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Taser unleashes leopardskin C2 and MP3 holster

Ladies to pack 'fashion with a bite'

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Taser International yesterday used CES in Las Vegas to unleash the last word in must-have, non-lethal fashion accessories - a leopardskin Taser C2 which can be rather splendidly carried in a new one-gig "Music Player Holster" (MPH).

The leopardskin Taser C2The latest addition to the C2 range complements the existing black, blue, pink and silver flavours designed to appeal to the threatened female demographic. Taser big cheese Rick Smith explained: "These new products are a result of listening to our customers. Personal protection can be both fashionable and functionable. The Taser C2 leopard print design provides a personal protection option for women who want fashion with a bite."

The MPH, meanwhile, is evidently the company's reponse to female customers' concerns that their kids might mistake the C2 for a toy and indulge in a bit of "let's play UCLA students and cops".

This legitimate worry led one worried mum to admit recently that while she really was looking for the peace of mind that only a Taser can bring, once she took delivery of her high-voltage enforcer, she'd "keep it locked in a box under the bed with the keys out of the kids' reach".

This, of course, makes the thing pretty well useless in the event of crack-crazed Latino assassination squads storming the house with assault rifles, so what better way to protect your family than stowing your Taser in its MPH and getting on with the dusting while grooving to Electric Ladyland? ®

Bootnote

For those among you who really must have accessories which match every outfit, the C2 is also now available in "red-hot red and fashion pink", which should allow you to avoid unfortunate colour clashes at sex-themed Californian fancy dress parties where you'll need solid protection to repel the advances of San Diego State University researchers asking you to blow on their tubes.

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