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FBI issues prosthetic pregnant belly bomb alert

Terrorist bang in the oven

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

The FBI and Department of Homeland Security are warning US law enforcement agencies to keep a sharp look-out for "a new type of terrorism" in which apparently-pregnant women suddenly go bang due to the fact they aren't really mums-to-be at all, but cold-hearted suicide bombers packing explosives inside a swelling prosthetic belly.

We kid you not. In case you were wondering how this devilish device works, CBS explains that it "opens up from the front and the explosives are placed inside". There's a chilling news report demonstrating the hi-tech mechanism here.

CBS station in WCBS-TV in New York City duly dragged out security expert Robert Strang for his take on a bang in the oven. He said: "It's not the first time we've had women involved before in one way or another. They're recruiting anybody they can get to do those things that's not going to inform law enforcement, that's not going to be a threat to these organisations that can get the job done."

The they in question is, of course, al-Qaeda, and the powers that be are reportedly a tad concerned that it's "actively recruiting people who look like Americans and sound like Americans to carry out the next attack on America".

While the authorities admit they actually have "no specific, credible intelligence" which indicates terrorists are "planning to use women and suicide bombers to attack", they say they issued the explosive prosthetic pregnant belly alert "in the wake of recent attacks overseas". ®

Bootnote

Thanks to Mike Richards for the dynamite tip-off.

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