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Wigan man traps todger in metal ring

Cue fire brigade bearing handgrinder

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

A Wigan man narrowly avoided having his penis amputated after getting the end of it wedged in a "metal ring", Wigan Today reports.

The unnamed chap, in his 40s, was whisked to Wigan Infirmary's A&E department just after midnight on Wednesday carrying the extra hardware which "appeared to be cut off from the end of a pipe". Docs tried in vain to remove the ring, but "the hospital's ring cutter equipment could not saw through the hard metal".

Sawbones feared the man might lose his todger since "the ring appeared to be cutting off the blood supply, causing a large amount of swelling". Two firemen from Wigan Fire Station were quickly called in bearing a mini handgrinder, "normally used to cut through padlocks", and they set to work.

The man was anaesthetised, the firefighters positioned "a thin sheet of metal around the penis underneath the ring to protect the skin" and after about 20 minutes he was released.

Wigan Today offers no explanation as to how the patient came to get his spam javelin stuck in a section of metal pipe, but does say that a Wigan Infirmary spokesman felt "unable to comment". ®

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