Feeds

Bill Gates lives inside of Facebook CEO

The second coming

High performance access to file storage

Knife the Beacon

And here we have the Gates clone proof.

You all remember the Gates of the Microsoft anti-trust trial, swaying back and forth in his chair, appearing like the Oscar the Grouch of Bismarckian software delivery. You remember the Gates of many CES speeches, pounding the audience with boredom via Kermit the Frog's voice. You remember the unwashed kid horrifying all those around him with his unwashedness and general disregard for human niceties.

The Zuckerberg creation replicated almost all of Gates' least charming traits during the interview through his Beacon chatter and later, for example, when 60 Minutes asked the simple question, "Do you own any suits?".

"Zero. I don't think so," he said.

Zuckerberg then turned to an off-camera public relations person - who is apparently employed by Facebook's competitors - and asked, "Do I?". And, as it turns out, Zuckerberg does in fact own one suit.

We're all for the absent-minded engineer/computer scientist/programmer. The Register loves many of these folks. It is, however, sad to see some supposed, young brainiac claim that he can't remember whether or not he owns a suit. This has to be the work of a tremendous stoner or, as we all know, a new Gates formed in a petri dish.

We think it's time for Facebook to confess about Zuckerberg's true past. Such a move would go a long way to explaining his behavior and toward helping the public deal with his personality.

If Facebook fails to do this, they'll have to keep confronting the fact that Zuckerberg doesn't come off as the quirky, odd geek next door but rather a creepy, reality-abandoning homonculus.

So, please, just tell us the truth. ®

Otto Z. Stern is a director at The Institute of Technological Values - a think tank dedicated to a more moral digital age. He has closely monitored the IT industry's intersection with America's role as a world leader for 30 years. You can find Stern locked and loaded, corralling wounded iLemmings, talking, drinking and driving, reflecting on Anna Nicole Smith's American chest, fearing Intel Inside Chinese golf clubs, suppressing Bill Gates U, digesting head mash, developing strong Mexican engineers, fearing pink Yahoo!, corrupting his youth in Sadville, masticating beta culture, finding the new Bill Gates at Facebook, booing our soccer team, following Jimmy Wales, despising U-Haul, nursing an opal-plated prostate, spanking open source fly boys, Googling Bro-Magnon Man, wearing a smashing suit, watching Dead Man, dropping a SkyCar on the Googleplex, spitting on Frenchmen, and vomiting in fear with a life-sized cutout of Hilary Rosen at his solar-powered compound somewhere in the Great American Southwest.

High performance access to file storage

More from The Register

next story
Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL
Bank: 'We are now safely patched.' Customers: 'You were using OpenSSL?'
Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN
Reg reader snaps shot of touching tribute to Apple icon
Happy 40th Playmobil: Reg looks back at small, rude world of our favourite tiny toys
Little men straddle LOHAN, attend tiny G20 Summit... ah, sweet memories...
Lego is the TOOL OF SATAN, thunders Polish priest
New minifigs like Monster Fighters are turning kids to the dark side
Dark SITH LORD 'Darth Vader' joins battle to rule, er, Ukraine
Only I can 'make an empire out of a republic' intones presidential candidate
Chinese company counters pollution by importing fresh air
Citizens line up for bags of that sweet, sweet mountain air
Google asks April Fools: Want a job? Be our 'Pokemon Master'
Mountain View is prankin' like it's 1999...
prev story

Whitepapers

Mainstay ROI - Does application security pay?
In this whitepaper learn how you and your enterprise might benefit from better software security.
Five 3D headsets to be won!
We were so impressed by the Durovis Dive headset we’ve asked the company to give some away to Reg readers.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Mobile application security study
Download this report to see the alarming realities regarding the sheer number of applications vulnerable to attack, as well as the most common and easily addressable vulnerability errors.