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US tech support outfit seeks pocket sniffer

Highly-specialised freelance gig

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Attention all IT freelancers with a couple of spare hours and a fully-functioning olfactory system: US tech support outfit Computer Assistant recently issued a request for a highly specialised onsite service:

SERVICE REQUEST # 1012646
REQUESTED BY: Pablo at Computer Assistant
REPLY TO: XXXX@computerassistant.com
JOB LOCATION: Austin, TX 78741

Client needs a tech onsite to sniff some pockets. Service is needed today before 3 pm. To be considered for this job: Please reply with your HOURLY BID (rate) and AVAILABILITY. We pay for time on-site (with a one hour minimum) and pro-rated hourly after that. Travel pay does not apply unless specifically arranged. We consider your rate, previous performance, skills, availability, and distance from client location before making our selection.

After our selection, you will be notified again by email if you have been awarded the job.

When service is complete, we MAIL A CHECK to your name and address you have posted online.

Lovely. Since Computer Assistant offers a helping hand to companies in all 50 US states, it should note that the sniffing of pockets is illegal in Maryland and Ohio, and is punishable by death in Mississippi. ®

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