Presenting the inaugural Vulture Central Hall of Lame™
2007: Year of the dingbat
Quotations It was the Greek dramatist Sophocles who once wrote: "A short saying often contains much wisdom."
And Marlene Dietrich said: "I love quotations because it is a joy to find thoughts one might have, beautifully expressed with much authority by someone recognised wiser than oneself."
What guff. Here at Vulture Central we subscribe to the Somerset Maugham school of thought, which says that the ability to quote is merely a "serviceable substitute for wit". With that in mind, we present for your enjoyment a selection of 2007's greatest public statements.
Yes, it's that time of year when the thundering torrent of news becomes a pathetic trickle, and most would be too drunk to care if Google and Microsoft merged anyway.
We've done illustrations and everything. You might call it filler - we couldn't possibly comment.
Our list is neither comprehensive nor scientific. If you've got your own favourite clangers from this year, feel free as ever to deface our comments section.
To the chunter bunker!
"Those will be good acquisitions, and they're important to us. And they're of strategic importance."
Steve "On The" Ballmer, on the 20 unidentified web companies Microsoft is planning to buy every year for the next five years.
"There’s a faddishness, a faddish nature about anything that basically appeals to younger people."
"I would like to say that accessibility for Linux users is EXACTLY the same issue as accessibility for those with disabilities."
"Lee" (not pictured), giving a remarkably candid assessment of his computer use commenting on BBC tech chief Ashley Highfield's blog. Highfield argued that the Linux iPlayer should be a low priority because of the OS's small number of desktop users.
"As a self-actualising media node, I welcome this redistribution of government funds from provincial luddites to new media 'creative' Sohoites... Ed Richards's initiative 'gets' new media on so many levels. Let's flashmob this bitch up to escape velocity."
Reg reader W Jackson's sarcastic submission to the consultation process for Ofcom's Public Service Publisher quango. Ofcom called it a "new media answer to a new media question". MPs preferred the description: "A cure for which there is no known disease."
"Frankly, the world wasn't 100 per cent ready for Windows Vista."
Microsoft VP Mike Sievert, explaining why everyone's still running and buying XP.
"Dude, I invented the friggin iPhone. Have you heard of it?"
Satirical blogger Fake Steve Jobs, who was eventually unmasked as Forbes journalist Dan Lyons. iPhone? Nope, never heard of it, guv.