Feeds

Google absolved of 'crimes against humanity'

$5bn lawsuit meets its maker

Build a business case: developing custom apps

Shuka-shuka-shuka-shuka-shuka.

Black helicopters were spotted over Scranton, Pennsylvania last week, as Dylan Stephen Jayne saw his civil rights lawsuit against Google flushed once and for all down the proverbial toilet.

As some may recall, Jayne had an epiphany back on September 16th, 2007, after he discovered that his social security number when turned upside down formed a scrambled code that spelled - oh my! - Google.

Google's plot for world domination lay revealed at last. The feds, a local news outlet, and the conniving citizens of Milford, Pennsylvania all had bit parts to play in this little-known subtext to the War on Terror.

Alas, the War on Terror waits for no man. No time to lose, he rushed down to the courthouse on September 18th, 2007 to file a claim under 42 U.S.C. section 1983 (which allows for lawsuits based on government civil rights violations) seeking redress to the tune of $5bn. The case was summarily dismissed. And then Jayne appealed.

No death by a thousand cuts here. Perhaps the robes muffled the whir of the rotors. In a rather sniffy, 267-word opinion, the 3rd Circuit affirmed that Google is not a state actor and therefore did not fall within the purview of the section in question. We hear the Idaho panhandle is lovely this time of year.

Dylan Stephen Jayne's lovingly handcrafted filings can be found here. ®

Build a business case: developing custom apps

More from The Register

next story
Assange™: Hey world, I'M STILL HERE, ignore that Snowden guy
Press conference: ME ME ME ME ME ME ME (cont'd pg 94)
Premier League wants to PURGE ALL FOOTIE GIFs from social media
Not paying Murdoch? You're gonna get a right LEGALLING - thanks to automated software
Online tat bazaar eBay coughs to YET ANOTHER outage
Web-based flea market struck dumb by size and scale of fail
Amazon takes swipe at PayPal, Square with card reader for mobes
Etailer plans to undercut rivals with low transaction fee offer
US regulators OK sale of IBM's x86 server biz to Lenovo
Now all that remains is for gov't offices to ban the boxes
XBOX One will learn to play media from USB and DLNA sources
Hang on? Aren't those file formats you hardly ever see outside torrents?
Class war! Wikipedia's workers revolt again
Bourgeois paper-shufflers have 'suspended democracy', sniff unpaid proles
prev story

Whitepapers

Endpoint data privacy in the cloud is easier than you think
Innovations in encryption and storage resolve issues of data privacy and key requirements for companies to look for in a solution.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Top 8 considerations to enable and simplify mobility
In this whitepaper learn how to successfully add mobile capabilities simply and cost effectively.
Solving today's distributed Big Data backup challenges
Enable IT efficiency and allow a firm to access and reuse corporate information for competitive advantage, ultimately changing business outcomes.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.