Feeds

Wigan man traps todger in metal ring

Cue fire brigade bearing handgrinder

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

A Wigan man narrowly avoided having his penis amputated after getting the end of it wedged in a "metal ring", Wigan Today reports.

The unnamed chap, in his 40s, was whisked to Wigan Infirmary's A&E department just after midnight on Wednesday carrying the extra hardware which "appeared to be cut off from the end of a pipe". Docs tried in vain to remove the ring, but "the hospital's ring cutter equipment could not saw through the hard metal".

Sawbones feared the man might lose his todger since "the ring appeared to be cutting off the blood supply, causing a large amount of swelling". Two firemen from Wigan Fire Station were quickly called in bearing a mini handgrinder, "normally used to cut through padlocks", and they set to work.

The man was anaesthetised, the firefighters positioned "a thin sheet of metal around the penis underneath the ring to protect the skin" and after about 20 minutes he was released.

Wigan Today offers no explanation as to how the patient came to get his spam javelin stuck in a section of metal pipe, but does say that a Wigan Infirmary spokesman felt "unable to comment". ®

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

More from The Register

next story
Apple CEO Tim Cook: My well-known gayness is 'a gift from GOD'
'I have benefited from the sacrifice of others'
MEN: For pity's sake SLEEP with LOTS of WOMEN - and avoid Prostate Cancer
And, um, don't sleep with other men. If that's what worries you
Jim Beam me up, Scotty! WHISKY from SPAAACE returns to Earth
They're insured for $1m, before you thirsty folks make plans
Now: The REAL APPLE NEWS you need to know
OMG! Gravity's totes amazeballs. Calm down, George Clooney, not your film
Boffins who stare at goats: I do believe they’re SHRINKING
Alpine chamois being squashed by global warming
Let's make an app that POSTS your POO to APPLE HQ
Plus: It's OPEN WARFARE in the Linux greybeard world
Adorkable overshare of words like photobomb in this year's dictionaries
And hipsters are finally defined as self-loathing. Sort of
Not a loyal follower of @BritishMonarchy? You missed The QUEEN*'s first Tweet
Her Maj opens 'Information Age' at the Science Museum
prev story

Whitepapers

Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
Getting started with customer-focused identity management
Learn why identity is a fundamental requirement to digital growth, and how without it there is no way to identify and engage customers in a meaningful way.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile
Data demand and the rise of virtualization is challenging IT teams to deliver storage performance, scalability and capacity that can keep up, while maximizing efficiency.
Protecting against web application threats using SSL
SSL encryption can protect server‐to‐server communications, client devices, cloud resources, and other endpoints in order to help prevent the risk of data loss and losing customer trust.