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Exploding moose steals copper cables

And evades Heathrow plods

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Internet Security Threat Report 2014

The FBI and the Department of Homeland Security have warned of the threat of female suicide bombers pretending to be pregnant, but really having fake bellies packed with explosives.

But why disguise yourself as a pregnant women (max explosive carrying capacity circa 10lbs) when you can disguise yourself as an average American and smuggle 200lbs of explosives under a golf shirt?

Anonymous Coward


Baby Boomers?

I'll be off...

Wal


" I banged her and 9 months later she went POP ! "

Rob McCann


72 virgins for you and for ever might be a nice reason to give up your life as a young man (even though I'd take 2 experienced ones over 72 virgins every day as a much better deal...), I fail to see how this may help to recruit women suicide bombers...

greg


Presumably the idea behind this is so that if a pregnant woman gets on a bus or a train, every single able-bodied person will leap up and crowd into the corner furthest away from her, allowing her to sit down and have plenty of space. It was our loss of respect for others that made this necessary, I tell you.

Now all they have to do is issue a warning about bombs hidden in old ladies' wigs, and they'll get their seats back as well.

Spleen


A moose at the end of its tether plummeted 150 feet to land dangerously close to Alaska State Trooper Howard Peterson's car. It faced the moose-ic alright, but that wasn't the worst of the puns:

"he was nearly killed by a falling moose"

I've seen a fair few moose in my day. There forever scampering around the corn fields and I've even had the odd one in my hoose. BUt I aint ever seen a moose big enough to crush a car. That must be some crazy moose. My wee field moose would run away terrified!

Was the cat chasing the moose? Did the cat land okay? Did it eat the moose?

Chris Morrison


So Lord Rockingham was right then when he said, "Hoots mon! There's a moose loose aboot this hoose!"

However, I note that the story fails to mention if it this occurred on a braw bricht moonlicht nicht. Sloppy journalism indeed.

Mike Smith


That 'moose't have been a bit of a shock!

Mine's the fur one with the antlers......

Rory Webber


You missed the obvious pun

No one is quite sure what happened - It's a moose-tery.

Clive Galway


You've never eaten moose? It's fantastic. Chocolate's my favourite

Please pass me my coat and a blamonge . Ta

Mark Lockwood

Twits moose-querading as wits. Well, I'm not one to talk... ®

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