El Reg is really Fark in disguise, I've worked it out AICMFP

...what should Santa say if, in best Xmas tradition, three prostitutues turn up?

Thats the Green Giant screwed then...

..although why anyone wants to eat sweetcorn is beyond me.

Intentionally left blank.

I'd be offering that Sari person an early Christmas gift of a budget cut equal to their salary.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

"But ... what should Santa say if, in best Xmas tradition, three prostitutes turn up?"

Hello girls! Now, who'd like to sit in Santa's lap!

Now if they were to say "Ho, Ho, Mo' Fo' Ho' " Then yes, offensive.

Also if they were to laugh in a Christopher Lee, Hammer Horror - esque ... MwaHaHaHa. Then lots of extra laundry needed for the little chilblains.

It's a sad state we live in where causing offence is considered such a crime that even possible misinterpretations.are feared and become newsworthy.

Bah Humbug !

(I meant that in a totally inclusive, non-threatening, equal opportunities, easy access, respectful of your beliefs way, of course)

I always thought that Santas summer job was as the Green Giant. The 'Ho Ho Ho' gave it away for me! In Winter, he gives out presents. In Summer, he picks corn.

Santa should be banned anyway. Grown up men bouncing little children up and down on their lap and giving them presents, promising more presents when they 'break in' to their house on Christmas Eve. Too dodgy for me. Ban them!

--- Grump old sod

The Wizard of Oz doesn't quite work with

Ha Ha Ha, lady of negotiable affection,lady of negotiable affection,lady of negotiable affection and a couple of tra la la's

Coat, door as per rule 8

...is that someone hears the phrase "ho ho ho" from a man in a Santa suit and their first thought is "three whores".

"But ... what should Santa say if, in best Xmas tradition, three prostitutes turn up?"

ho ho ho blow

It's right there, in the headline, folks. How could everyone else miss it?

Martin

P. S. I have a perverted computer. Every once in a while, it develops a short circuit, and it blows a fuse!

Although, to be fair, where does Santa fit into Winterval anyway? I thought Winterval was a time to celebrate Harry Potter.

Fire up the barbie and down another stubby

None of the kids will take them seriously any more, and they'll never get a job in Blighty. Hardly makes it worth doing any more.

You mean there are FAKE santas in the shop grottoes!!!

I always thought there was only one Santa and he had to do some kind of magic to be all over the place at the same time.

Please tell me it's not so...

(remainder of headline removed to prevent plagiarism lawsuit from Daily Mail).

Shoot them and burn the bodies, using the Lighthouse Family as kindling.

Bearing gifts we traverse afar

Santa turned up in a tinted-window vehicle and emerged wearing a long coat and toting a pimp-stick.

there is a serious point to be made here. By running from these issues we are slowly surrendering our language to the gutter - if these people *really* cared they would be going out and deliberately using this (or any other) phrase to reclaim it from the moronic, illiterate l337spk generation which is arising on both sides of the Atlantic.

Instead they are just running scared ...

Aussies love the old egg-bothering so is their federation or league whatever gonna ban the use of the word hooker cos it sounds like the slang for prostitute as well? If you ask me rugby is one of the most ridiculous sports going after gridlock or whatever they play in america but it has served it's purpose here

Looks like B&Q will be changing the name of some of their stock soon to.

Even out your garden with our premium ha.

What are hoes used for anyway? I don't have a garden, so it's mere curiosity...

Can't they just ban the yanks from using the term ho for anything other than its original meanings?

Can't be 'hee hee hee'... That's sexist... it would have to be 'person person person'

Hmm seem to have lost my medication

What next? Bans on using the correct terms for female dogs, cattle and small jam-filled pastry cases because they are also insulting to women?

And what about this place:-

http://www.streetmap.co.uk/streetmap.dll?G2M?X=243625&Y=129290&A=Y&Z=3

Its about time we rounded up all of the politically correct Thought Police, stuck them all in a field and bombed the crap out of them.

Let's start listing "Politician", "Lawyer/Solicitor" and "Banker" as offensive words. If enough of us complain they are offensive we could sue each of them and become multi-millionaires.

I didn't know a ho, hoe, or whatever referered to a derogatory categorisation of a minority (yet age old and apparently socially useful) group of humans. Who decided this? Let me know and I'll tell them about my list, as above, and start the civil redress procedure.

Anyone else care to join?

Ho Ho Ho, Ho Ho Ho, Ho Ho Ho, FFS, Ho Ho Ho

ho ho ho ho!

That's the most stupid thing I've heard in a long time... hilarious.

But in any case, I think Santa Claus should be banned from the world and all memorabilia related to that son of a... female dog... should be burned and the ashes dumped in space...

posted anonymously: I don't want Marley's ghost and the Ghost of Christmas Past know who I am

the americans should be going bannans about the 'ho, ho, ho' situation...

Incendently, there is a food product by the name of Ho Hos in the US of A shouldn't this be renamed also? (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ho_Hos)

Calm yourself, dear festively challenged peep.

There is a logical and totally plausible explanation. In the olden days, before digital watches and Eastenders, there were very few good little children and all the present wrapping and deliveries could be performed by a single solitary Father Christmas. (Santa is an evil Coca Cola invention - follow only the TRUE father christams). But as the global population grew so too the demand (and I do mean DEMAND) for presents increased. Fortunately, due to a slip up in the temporal genetics laboratory up in the north pole where a brand new father christmas appears every single year. Te original plan was to "refresh" FC by replacing him but the recall command for the "outgoing" FC was overlooked and so instead there is an extra FC to help make and deliver, every single year. Of course this still doesn't account for all the huge numbers of really complex "toys" that the average "child" now expects FC to generate, nor indeed the fact that the average child is only "good" enough to qualify for a satsuma and a rubber pencil... but a century or two ago, one of the FC clones came up with the brilliant idea of enlisting the help of elves.

I hope this helps. Now please... STFU about Christmas until December.

And what about this place...?

http://www.streetmap.co.uk/newmap.srf?x=432771&y=1153659&z=3&sv=twatt&st=3&tl=Twatt,+Shetland+[Town]&searchp=newsearch.srf&mapp=newmap.srf

you have to be kidding. this is a joke.. ha ha ha i think would be scary.. why? why do people have to pull this stuff come on i would love to meet the person that has a problem with ho ho ho.. now then you will have to make sure you don't buy anything with ho ho ho? why do people need to make problems why? leave santa alone with his ho ho ho.. how many years has this been going on? no you want to change it.. sounds like the church to me.. time to change the rules. kma

http://www.kraftmstr.com/christmas/humor/pcsanta.html

I was going to suggest 'Woe,woe,woe' instead but then his reindeers wouldn't move I suppose.

What term for a small jam-filled pastry could possibly be offensive to women?

What is the world comming to!

I remember when we used to be able to make all our own "it's political correctness gone mad & it's ruining Christmas" stories.

Now we have to import them from places like china & australia.

Is there no-one left who can hand-craft a story like this out of some sticky-backed plastic & a toilet roll?

Ha ha ha = laughing at a little kid and demoralising it

Ho ho ho = whore whore whore

Hee hee hee = laughing again at the kid

Hu hu hu = santa is now an owl

Hi hi hi = ultra confusingly hello hello hello

Nothing I like more than a Custard Tart, except possibly a couple of tarts wrestling in custard!