BBC pinches hot new columnist from Microsoft
Sizzling secrets with Billy G
Bill Gates has used his own column at the BBC to unlock the secrets of how you too can become an unimaginably wealthy nerd whose sperm is craved by Chinese women.
You can read the full recipe here. It's insightful stuff, as the Microsoft chairman - who's being put out to stud next year - spreads his nuggets of wisdom before us.
But what set him on the road to genius Valhalla? "When I was pretty young, I picked up the habit of reading lots of books." Are you writing this down at the back?
The musings are timed to coincide with MS-backed groundbreaking report that reveals that there isn't enough science and technology talent in the UK. "Today and in the future, many of the jobs with the greatest impact will be related to software," Bill explains.
He writes: "If you look at the most interesting things that have emerged in the last decade - whether it is cool things like portable music devices [the Zune] and video games [Xbox] or more practical things like smart phones [Windows Mobile] and medical technology [his flying monkey cloning and cyrogenics bunker] - they all come from the realm of science and engineering."
Mandela-like humility, and a democratic approach to innovation are the keystones of his formula for fortune. "Software innovation, like almost every other kind of innovation, requires the ability to collaborate and share ideas with other people, and to sit down and talk with customers and get their feedback and understand their needs."
"Communication skills and the ability to work well with different types of people are very important," he adds. Bill Gates is, of course, a legendary raconteur.
In response to the BBC's move into business leader
PR expert opinion, El Reg has decided to up the ante with a special video webinar on the secrets of success from the important leather-bound office of one of America's A-grade entrepreneurs:
In conclusion: Any fool can quit. Don't be a fool. Stay in school. ®
@ Slain's Nice Red Coat
Just hang it over the back of that "comfy chair" ;)
@ Homer's Odyssey
"Your chief weapons to succeed are science skills and curiosity ... and fear. You have *three* weapons to succeed - science skills, curiosity, fear and surprise. Amongst your weaponry are such diverse elements as: science skills, curiosity, fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope and a nice red uniform."
I just wet myself at that. Really wasn't expecting it. Now then, where shall I hang this nice red coat?
Gates talks a lot, but says nothing
Good grief! He even has his own *column* now. The MSBBC has obviously given up even *pretending* that they're impartial; they might as well make the "MSBBC" name official.
As for Pearly's "illuminating" little speech, I found Mr. T's version rather less condescending by comparison. Pearly has a real talent for stating the obvious, and taking far to long to say absolutely nothing.
. Almost everyone works with computers
. Almost everyone works with computers (rephrased)
. Gives examples of who "everyone" is
. You need computer skills to succeed
. You need computer skills to succeed (rephrased)
. Oh, and maths and science ("and"? ... maths *is* a science)
. The most interesting things come from science
. There are many job opportunities in software
. Software engineering is not a solitary endeavour
. To write software you need specifications
. To learn, you should read lots of books
. But getting information from the Internet is easier
. Having curiosity helps you succeed
So the executive executive summary is:
Almost everyone (e.g. store clerks) works with computers, therefore you need science skills to succeed. Science produces interesting things and many jobs, including software engineers who need to work in a team, and acquire specifications to do their jobs properly. If you have curiosity to learn these skills by reading books and browsing the Web, then maybe you will succeed. Nobody expects success. Your chief weapons to succeed are science skills and curiosity ... and fear. You have *three* weapons to succeed - science skills, curiosity, fear and surprise. Amongst your weaponry are such diverse elements as: science skills, curiosity, fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope and a nice red uniform.
Executive executive executive summary:
. You need science skills and curiosity to succeed.
He forgot some important ones, like:
. Water is wet
. The Pope is Catholic
. Never stick your fingers into a live electrical socket
. The capitol of Nebraska is Lincoln [*]
[*] Couldn't resist the old "Kentucky Fried Movie" quip.
Not much other than "Bob". We all know how far THAT went!
This is about your company using Share Point and Office 2008 on Windows Vista with Windows 2008 Server Edition running Exchange 2008 and allowing you to collaborate with another company who, sensibly, is also using Share Point and Office 2008...
This is NOT about collaborating between Notes, Office and KOffice (nor, even, really about collaberation between Office 2008 and Office 98 that had everything that the commercial world wanted in an Office suite) and that is where you misread it.
'course MS hope everyone else will misread it too and figure "well, MS have tried to prodice OOXML, it took 6000 pages, so it MUST be good and they have said here in black and white that they want open collaberation. So when they call ODF in a heap, they must have something valid..."