Lindsay Lohan in 84-minute jail ordeal
Fails to break Nicole Richie's short-stay record
Befreckled thespiatrix Lindsay Lohan has failed to break the "shortest celebutard porridge" record after spending a harrowing 84 minutes in jail for drunk driving and possession of Bolivian marching powder - two minutes longer than Nicole Richie served for a similar pissed-behind-the-wheel conviction.
Lohan, 21, who was sentenced back in August to one day's slammertime, was "searched before being put in a holding cell at the Los Angeles County jail", the BBC reports. Sheriff's spokesman Steve Whitmore descibed the talented redhead as "cooperative", and denied she'd been given special treatment.
He insisted: "Absolutely not. This is what we do for mostly everybody in this position. In fact, 30 to 50 women are granted early releases from the facility every day."
Legal experts suggest that if popular Lohan can't better Richie's breathtaking "get out of jail fast" time, it's unlikely anyone ever will. ®
Yeah, I've had a few of those in my time, too.
Most of them were drunk like Lohan too.
("Most" came out first time round like "Moist" thanks to a typo, so that sentence could have ended up entirely different...)
And liberty and justice...
...for those who can afford it.
...unless you have enough money to escape aformentioned justice.
I love the guys comment that they release 30-50 early every day...
Oh, so the double standard isn't that you go easy on celebrities, it's that you go easy on women. Yeah, that's much better. Wankers.
Call me ignorant, but..
...who the fuck is this Lindsay Lohan woman?
She's famous for what exactly?