Feeds

US tech support outfit seeks pocket sniffer

Highly-specialised freelance gig

Boost IT visibility and business value

Attention all IT freelancers with a couple of spare hours and a fully-functioning olfactory system: US tech support outfit Computer Assistant recently issued a request for a highly specialised onsite service:

SERVICE REQUEST # 1012646
REQUESTED BY: Pablo at Computer Assistant
REPLY TO: XXXX@computerassistant.com
JOB LOCATION: Austin, TX 78741

Client needs a tech onsite to sniff some pockets. Service is needed today before 3 pm. To be considered for this job: Please reply with your HOURLY BID (rate) and AVAILABILITY. We pay for time on-site (with a one hour minimum) and pro-rated hourly after that. Travel pay does not apply unless specifically arranged. We consider your rate, previous performance, skills, availability, and distance from client location before making our selection.

After our selection, you will be notified again by email if you have been awarded the job.

When service is complete, we MAIL A CHECK to your name and address you have posted online.

Lovely. Since Computer Assistant offers a helping hand to companies in all 50 US states, it should note that the sniffing of pockets is illegal in Maryland and Ohio, and is punishable by death in Mississippi. ®

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

More from The Register

next story
MEN WANTED to satisfy town full of yearning BRAZILIAN HOTNESS
'Prettier, better organised, more harmonious than if men were in charge'
Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD
'Officers were unable to determine Chicken's intent'
Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?
Local UK gov outs most ridiculous FoI requests...
Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!
Put it away boys. Cover them up ladies. Your credit cards, we mean
Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people
They're a future source of RENEWABLE ENERGY
Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'
US court hears of cached browser image - not actual request
Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty
Sales of traditional brekkie foods soar as hungry folk get their mitts greasy
prev story

Whitepapers

Gartner critical capabilities for enterprise endpoint backup
Learn why inSync received the highest overall rating from Druva and is the top choice for the mobile workforce.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Rethinking backup and recovery in the modern data center
Combining intelligence, operational analytics, and automation to enable efficient, data-driven IT organizations using the HP ABR approach.
Consolidation: The Foundation for IT Business Transformation
In this whitepaper learn how effective consolidation of IT and business resources can enable multiple, meaningful business benefits.
Next gen security for virtualised datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.