Feeds

Elephants take over transport network, mandate sex parties

Getting drunk with horny elephants. What could go wrong?

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction

Comments Researchers at San Diego State University have found that, contrary to the general rule that men get more heavily plastered at parties, women tend to booze more if the parties involve sexual themes and fancy dress. Why? They don't know, but you all agree that they must have had fun trying to find out:

Dr Clapp ? Investigating drunken chicks at sexually themed parties ? For real ?

The Other Steve


I'd love to see the expenses claim.

4 Bottles of Vodka

2 slabs of beer

8 Vicar costumes.

All from the university research grant!

Steve Evans


We have geeks that want to get drunk and attend parties. That's good.

They have the social grace of a dyspeptic buzzard -sorry El Reg. That's bad.

They want to tipple a bit. That's good.

They can't afford it. That's bad.

They want to go to sex parties. That's good.

Sex parties are expensive. That's bad.

Why not get the department to fund attendance by geeks at sex parties?

Aren't geeks smart?

Anonymous Coward


I've been invited to fancy dress parties. And I've been invited to sexually themed parties.

But I can honestly say, I've never heard of a fancy dress with a sexual theme party.

Black tie mandatory, crotchless optional?

Anonymous Coward


It seems rather simple to me. They're taking averages here, meaning at the more tame parties you will have a mix of society with a few of the heavier drinkers (women drinkers I mean) that are a smaller minority and more of the conservatives who don't drink as much no matter what the occasion. At the sexually themed parties you tend to weed out the more conservative women who don't attend, with the remainder being the heavier drinkers.

It's a bit like they would claim puzzlement if attendees at a Kiss concert were more likely to have their faces painted and wear black leather. They just need to get out more and taste the life they're trying to sample out of context.

JC


Mozilla was left with egg on their face after an offensive viral advertising campaign was leaked. The company quickly pulled the campaign, which featured a variety of comparative statistics, including the facts that Firefox users were less likely to have cancer or heart disease than Internet Explorer users. Oddly enough, these did not go down too well.

What worries me is were the hell they got the stats from the first place!

Hi do you mind answering a few questions

Do you have cancer?

Does anyone in your family have cancer?

Do you use Mozilla?

What a bunch of morons....

Stu Reeves


Cancer jokes are the best jokes ever. Take for instance this number;

What does the blind deaf and retarded kid get for christmas?

Cancer.

*chuckle*

TAXI!

Graham Jordan


So... Being forced to use IE rather than Firefox at work means I can sue my employer for the added health risk?

Mike Crawshaw


Here's a thought:

Older people are on the whole more set in their ways and less likely to try something new (Say for example, install firefox when IE has been fine for them).

Older people are more likely to live with other old people (husband/wife, care home etc?)

Older people are more likely to have cancer.

When you think about it it's pretty damn obvious.

Nick Thompson


My question is what Marketing Guru thought to himself; "Cancer! Yeah, that's funny! And Heart Disease - they just crack me up!"

Next up from the same Marketing Maven: fake stats on how browsers affect a users use of racial slurs - with loud examples!

I'm sure it will be hilarious.

Robert Hollis

High performance access to file storage

More from The Register

next story
Spanish village called 'Kill the Jews' mulls rebranding exercise
Not exactly attractive to the Israeli tourist demographic
Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL
Bank: 'We are now safely patched.' Customers: 'You were using OpenSSL?'
Happy 40th Playmobil: Reg looks back at small, rude world of our favourite tiny toys
Little men straddle LOHAN, attend tiny G20 Summit... ah, sweet memories...
Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN
Reg reader snaps shot of touching tribute to Apple icon
Lego is the TOOL OF SATAN, thunders Polish priest
New minifigs like Monster Fighters are turning kids to the dark side
Dark SITH LORD 'Darth Vader' joins battle to rule, er, Ukraine
Only I can 'make an empire out of a republic' intones presidential candidate
Chinese company counters pollution by importing fresh air
Citizens line up for bags of that sweet, sweet mountain air
Google asks April Fools: Want a job? Be our 'Pokemon Master'
Mountain View is prankin' like it's 1999...
prev story

Whitepapers

Securing web applications made simple and scalable
In this whitepaper learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Top three mobile application threats
Learn about three of the top mobile application security threats facing businesses today and recommendations on how to mitigate the risk.
Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.