Feeds

Lifelike, sexy robot infiltrators influence Belgian mobs

And so it begins

Remote control for virtualized desktops

Brussels boffins have finally cracked one of the most elusive and long-sought of all technology achievements - that of deploying lifelike robot agent provocateur infiltrators using realistic sex pheromones to influence mass psychology.

In this case, the population to be manipulated by droid love agents was a group of cockroaches residing at the Free University of Brussels, rather than the inhabitants of present-day Los Angeles*. For now.

Apparently Dr José Halloy, a top Belgian robot cockroach sex pheromone mob-psychology researcher, wanted to see if a few droid impostors could influence large groups living in democratic societies. (According to the New York Times.) Seemingly he had little interest in stratified, hierarchical polities like those of ants, bees, communist China, Britain etc.

“Cockroaches are not like that,” said the robo-roach quisling boffin overlord.

“They live all together.”

Halloy and his team figured to mould the opinion of the meritocratic, classless arthropod disease-carrying pests. To this end, they fashioned a force of facsimile droid sleeper agents.

Fortunately cockroach eyesight isn't good, and the refuse-gobbling multilegged rabble were easily taken in by undercover mechanoids more reminiscent of small golf buggies than actual bugs. The only thing necessary to complete the imposture, according to the Times, was a quick squirt of "eau de cockroach sex hormones".

Having been welcomed by the roach hordes, Halloy's mechanical traitors were soon able to influence their unsuspecting insect dupes into doing things obviously contrary to their own welfare. The Belgian fifth-columnist puppetmasters didn't push it too hard - they weren't able to get the roaches to commit suicide, for instance - but it was easy to make them do things they found uncomfortable and worrying, like a human being voting for an obviously insane megalomaniac.

According to the Times, Halloy now plans to see if he can subvert chickens using larger droids.

Sure - chickens.

“We are not interested in people,” he added, unconvincingly.

The research paper can be read here (subscription required). ®

*Memorably penetrated by saucy yet murderous mechanoid sexpot assassin Kristanna Loken in Terminator III, which now turns out to be a documentary film.

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

More from The Register

next story
Renewable energy 'simply WON'T WORK': Top Google engineers
Windmills, solar, tidal - all a 'false hope', say Stanford PhDs
SEX BEAST SEALS may be egging each other on to ATTACK PENGUINS
Boffin: 'I think the behaviour is increasing in frequency'
HUMAN DNA 'will be FOUND ON MOON' – rockin' boffin Brian Cox
Crowdfund plan to stimulate Blighty's space programme
Post-pub nosh neckfiller: The MIGHTY Scotch egg
Off to the boozer? This delicacy might help mitigate the effects
I'M SO SORRY, sobs Rosetta Brit boffin in 'sexist' sexy shirt storm
'He is just being himself' says proud mum of larger-than-life physicist
NASA launches new climate model at SC14
75 days of supercomputing later ...
Britain's HUMAN DNA-strewing Moon mission rakes in £200k
3 days, and Kickstarter moves lander 37% nearer takeoff
prev story

Whitepapers

Why and how to choose the right cloud vendor
The benefits of cloud-based storage in your processes. Eliminate onsite, disk-based backup and archiving in favor of cloud-based data protection.
Getting started with customer-focused identity management
Learn why identity is a fundamental requirement to digital growth, and how without it there is no way to identify and engage customers in a meaningful way.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Reducing the cost and complexity of web vulnerability management
How using vulnerability assessments to identify exploitable weaknesses and take corrective action can reduce the risk of hackers finding your site and attacking it.
Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile
Data demand and the rise of virtualization is challenging IT teams to deliver storage performance, scalability and capacity that can keep up, while maximizing efficiency.