, according to local press reports. Accolytes will be expected to have a copy of the aforementioned code before attending chapter meetings at which they'll either wear Obi-Wan Kenobiesque robes or the black trousers and black t-shirt which make up Jedi civvies.

Morda Helol explained: "We are not extremists, we are not psychotics and we are not a cult. This is a treatment plan to better your life. It is exploiting the best parts of your life. You can follow it completely or at you own pace. We open our doors to anyone."

Training to become a Jedi Master can apparently take up to two years, during which time disciples will have to master the lightsaber, study technology, martial arts and meditation and "learn the importance of neuro-linguistic programming" - something which is reckoned to act as a substitute for Jedi mind-control powers.

According to Mr Helol, he's had offers from Brazil, France, Spain and the US to establish similar chapters. He declared: "This is going worldwide."

Local paper The Courier does not provide any details as to where and when Surrey will benefit from the Jedi training centre, but rest assured we'll provide full details as and when they become available. ®

3 Big data security analytics techniques

More from The Register

next story
Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN
Reg reader snaps shot of touching tribute to Apple icon
Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL
Bank: 'We are now safely patched.' Customers: 'You were using OpenSSL?'
Happy 40th Playmobil: Reg looks back at small, rude world of our favourite tiny toys
Little men straddle LOHAN, attend tiny G20 Summit... ah, sweet memories...
Spanish village called 'Kill the Jews' mulls rebranding exercise
Not exactly attractive to the Israeli tourist demographic
Lego is the TOOL OF SATAN, thunders Polish priest
New minifigs like Monster Fighters are turning kids to the dark side
Dark SITH LORD 'Darth Vader' joins battle to rule, er, Ukraine
Only I can 'make an empire out of a republic' intones presidential candidate
Chinese company counters pollution by importing fresh air
Citizens line up for bags of that sweet, sweet mountain air
Google asks April Fools: Want a job? Be our 'Pokemon Master'
Mountain View is prankin' like it's 1999...
prev story

Whitepapers

Designing a defence for mobile apps
In this whitepaper learn the various considerations for defending mobile applications; from the mobile application architecture itself to the myriad testing technologies needed to properly assess mobile applications risk.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.
Five 3D headsets to be won!
We were so impressed by the Durovis Dive headset we’ve asked the company to give some away to Reg readers.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Securing web applications made simple and scalable
In this whitepaper learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.