Feeds

US tech support outfit seeks pocket sniffer

Highly-specialised freelance gig

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

Attention all IT freelancers with a couple of spare hours and a fully-functioning olfactory system: US tech support outfit Computer Assistant recently issued a request for a highly specialised onsite service:

SERVICE REQUEST # 1012646
REQUESTED BY: Pablo at Computer Assistant
REPLY TO: XXXX@computerassistant.com
JOB LOCATION: Austin, TX 78741

Client needs a tech onsite to sniff some pockets. Service is needed today before 3 pm. To be considered for this job: Please reply with your HOURLY BID (rate) and AVAILABILITY. We pay for time on-site (with a one hour minimum) and pro-rated hourly after that. Travel pay does not apply unless specifically arranged. We consider your rate, previous performance, skills, availability, and distance from client location before making our selection.

After our selection, you will be notified again by email if you have been awarded the job.

When service is complete, we MAIL A CHECK to your name and address you have posted online.

Lovely. Since Computer Assistant offers a helping hand to companies in all 50 US states, it should note that the sniffing of pockets is illegal in Maryland and Ohio, and is punishable by death in Mississippi. ®

Security for virtualized datacentres

More from The Register

next story
Facebook's Zuckerberg in EBOLA VIRUS FIGHT: Billionaire battles bug
US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention contacted as site supremo coughs up
Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future
We feel obliged to point out the headline statement is total, utter cobblers
Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy
'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)
Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
FedEx helps deliver THOUSANDS of spam messages DIRECT to its Blighty customers
Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on
Swiss wildlife park serves up furry residents to visitors
'It's ecological' says spokesman, now how would you like your Bambi done?
The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event
Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants
Baaaaaa! Fanny's Farm's woolly flock is high, maaaaaan
Red Bull does NOT give you wings, $13.5m lawsuit says so
Website letting consumers claim $10 cash back crashes after stampede
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Cloud and hybrid-cloud data protection for VMware
Learn how quick and easy it is to configure backups and perform restores for VMware environments.
Three 1TB solid state scorchers up for grabs
Big SSDs can be expensive but think big and think free because you could be the lucky winner of one of three 1TB Samsung SSD 840 EVO drives that we’re giving away worth over £300 apiece.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.