A religion claiming to be the one true religion and if only everyone believed in them then all the world would be at peace........no change from normal there then. Every religion on the planet is stark raving bonkers. They all make the "truth" up as they go along, and all they want are two things from you.

1. Your money

2. Your slavish and unquestioning obedience

The guy, and the rest of the crazed scientology nutcases, should be locked up.

"Being a Scientologist, when you drive past an accident it's not like anyone else. As you drive past, you know you have to do something about it because you know you're the only one that can really help."

What!?? I think you'll find, Mr Cruise, that any decent human being - religious or not - will stop at the scene of an accident to provide aid if the emergency services are not already at the scene. Why does being a scientologist change that?

And also, stop brainwashing Katie. She still will be my future wife when she wriggles out of your clutches! :o)

which the Catholics didn't. And the Scientificologicalifarians said there'd be aliens 'n' space blasters 'n' lava and all sorts, although the presentation looked suspiciously like an old VHS episode of He-Man & the Masters of the Universe...

I don't know about other sites but when I tried the youtube video yesterday, I was told it was no longer available due to a copyright claim by the Church of Scientology International. Lovingly uploaded by someone else:

http://i103.photobucket.com/albums/m144/zomgbbqlol/Whoa.jpg

Does youtube have a pretty tight system for avoiding any Joe under an assumed name telling them to pull a copyrighted clip? Anyway, it's back up there now and we can all enjoy the frighteningly bizzare ramblings of this 'confused' individual.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3orDPL-Q5eQ

Possibly restored because CoSI has no copyright just because it features one of its members talking about it?

Sounds like Apple...

"Being a Scientologist, when you drive past an accident it's not like anyone else. As you drive past, you know you have to do something about it because you know you're the only one that can really help."

"Help, I've just been hit by a car."

"Don't worry, sir. There's an ambulance on it's way to you."

"Sod the paramedics - get me a scientologist!"

It really does take a special kind of nut to join scientology when even the most perfunctory investigation shows that it was started by a drug-abusing, paranoid schizophrenic fraudster who is *on the record* as saying that the best way to make an absolute tonne of money is to start your own religion.

Then he starts a religion with massive subscription fees and goes around bullying everyone into staying and giving him money.

For anyone that's not seen it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocw90W44Boc

why does anyone even give these morons a platform?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/legolam/20546008/

Where to start with this one? After The Shorts One's erratic behaviour in public, for his lawyer to call anything 'Nutty' is utterly bonkers...

What was all that about driving past accidents? The sooner this guy and his cult are erased the better.

Pot/Kettle anyone?

It's not so much the awful, stupid things he's saying but the /way/ he says them. I guess he's not trying to fake sincerity, but the constipated expression on his face as he makes chopping motions with his hand to indicate seriousness...

What an astonishing fool the man is.

Xians and others have the benefit of a shrouded past and reading between the lines. They explain away 7 day creation and humans genetic past with parables and the holy book only being inspired by the creator.

Scientology has no such luxury. Its a fully fledged word by word scifi religion with extra malice and greed.

No wonder he doesn't do many interviews! Thank god I say. He'd bore everyone to death!

"Writing for a penny a word is ridiculous. If a man really wants to make a million dollars, the best way would be to start his own religion." - L. Ron Hubbard

You're either in or you're out. You've got a responsiblity to create a new reality. Lets get it done, have enough love compassion and toughness, and do it, and er...do it right...

Wha-choo-ona-baaat mate? Couldn't follow most of it.

Plus the outbursts of seemingly hysterical laughter....its like a slightly mad person at the bus stop telling you a joke which only makes sense to them.

"why does anyone even give these morons a platform?"

Why post a link then ?

Anyone who has to use "you know" when trying to make their own argument carries zero credence.

In case you are wondering; the 'help' that Mr Cruise is offering to any accident victims consists of pointing at them.

Yes, really, no joke. Standing and extending an index finger and pointing. They call it "touch assists", which is peculiar as it involves neither touching nor assisting.

Scientology is an ideology based on incoherence sent to save us from our own lucidity. I feel that much safer now.

"Because there's still the whole thing of; let's go!"

Paris, because she's cut from the other end of the same cloth.

Its interesting to listen to Mr Cruise talk so passionately about this subject.

Its even more notable that every time he says "... get on board" its quite clear he's not talking metaphorically.

Then according to Tom's logic we can safely drive by, content in the knowledge that they can help themselves.

That's a burden off my shoulders.

There is a big difference between Scientology and other religions in that its founder started it as a money-making exercise, which meant that Scientology was from the beginning an extremely efficient business operation in which revenue generation is indivisible from participation.

Other religions had at least an initial phase of genuine belief. When they gained enough followers, they became a money-making opportunity, and then the businessmen moved in. They had to bolt on the revenue generating part to the existing structure, hence the rather clumsy donation/tithing model compared to Scientology's requirement that you pay for courses to move up. Christianity would be much more efficient if they charged for entrance to the church service and premium amounts for baptisms etc, but if they tried they'd be condemned as ungodly.

Turning a cult of a few hundred members into a religion of millions also creates inevitable conflict with the original holy doctrine. It's so difficult to reconcile the existence of a multinational political and financial powerhouse like the Catholic Church with the more personal philosophy of Jesus that Jack Chick's case for the Vatican being Satanic, based on Biblical verses, is actually quite convincing (or no less convincing than any other interpretation of the Bible). Scientology has no such problem because the organisation was built alongside the doctrine, rather than after it. El Reg's IT audience should have no trouble understanding how superior this approach is.

So the religions are very different - by which I mean Scientology is better, for its purpose anyway. (The sole purpose of a religion larger than a few hundred members who all know each other is to make money and wield political influence. Salvation, if it exists, can be done in small groups just as well as large ones.) But the religions are exactly the same in terms of followers. Scientologists aren't any more extreme or more gullible than other religious folk. Tom Cruise's weird-sounding comment on stopping at accidents is reminiscent of the large number of Christians who believe that atheists are inherently immoral or amoral.

why thankyou sir, that kind of publicity even money couldn't buy :)

That's nothing, the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster has beer volcanoes and a stripper factory.

Given that religion can get pretty fanatical/ludicrous/dogmatic/ (Delete as appropriate) to begin with, it takes something really special for the entire world - Men, women, Children, Hindu's, Muslims, Christians, Atheists, Agnostics, Pastaferians, and Jedi Knights - to all stop, look, and agree "That's F**ked up."

L. Ron Hubbard, we salute you - through your pseudo-religion, you've done more to promote world peace than many men before you...

"the 'help' that Mr Cruise is offering to any accident victims consists of pointing at them."

Don't they ask how much cash they have on them first?

Ha! Once again our Thetens corrupt your puny human souls! We spit upon the Cruise and his minions of drooling sycophants! Even now our DC-8 Space Planes circle, ready to deposit alien prisoners upon your hapless world of Teegeeack! The Electronic Ribbon is eternal!

All glory to the Galactic Confederacy!

(this is all real Scientology doctrine, for those of you who didn't know)

Awlright then.

Here is a religion I made up.

Because I worship myself I can promise myself that I am a god and everything is mine and I am the bestest ever.

Top that.

That clip is just dying out for someone to re-edit it and over-dub a wacky soundtrack to make Cruise look like a total nut-job. Oh, wait, hang on. I think he did that himself in the original!

> Standing and extending an index finger and pointing. They call it "touch

> assists", which is peculiar as it involves neither touching nor assisting.

Well, according to http://www.scientologyhandbook.org/SH6_4.HTM, it does actually involve "touching", but I think you're probably right about the "assisting" part.

Pastaferians is a ridiculous and insulting word.

If you want to be accurate, make a distinction between the real 'whole weat' pastafarians and the non believers aka spaghetti-heads.

Kind regards

If you believe they stick to legal (let alone ethical) behavior, I'd suggest you research the case of Keith Henson

3. Give the command “Feel my finger,” then touch a point, using moderate finger pressure.

Do not touch and then give the command; that would be backwards.

Touch with only one finger. If you used two fingers the person could be confused about which he was supposed to feel.

Yep, sounds good,

Now onto loaves and fish in that other barking religion...

Thou shalt not judge religion by Tom Cruise.....

no....really.......

I wonder if Cruise/Wagner Productions are ballsy enough to give Hollywood a fright with AIMedia Blitzkrieg? ..... http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/01/15/wiretap_policy_landgrab/comments/ .

I wonder if he/they need to ask permission from the Boss, whoever she may be? A hooker with a heart of gold can capture the heart, body and soul of any Live Being.... and aint that the Sweet and Sweetest of Universal Truths Uniting Artists.

...amanfrommars wen you need a lucid explanation...

are soon parted. Even quicker for a person like Tom Cruise.

I thought this was obvious, but some people are fools. You split the universe into fools and non-fools, and find out where the money is. It becomes very obvious.

and opinions on this item, organised religion in general and those that practice/believe/do organised religion were too extreme for The Register to publish.

So, if this is published you will all know how very strongly I feel about such things.

The end is nigh, for free speech the end is already here.

So I looked up KSW, to see what the Xenu Tom Cruise was ranting on about.

Every course begins with the same Hubbard Policy Letter, Keeping Scientology Working, which establishes the infallibility of Hubbard's so-called "technology." In that PL, Hubbard boldly states, "What I say in these pages has always been true, it holds true today, it will still hold true in the year 2000 and it will continue to hold true from there on out." [...]

In Scientology, you cannot challenge the word of Hubbard and expect to remain a member in good standing for long. There's nothing whatsoever in Hubbard's writings and recorded lectures that a Scientologist can maintain even the most minor dispute. The Church considers that all disagreements with Hubbard doctrine come from some lack in understanding of the inviolable truths contained in the material. The only option a student has to reconcile a contrary view is to keep restudying the particular area in dispute until the misunderstanding is "cleared up." In this way the rigid dogma of Scientology is preserved, and all thoughts or opinions contrary to Hubbard's view are subdued.

Fascinating stuff.

How can us rational pacifists deal with such unbendable lunacy? Maybe we should be a bit more militant in our pacifism too?

(I included the sick bird one because, well "El Reg" is almost like "El Ron", and yeah...)

You're plugging Universal and United Artists in your post? Have you just started work for the MPAA or something?

No Sacred Chao icon? I'm disappointed.

Was it just me or is Tom Cruise incapable of saying anything coherant without it being scrited for him. Or was the $cientologi$t$ script so aweful, like the editing, that he decided to wing it.

Although it would not surprise me to learn that, due to his well known overinflated ego, he refused a script.

Cruise keeps reminding us that Scientology is the only religion which will be able to bring about world peace/Unity.

I would say on that point that he is somehwat correct. Though not through the application of his religion, mainly through all the other religions and in fact anyone with a margin of cognitive function standing together pointing at him and saying

"Dude your seriously f*cked in the head"

>If you believe they stick to legal (let alone ethical) behaviour, I'd suggest you research the case of Keith Henson

just the one? I'd highly recommend reading

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scientology_and_the_legal_system

Operation snow white alone should have resulted in the whole organisation being dissolved and the leaders ending up in a convenient offshore tortu...prisons

"Every course begins with the same Hubbard Policy Letter, Keeping Scientology Working, which establishes the infallibility of Hubbard's so-called 'technology.' In that PL, Hubbard boldly states, 'What I say in these pages has always been true, it holds true today, it will still hold true in the year 2000 and it will continue to hold true from there on out.'"

"We are at war with Eurasia. We have always been at war with Eurasia." Is it me, or did that PL take a lesson from 1984?

"That's nothing, the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster has beer volcanoes and a stripper factory"

Wow!!

Sign me up, where should I send my $$$$$ ?

Read the bit in the scientology handbook about the touch assist. It's about reestablishing contact with the injured part of the body and draw attention to it.

If I had a sprained wrist I wouldn't need some numty poking it with their finger to draw my attention to it!

Why Paris? Best looking icon

Re: Top that.

I'm schizophrenic, I've got thousands of followers who all believe in me. At least I think they do, if they'd all stop talking at the same time and listen I might be able to get a vote on it.

What's this about chistianity making money;

"all they want are two things from you.

1. Your money"

The DONATIONS I give at my church goes to poorer people, around my area.

If the catholic church (part of christianity) can afford to pay out $1 billion in settlements to people abused in the US alone then I'd say a fair amount of the money given does not make it to poor people.

In Chicago alone they have $790 million in assets (2001 figure). Where does all that stuff come from, eh?

Ref April 2002 article in Business Week:

http://www.businessweek.com/magazine/content/02_15/b3778001.htm

The article focuses on the financial problems of the church but boyo are they still rolling in it. I know the article is old but I've only just worked out how to use the internet.

...and we all know they're all a load of made up rubbish, mostly followed and run by nutcases with a blinkered belief on what one person reportedly told us.

I think that about covers it, doesn't it?

"You're plugging Universal and United Artists in your post? Have you just started work for the MPAA or something?"

Are they paying, AC? And who would then be working with whom and for whom and for what?

Holywood Rules Hollywood Rules for Twice the Fun and Games/AIdDeeper Pleasure in Double Penetration? And don't answer that if you Realise IT is XSSXXXXually Spooky Political too.

Ok.... Time for a Java Injection/Coffee Break. :-)

Right. More HAARP stuff again in the title - why?

Also, by wondering if Cruise et al will take on the major film studios, are you making reference to their having dumped him in favour of Will Smith?

As regards needing permission, if Cruise is at the top then he has the permission doesn't he?

If he doesn't, presumabley he can jump up and down on their office couch and screaming until he is red in the face until they give in.

Or maybe he will say (in a commanding gnome voice) 'feel my finger' and point at them menacingly.

That's DURUM wheat (accept no substitute for your pasta)not WHOLE wheat!

WHAT no Flying Spaghetti Monster

"And who would then be working with whom and for whom and for what?"

Reads like a line somebody would give to Johnny Depp.

Is amanfromMars Johnny Depp? Could have been Ed Wood for all I knew. :)

Also, is our right venerable Martian colleague alluding to the somewhat tongue in cheek but possibly quite true (I wouldn't know, I'm not that charismatic) notion that to get ahead in the IT business I must shag Paris Hilton?

Nice - I get to use the Paris Hilton icon. :)

If any of them say, pull my finger?

i can feel them pulling me in ... closer ... closer ... cannot resist ...

on the other hand the stripper factory sounds enticing too. How much is that one? does it come in black?

Here is the truth

All the tenants of every religion were written by men for men. God did not write a single word. Neither did women. That is also why men run religions not women (apart from some very limited exceptions). Most religions are also dishonest and deceitful because they deny these facts.

So Hubbard made it all up. What's the difference?

So I could start a religion. You could start a religion. All you need are some ideas and some followers.

You understand that I am religious. So could you be, but you have to be careful who you believe.

Bird Flue

Norovirus

Foot and Mouth

Ebola virus

You really can't get away from these guys

"Are they paying, AC? And who would then be working with whom and for whom and for what?"

Little Ralphie has grown up, he used to say "Maybe I wanna to use them."

....nutjobs!

Nothing to see here.

Just don't mention those suffocating clams. Even thinking of them makes my abdominal muscles go all tense and quivery and keeps me from breathing...

As for Christianity, my grandmother (she who was declared a Suppressive Person by the Scientologists) had a student lodger from the West Indies. For a few weeks the lodger went to church, then she stopped going. Gran asked why she'd stopped going and the lodger said,

"Back home the Church takes a collection every week for the poor benighted people in Britain. Over here the Church takes a collection every week for the poor benighted people in the West Indies. Something's not right there!"

I don't find the delivery particularly convincing. Much like his cinematic performances, come to think of it. So he is either a) acting, and he knows it's all bullshit, or b) genuinely insincere as a human, and yet believes every word. Whichever it is, he sucks at it.

There is ABSOLUELY NO SUBSTANCE in this presentation. Not one iota. It's pure hype, designed to get credulous fools to think "Wow! I want to know more about this!"

"Certainly, Sir or Madman. The Secrets of the Universe can be yours for a small monthly stipend, payable for the remainder of your pusillanimous existence. Plus, you will receive this attractive carriage clock with no obligation to buy, etc etc..."

The more you find out about Scientology, the less you seem to know.

So scientologists are trained paramedics too?

Cool

I'll put that number into my mobile, I could do with some help in the field