Feeds

Presenting the inaugural Vulture Central Hall of Lame™

2007: Year of the dingbat

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

High performance access to file storage

Quotations It was the Greek dramatist Sophocles who once wrote: "A short saying often contains much wisdom."

And Marlene Dietrich said: "I love quotations because it is a joy to find thoughts one might have, beautifully expressed with much authority by someone recognised wiser than oneself."

Hmmm.

What guff. Here at Vulture Central we subscribe to the Somerset Maugham school of thought, which says that the ability to quote is merely a "serviceable substitute for wit". With that in mind, we present for your enjoyment a selection of 2007's greatest public statements.

Yes, it's that time of year when the thundering torrent of news becomes a pathetic trickle, and most would be too drunk to care if Google and Microsoft merged anyway.

We've done illustrations and everything. You might call it filler - we couldn't possibly comment.

Our list is neither comprehensive nor scientific. If you've got your own favourite clangers from this year, feel free as ever to deface our comments section.

To the chunter bunker!

"Those will be good acquisitions, and they're important to us. And they're of strategic importance."

Steve "On The" Ballmer, on the 20 unidentified web companies Microsoft is planning to buy every year for the next five years.

"There’s a faddishness, a faddish nature about anything that basically appeals to younger people."

Steve Ballmer on Facebook, shortly before paying $240m for 1.6 per cent of it.

"I would like to say that accessibility for Linux users is EXACTLY the same issue as accessibility for those with disabilities."

"Lee" (not pictured), giving a remarkably candid assessment of his computer use commenting on BBC tech chief Ashley Highfield's blog. Highfield argued that the Linux iPlayer should be a low priority because of the OS's small number of desktop users.

Nathan Barley

"As a self-actualising media node, I welcome this redistribution of government funds from provincial luddites to new media 'creative' Sohoites... Ed Richards's initiative 'gets' new media on so many levels. Let's flashmob this bitch up to escape velocity."

Reg reader W Jackson's sarcastic submission to the consultation process for Ofcom's Public Service Publisher quango. Ofcom called it a "new media answer to a new media question". MPs preferred the description: "A cure for which there is no known disease."

"Frankly, the world wasn't 100 per cent ready for Windows Vista."

Microsoft VP Mike Sievert, explaining why everyone's still running and buying XP.

"Dude, I invented the friggin iPhone. Have you heard of it?"

Satirical blogger Fake Steve Jobs, who was eventually unmasked as Forbes journalist Dan Lyons. iPhone? Nope, never heard of it, guv.

High performance access to file storage

More from The Register

next story
Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN
Reg reader snaps shot of touching tribute to Apple icon
Happy 40th Playmobil: Reg looks back at small, rude world of our favourite tiny toys
Little men straddle LOHAN, attend tiny G20 Summit... ah, sweet memories...
Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL
Bank: 'We are now safely patched.' Customers: 'You were using OpenSSL?'
Lego is the TOOL OF SATAN, thunders Polish priest
New minifigs like Monster Fighters are turning kids to the dark side
Dark SITH LORD 'Darth Vader' joins battle to rule, er, Ukraine
Only I can 'make an empire out of a republic' intones presidential candidate
Chinese company counters pollution by importing fresh air
Citizens line up for bags of that sweet, sweet mountain air
Google asks April Fools: Want a job? Be our 'Pokemon Master'
Mountain View is prankin' like it's 1999...
prev story

Whitepapers

Mainstay ROI - Does application security pay?
In this whitepaper learn how you and your enterprise might benefit from better software security.
Five 3D headsets to be won!
We were so impressed by the Durovis Dive headset we’ve asked the company to give some away to Reg readers.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Mobile application security study
Download this report to see the alarming realities regarding the sheer number of applications vulnerable to attack, as well as the most common and easily addressable vulnerability errors.