"Yes, I know what we want is impossible, but we have given Labour so much dosh they are going to force you to do it anyway.."

Is that his very thin robotic arm, giving the crowd the finger?

Has he got a bottle of Champagne up his Ass.?

Bend over , This wont hurt a bit !

About time the ISP's showed some backbone .

"And as Geoff sat down on his novelty chair he got the opposite feeling to the users he had just shafted".

"Its such a stupid Idea I can't believe they fell for it.... mustn't laugh... must NOT laugh"

or

"My sincerity is as false as my grin and my extremely dodgy tan"

It is already far too long. It should be required that the companies lodge a DRM free version with the UK copyright libraries for free use/distribution once the copyright term has expired.

Don't tell me the penny has finally dropped?

ISPs have finally realised that if a broadband customer cannot use P2P, then they probably won't need the new xMeg upgrade...

The only time I really use all of my 2meg of broadband is when I share distros or when some idiot (usually uncle in Australia) sends me an email with a 15meg attachment. Oh, and every Tuesday (thanks MS).

Apart from that you could leave me with 256Kbs DSL and I wouldn't care (Just don't screw up my TF2 pings okay!).

I'm a smug git, the record industry is doing brilliantly which is why EMI is cutting up to 40 per cent of its work force in the next six months!!!

"This is Geoff Taylor, three seconds before realising his mineral water had been replaced with two-day-old human urine."

Wait, hang on, I made a typo.

"This is Geoff Taylor, three seconds after realising his mineral water had been replaced with two-day-old human urine."

"I get all my music for free so somebody's got to pay"

"Ooh, big Dave, keep licking it like that and we'll be as positive as-oo-oo-OHH! as you want"

BPI boss Geoff Taylor...

"We are number 1 chaps!, next year we will win again! keep up the suggestions of impractical legislation, ripping off customers, and taking legal actions against children, grandparents and single mums... Good times!"

"Somebody shoot me"

...I will never buy music again...

"You bastards"

I've got a hole in my pants pocket...

"So that's what a donky show is... how modern."

"Note to self: Sue plastic surgeon - he's probably downloaded a song or two. Then find out how to stop making this face"

"Damn! I smell good!"

"I wonder how many people are trying to light me on fire with their minds? Little do they know that I've got on my flame-retardant briefs... Which seem to itch quite badly right now..."

"Ack left ball stuck to leg, how do I adjust myself without looking like an ass? Wait, everyone knows that I am already..."

"I always love a quick wank under the table at dinners like this."

"Eeny, meeny, miney... you're getting sued... Eeny, meeny, miney... you're getting sued too... Man this never gets old..."

... then I'll scweem and scweem and take all my albums away."

"You want to hit me? Go on then, take your best shot. And I'll have you for assault on top of everything else. My life is so sweet."

BPI boss Geoff Taylor demonstrates the prolonged effects of Thorazine on the central nervous system.

... I should point out that music labels and ISPs have been trying to develop joint business models for months as Orlowski's reported on before.

And the BPI's not brought any cases against consumers for well over a year. Well, not that I've read about. I'm not saying they deserve a medal for suing consumers in the first place, but that's not my point.

It seems ISPA aren't aware of what their own members and the music business are doing in the commercial world. This article says far more about them than reflect what's actually happening in the music business.

"And then they made me head of the BPI... which was nice."

(Is it just me or does he look like Pob?)

For my next trick, I shall vomit money into this glass!

Mmmm, Lord Triesman, I think I'd better pass this glass down to you...

I recommend everyone start creating mp3s of shitting themselves 2 stone lighter, trimming them to the exact same track length as their favourite BPI listed album, package them together, name the tracks the same as said album and distribute. We can all piss away our bandwidth downloading them when we aren't surfing the net and it will really start to irritate the poor saps who have to listen to them to prove they need to sue user x.

Fuckers.

'D'you ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?'

Batman reference.

"You'll never believe it, but I've got a filesharer blowing me off under this table. Ah, the wonders of out-of-court settlements."

"...and after I burn the orphanage, I'll rent a foodwagon and drive it through Kenya... I won't stop, just drive it..."

"...I like big butts and I cannot lie..."

"I'm smiling now, but I'm going to have your mother's phone scanned for illegal ring tones..."

"I wish I could shit gold, that would be sweeeeeeeet."

"I really should get back home, that philipino sex slave will be running low on oxygen about now"

"I'm buying a Porsche for my dog"

"Mother, why didn't you love me?"

"I'm so proud, this morning my son made his first litigious threat"

(and from family guy... but it seems SO fitting here.)

"All you guys looks like ants from up here, oh wait... you ARE ants"

With apologies to LOLCATZ

INVIZIBUL LINE OF COKANE ??

Get Hugh Laurie to play me in the documentary. He's good at playing the vacuous, pompous ass!

"Geoff Taylor sits down, realises that he works for BPI not EMI."

(in response to the massive job cuts at EMI sacking 2000 of their 5500 staff)

JASR's comment made me laugh, although not a caption he should win clearly

Hmmmm, with the money I extort out of the suckers who pay overly inflated prices from CD's which cost pennies to make, most of which comes to us and not the artist, I wil be able to buy a 10 inch diameter solid gold vibrating dildo to replace the 8 inch one currently secreted on my person. Mistress Thrash will be so pleased.

"I can has lorsute?"

"I'm in ur internetz... humpin' ur MP3eez!"

"Geoff Taylor is watching you masturbate."

Dave Cameron wants the record indusrty to provide better role models in return for less file sharing? That is the wrong way to go about it. Much better is to destroy the record industry so they can't provide *any* role models, then this shitty celebrity culture will die out! The best way to destroy the record industy is by legalising file sharing. A policy of legalising file sharing will also make Dave more popular with the younger voters!

In your best Harry Enfield voice...

"... 'coz I'm considerably richer than you"

More erosion of freedom "to protect ........". Marvelous, just what this country needs. The BPI and its puppetmaster the RIAA have a long history of aggressiveness and heavyhandedness. The boss of EMI has been cited of accusing everyone (yes) of ripping off his industry, even by making copies of CDs that we buy to our MP3 players or so we can listen to CDs in our car without destroying the original. Even current legislation makes every single one of us criminals as soon as we make a copy for personal use.

Of course there are filesharers out there who are breaking every imaginable law and moral. But there always will be. There is something very wrong making laws or taking actions that effectively criminalise the entire population for the sake of the lowest common denominator.

Don't think for a moment that halting filesharing will stop children, who cannot afford the huge price of music - only there because of the "industry" that itself rips off musicians. Always supposing that it would actually be possible to detect and suppress filesharing - technology will find a way round any measures taken.

Instead of doing a Big Brother all over us, the BPI would do much better to work on ways of making music more affordable and readily available. The model of pressing for ever-increased profits at the expense of the buying public and its own staff is a hollow one that will implode one day soon. Criminalise the public and drive it underground wholesale and that day will come sooner rather than later.

Caption? No. But give me a fully loaded M15 and I'll put the flosser out of his smug misery.

"Yes, the cat DID get his cream, and paid me £2,000 in licensing fees to do it to!"

Remind me to start hassling the Highways Agency for all the bad drivers using their roads. Obviously they provide the means for all the sods that make me late for work!

"I get all my music for free so somebody's got to pay"

That wins. By far the best I'm afraid. Made me really laugh out loud.

It's such a good point, I bet he never pays a penny for any music he gets.

"Mom always said I was to make this world better. She was right. Too bad we had to sue her over her ripped Simon & Garfunkel collection".

http://uk.geocities.com/laurel_hardy_tribute/Stan_Laurel.jpg

"David Cameron goes to new lengths in his relentless quest to buddy up to the music industry by providing under the table executive relief to BPI chief."

Or perhaps

"David Cameron goes the extra six inches for the business vote."

'A copper nanotube, yesterday.'

Geoff Taylor prepares diligently for a smirking contest with George Bush

"Who said nothing was impossible? There are people in the record industry who get paid very well doing it every day."