Feeds

MS Explorer foundering after UFO strike

Flagship crashes, freezes after unknown vuln penetration

Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction

The IT world was electrified this morning at reports that MS Explorer was foundering and expected to sink without trace shortly, possibly due to a UFO attack.

Alternative theories suggested that the well-known piece of kit - described by the Daily Mail as "one of the best-known... in the world" - had suffered disabling crashes and freezes after a risky attempt to move into new areas exposed previously unknown vulnerabilites.

The company behind MS Explorer issued a statement saying that it was in severe trouble after collision with "an unknown object... Explorer’s [attributes] allow... access [to] places that other [technical platforms] can not visit and she has set many other firsts... passengers and crew have taken to the lifeboats... the captain and his first officer are still aboard ..."

At least one news outlet chose the headline:

Explorer listing badly after hitting UFO

Oh, all right then. It's Motor Ship (or Motor Vessel) Explorer which is sinking in the Antarctic, not Microsoft's business model or anything. And it's an unidentified floating object, possibly an iceberg - though the ship had been doing ice cruises for a long time, so it might well have been a floating container or some such.

Everyone's all right, apparently. Including Cap'n Bill and First Mate Ballmer, who is no doubt busy rearranging the deckchairs. ®

Top three mobile application threats

More from The Register

next story
Och aye! It's the Loch Ness Monster – but only Apple fanbois can see it
Fondleslab-friendly beastie's wake spotted... OR WAS IT?
Japanese boffin EYES up big bucks with strap-on digi-glasses
AgencyGlass saddles user with creepy OLED display
Sleuths find nosy NORKS drones on the Chinternet
UAVs likely to have been made in the Middle Kingdom
Spanish village called 'Kill the Jews' mulls rebranding exercise
Not exactly attractive to the Israeli tourist demographic
Dorian Nakamoto gets $23,000 payout over Bitcoin invention saga
Maintains he didn't create cryptocurrency, but will join community
Pirate Bay's 10 millionth upload: Colour us shocked, a SMUT FLICK
P2P badboys show online piracy is alive and humping
Teen girl arrested with 70-year-old man's four inch weapon inside her
Charged with introducing .22 snubbie to penile facility. It wasn't firing blanks
Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL
Bank: 'We are now safely patched.' Customers: 'You were using OpenSSL?'
Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN
Reg reader snaps shot of touching tribute to Apple icon
prev story

Whitepapers

Securing web applications made simple and scalable
In this whitepaper learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Mainstay ROI - Does application security pay?
In this whitepaper learn how you and your enterprise might benefit from better software security.
Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.