Feeds

Alcohol enema bloke wins 2007 Darwin Award

Two bottles of sherry, the rest is history

The smart choice: opportunity from uncertainty

The 2007 Darwin Award - created to "commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it" - has been claimed by the Texas man whose addiction to alcohol enemas eventually led to a fateful encounter with two 1.5 litre bottles of sherry.

The original citation reads:

When Tammy Jean (40) married Michael in Texas in 2002 little did she know that Michael (56) had a secret.

Michael was an alcoholic.

Not an ordinary alcoholic but an alcoholic who liked to take his liquor....well, rectally.

The Texan machine shop operator couldn't ingest alcohol by mouth (apparently due to painful medical problems with his throat) so instead elected to receive his favourite beverage via enema.

Essentially the resultant effect was the same, however when the rest of us have had enough we simply stop drinking (or pass out), however when Michael had had enough (and subsequently passed out), the alcohol remaining in his rectal cavity continued to be absorbed.

Rather than dissuade Michael from ‘drinking’, Tammy assisted him in his pursuits… by supplying (in May 2004) not one but two 1.5 litre bottles of Sherry.

Michael was in for one hell of a party! More than 100 fluid ounces of sweet, sweet sherry….right up your old address!

Tammy performed her marital duties admirably, and ‘administered’ to her husbands every need. Unfortunately, when she awoke the next morning Michael was dead in the bed beside her.

A subsequent autopsy found that Michaels blood alcohol level was (wait for it..!!) 0.47% … 6 times the legal intoxication limit in Texas.

A worthy winner, joined on the podium by five runners-up including the loser of a "playing chicken with a train" prank, the chap who thought it was a good idea to demolish a barn by cutting away the roof support beams, the mole-electrocuting German (as covered on El Reg) and the couple who demonstrated exactly why it's a bad idea to have sex on a pyramid-shaped metal roof.

And finally, a fifth runner-up whose nomination has a rock-solid IT angle:

"Driving is not a time to be practicing your multitasking skills," remarked CHP spokesman Tom Marshall, commenting on a 29-year-old computer tutor's decision to drive along Highway 99 in California while working on his laptop. He drifted over the center line, and was killed by oncoming traffic. CHP officers found Oscar's computer still running, plugged into the Honda Accord's cigarette lighter.

®

The Power of One Infographic

More from The Register

next story
World Solar Challenge contender claims new speed record
One charge sees Sunswift travel 500kms at over 100 km/h
SMELL YOU LATER, LOSERS – Dumbo tells rats, dogs... humans
Junk in the trunk? That's what people have
The Sun took a day off last week and made NO sunspots
Someone needs to get that lazy star cooking again before things get cold around here
Boffins discuss AI space program at hush-hush IARPA confab
IBM, MIT, plenty of others invited to fill Uncle Sam's spy toolchest, but where's Google?
Bad back? Show some spine and stop popping paracetamol
Study finds common pain-killer doesn't reduce pain or shorten recovery
Forty-five years ago: FOOTPRINTS FOUND ON MOON
NASA won't be back any time soon, sadly
Jurassic squawk: Dinos were Earth's early FEATHERED friends
Boffins research: Ancient dinos may all have had 'potential' fluff
prev story

Whitepapers

Top three mobile application threats
Prevent sensitive data leakage over insecure channels or stolen mobile devices.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.
Designing a Defense for Mobile Applications
Learn about the various considerations for defending mobile applications - from the application architecture itself to the myriad testing technologies.
Build a business case: developing custom apps
Learn how to maximize the value of custom applications by accelerating and simplifying their development.