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Knickerless celebutards: the secure data centre connection

Discarded panties threaten national security

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The champagne corks are popping this morning down at Vulture Central because, after years of trying, we've finally found a rock-solid link between IT and knickerless celebutards:

View of data centre showing pair of knickers on floor

For the record, the panties in question were spotted by a reader in a well-known London data centre. Our man says that the premises are protected by swipe cards, voice recognition, palm scanners, ex-special forces operatives armed with Tasers, Japanese-built killbots, three electified razor-wire fences, and a miniature helicopter gunship packing intruder-frying microwave weaponry.

Accordingly, we must ask: how did either Britney, Lindsay, or Paris gain entry to this most secure of facilities; what level of threat did the penetration pose to national security; and why has the CCTV footage not yet appeared on the YouTube celebrity upskirt channel?

We have, of course, made our dossier available to the relevant authorities and selected lingerie fetish websites. ®

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Latest Comments

Query about environmental conditions

How many "Hiltons" was the server room at when the offending (sic) items were found?

Clearly the size of the "item" in nanoWales could provide a clue....

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[much too much nog for breakfast today.....................I need to clear my mind]

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server names

Someone probably named one of the servers knickers (I once named one pants).

then said "knickers down" meaning the servers crashed. The poor girl misunderstood.

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It can't be...

any of the celebutards you mentioned. There is more cloth in that one pair than would be found in the entire knicker collection of all three combined.

Not only that, but the area ofg cloth, measured in square meters is grater than the sum of three of their IQ's.

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