Feeds

Bill Gates lives inside of Facebook CEO

The second coming

Security for virtualized datacentres

Knife the Beacon

And here we have the Gates clone proof.

You all remember the Gates of the Microsoft anti-trust trial, swaying back and forth in his chair, appearing like the Oscar the Grouch of Bismarckian software delivery. You remember the Gates of many CES speeches, pounding the audience with boredom via Kermit the Frog's voice. You remember the unwashed kid horrifying all those around him with his unwashedness and general disregard for human niceties.

The Zuckerberg creation replicated almost all of Gates' least charming traits during the interview through his Beacon chatter and later, for example, when 60 Minutes asked the simple question, "Do you own any suits?".

"Zero. I don't think so," he said.

Zuckerberg then turned to an off-camera public relations person - who is apparently employed by Facebook's competitors - and asked, "Do I?". And, as it turns out, Zuckerberg does in fact own one suit.

We're all for the absent-minded engineer/computer scientist/programmer. The Register loves many of these folks. It is, however, sad to see some supposed, young brainiac claim that he can't remember whether or not he owns a suit. This has to be the work of a tremendous stoner or, as we all know, a new Gates formed in a petri dish.

We think it's time for Facebook to confess about Zuckerberg's true past. Such a move would go a long way to explaining his behavior and toward helping the public deal with his personality.

If Facebook fails to do this, they'll have to keep confronting the fact that Zuckerberg doesn't come off as the quirky, odd geek next door but rather a creepy, reality-abandoning homonculus.

So, please, just tell us the truth. ®

Otto Z. Stern is a director at The Institute of Technological Values - a think tank dedicated to a more moral digital age. He has closely monitored the IT industry's intersection with America's role as a world leader for 30 years. You can find Stern locked and loaded, corralling wounded iLemmings, talking, drinking and driving, reflecting on Anna Nicole Smith's American chest, fearing Intel Inside Chinese golf clubs, suppressing Bill Gates U, digesting head mash, developing strong Mexican engineers, fearing pink Yahoo!, corrupting his youth in Sadville, masticating beta culture, finding the new Bill Gates at Facebook, booing our soccer team, following Jimmy Wales, despising U-Haul, nursing an opal-plated prostate, spanking open source fly boys, Googling Bro-Magnon Man, wearing a smashing suit, watching Dead Man, dropping a SkyCar on the Googleplex, spitting on Frenchmen, and vomiting in fear with a life-sized cutout of Hilary Rosen at his solar-powered compound somewhere in the Great American Southwest.

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk

More from The Register

next story
Are you a fat boy? Get to university NOW, you PENNILESS SLACKER
Rotund types paid nearly 20% less than people who didn't eat all the pies
Emma Watson should SHUT UP, all this abuse is HER OWN FAULT
... said an anon coward who we really wish hadn't posted on our website
Japan develops robot CHEERLEADERS which RIDE on BALLS
'Will put smiles on faces worldwide', predicts corporate PR chief
Bruges Booze tubes to pump LOVELY BEER underneath city
Belgian booze pumped from underground
Let it go, Steve: Ballmer bans iPads from his LA Clippers b-ball team
Can you imagine the scene? 'Hey guys, it's your new owner – WTF is that on your desk?'
Amazon: Wish in one hand, Twit in the other – see which one fills first
#AmazonWishList A year's supply of Arran scotch, ta
SLOSH! Cops dethrone suspect - by tipping over portaloo with him inside
Talk about raising a stink and soiling your career
Oz carrier Tiger Air takes terror alerts to new heights
Don't doodle, it might cost you your flight
Oi, London thief. We KNOW what you're doing - our PRECRIME system warned us
Aye, shipmate, it be just like that Minority Report
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Storage capacity and performance optimization at Mizuno USA
Mizuno USA turn to Tegile storage technology to solve both their SAN and backup issues.
The next step in data security
With recent increased privacy concerns and computers becoming more powerful, the chance of hackers being able to crack smaller-sized RSA keys increases.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.