Feeds

Woman chews on chap's todger in fast food joint

Swede declines oral sex, ends up on the menu

Intelligent flash storage arrays

NSFW A 22-year-old Swedish woman has been found guilty of "assault and sexual harassment" for tucking into a stranger's penis after he declined her offer of a swift BJ, The Local reports

The incident took place in March at a fast food outlet in Falköping. The unnamed assailant "approached the man and asked him several times if he would like her to perform oral sex on him". He turned down her kind offer, then "kept trying to reason with her as he turned his body away from her advances".

Evidently desperate for some fast food, she quickly "pulled his trousers down and sank her teeth into one side of his penis" and "scratched him in the face" for good measure.

The woman admitted to Skaraborg District Court she'd been "very much under the influence of alcohol and did not remember having set foot in the fast food restaurant". The court said the credibility of the victim's story was supported by the fact it was so unusual the judges "did not believe he had made it up". He also had a witness, snaps of the wounded member and a doctor's note confirming the injuries.

The assailant was slapped with a suspended sentence, fined 80 days' wages and ordered to pay her attempted lunch 11,600 kronor (£895) in damages. ®

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

More from The Register

next story
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
Bible THUMP: Good Book beats Darwin to most influential tome title
Folio Society crowns fittest of surviving volumes
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
U wot? Silicon Roundabout set to become Silicon U-BEND
Crap-spouting London upstarts to get permanent road closure
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT
Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned
Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM
First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT
prev story

Whitepapers

Why and how to choose the right cloud vendor
The benefits of cloud-based storage in your processes. Eliminate onsite, disk-based backup and archiving in favor of cloud-based data protection.
Getting started with customer-focused identity management
Learn why identity is a fundamental requirement to digital growth, and how without it there is no way to identify and engage customers in a meaningful way.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Reducing the cost and complexity of web vulnerability management
How using vulnerability assessments to identify exploitable weaknesses and take corrective action can reduce the risk of hackers finding your site and attacking it.
Saudi Petroleum chooses Tegile storage solution
A storage solution that addresses company growth and performance for business-critical applications of caseware archive and search along with other key operational systems.