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Exploding moose steals copper cables

And evades Heathrow plods

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Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Comments An illegal immigrant evaded security at Heathrow airport by having it away on her legs,. Later, she worked as a cleaner at the House of Commons. You cheered her on:

Absolutely hilarious. I think she should be given a visa and allowed to stay indefinitely.

She has done an invaluable service to this country, she has exposed a fool proof way for Al Quaeda to breach our national borders and she has also shown how worthless ID cards will be. After all, she was given a pass to allow her into Parliament, which one might think would be somewhat secure.

HMG: 0 Brazilian Cleaning Ladies: 1

Steve Browne


"...officials seem not to know where she got the pass or to whom it had been issued in the first place"

Every security pass I've ever carried has had two things in common, they all bore a picture of my face, and my name. Sometimes more, but never less.

This seems to suggest that despite all the TWaT hysteria that our 'representatives' foist upon us, those within parliament still don't really believe the threat sufficiently to implement even the basics of a door entry system such as one might find in any mid size corporation.

I mean seriously, even if this is something like the temporary blank 'contractor' pass you get issued when you get to work and realise you left your key card in your other pants, someone would have had to enter the card in the system originally, abd to set the timeout.

Unless these idiots genuinely just turn out piles of the damn things and leave them in a basket at the security desk for anyone who wants to take a handful.

I refuse completely (foolish, I know) to believe that anyone could truly be that incompetent by accident. This absolutely stinks of MPs rigging the system for their own convenience.

Another instance of them exempting themselves from the checks and balances they seek to impose on the rest of us ?

The Other Steve


Sometimes, when I don't have time to revalidate my travel pass before the weekend, I need to use it to get into town so I can buy an update. I find as long as I wave something resembling a photo pass, I can get past all three checks with a Jedi Mind Trick. That's a bus driver, a train inspector and the wall of inspectors in the station. It got to the point I stopped showing them my valid pass, just to see how far I could get before having to show them the real one. I gave up when I realised I'd never be stopped, even if I was showing an out of date ticket to the wrong zones with a mate's photo on it.

They don't even care if it's a valid pass any more, as long as it resembles something close to one. These are actually the droids you're looking for, you chimps.

Jared Earle


I used to work at a secure military establishment. There was a sweepstake to see who could get passed security with least ID. The winning pass was lightly grilled and eaten with butter for lunch.

Perpetual Cyclist


Police in Derbyshire have been searching for a criminal who attempted to cut through an 11,000V power line. They have been unable to locate the "badly scorched" crim.

Many years ago a relative of mine worked in the System Control Centre for the Jamaica Public Service Company, the electric utility in Jamaica. One night reports of an outage came in when there was nothing indicating a problem on the board, so System Control had Transmission & Special Services send a truck out to find out what was going on. When they arrived at the outage area, the T&SS men called in that the reason for the outage was that someone had removed about several hundred metres of 24,000 volt primary distribution cable. Whoever had done it hadn't cut through the cable, they'd climbed the poles where there were attachment points and dismantled the attachments. A more difficult, but much safer, way to steal cable.

Perhaps citizens of the <cough> ex-Mother Country </cough> might learn a thing or two.

James O'Shea


I remember years ago that the tenants of one of the houses near me took all of the lead pipe out of their house and sold it, then they claimed they had been robbed. The council put in a new kitchen, bathroom and at the same time central heating! Sometimes stupidity does pay!

Tom


When recently working for a signage company, one of our installation guys was setting up an external sign outside a large office building. He was told to move the sign to a different location as the original site was over a 35kV main line. He moved, and proceeded to excavate using a mini-jackhammer. Five feet down, he hits said 35kV line. He's a big chap but he still managed to jump straight out of the hole...

Jackhammer melted beyond repair. Installer OK though.

Simon Robinson

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