Fucking awesome! Good work guys!

... but they said it didnt work like that, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.

that I'd ever want Santa discharging his sack in my bedroom.

12. managing to put as many innuendos into one santa related article aka 'santas discharging sack' but top marks to 'fingering britney'

13. slapping the person who manages to come up with point 99..

Saying "wheres the IT Angle?" anywhere on the Reg!

Being Bill Gates...

<form method="get" action="coat">

<input type="submit" value="I can't believe I'm sad enough to do this properly...">

</form>

Amy Whinehouse on the list?

I got presents for em. The wages of sin is death ,but after taxes it's just a tired feeling.

loudly pontificating about one's strong moral values (and running a socially conservative political campaign), though one has the character of a starving New York city rat, the compassion of a snapper turtle, the power drive of Genghis Khan, and the political philosophy that would cause Benito Mussolini to shrug knowingly and say "Well, of course his name is Rudolph Giuliani, best of both worlds, no?"

http://www.usatoday.com/news/politics/election2008/2007-11-28-giuliani-bills_N.htm

someone is due a lump of coal, but we need it to power the electric grid, so maybe we should just convert him to biodiesel instead?

I thought I was the only sick preverted and twisted individual who did a double take on this line

"Regarding just how to impress Santa into discharging his sack in your bedroom, the young"

Particularly as I thought of Spears or hilton as being dressed (or down) as Saint knickerless

Reg hacks who don't allow comments on their pages -- c'mon look at all the fun you're missing, Andy!

Too...many...double....entendres...need....to...lie...down. Far....too....many....scary...images....in...head....

I think I'd sooner have a lump of coal that fat bearded pie eating slave drivers Semen sprayed around my bedroom.

These children are being encouraged to share by this 'Father' Christmas.

Does the RIAA know about this.

Cosying up to the punters again eh Lester? ;-)

"how to impress Santa into discharging his sack in your bedroom"

Literary Genius!

This article would have been so much better with pictures (of Paris and Britney, not of santa discharing his sack please!)

Chris

Ah yet, I must put up some more Britney specials on fleabay. "Buy Britney's underwear as worn for night out ....etc". All I need is a few empty envelopes.

Since when was failing to qualify for Euro 2008 a bad thing? Now people will be able to go and do useful things next summer and the BBC won't feel compelled to spend licence-payers' money on covering the event.

Since when was failing to qualify for Euro 2008 a bad thing?

May you receive the full content of Santa's sack !

"oh no, you said IT..."

"shit, now I said IT..."

"I said IT again..."

"I can't stop saying IT!..."

thanks, mine's the one hanging on the shrubbery...

HO HO HO. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR CHRISTMAS INSIGNIFICANT BEING?

HO HO HO.

well said!

What makes you think the Beeb and/or ITV haven't already spent the money on broadcasting rights? I bet they're crapping their pants now.

And I'd like a drunken knickerless strumpet in my stocking, please

Lester, absolutely brilliant, I nearly fell off my chair laughing.

40 (ish): Accepting illegal bribes, oops - sorry - DONATIONS from undisclosed sources.