Put me in for a monkey butler right away. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em!

I would never eat dinner at your place.

Why would I be reading El Reg if I wanted that?

...for a certain Mr Karl Pilkington?

If they were cloning orangutans it would have to be ook-sight

Hat, coat etc...

land of the monkeys

... huge armies of invincible clone soldiers - even monkey ones

Not really practical. If you want to win a battle, just chuck a bunch of bannanas at the advancing horde. Then watch as they drop their weapons and tuck into lunch.

Also, how would you get them to fight in a desert - there aren't any trees for them to swing through.

If I was going to create an army of genetically engineered/cloned animals, I'd choose pigeons and mess with their DNA so they crap high-exposive. Not only could they dive-bomb the enemy (provided they were only monkeys) but training them as kamikaze "missiles" could bring down aircraft.

groan.... molecular biologist puns are teh worst!

@Pete: Don't think your pigeons are invulnerable. Monkeys are famed for their poo-flinging abilities, so once we've cracked the basic problem of genetically-engineered hi-ex dung, your dive bombers can expect to receive a lot of flak, incoming!

At that point, throwing bananas to us would just be like handing over free ammo!

or, the poo, as it were. Howard Tayler for Teh Win:

http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20010719.html

One thing is for certain: there is no stopping them; the monkeys will soon be here. And I for one welcome our new monkey overlords.

... Welcome our new high-explosive poo flinging cloned monkey butler overlords.

Down the monkey butler overlords and their high-explosive poo! Down the bloody pigeons as well!

It's all a plot of the scum in the Animal Rights movement, no doubt. If only we could decrypt their files - or is it decrap their piles?

Whatever, gd&r

After all, the USA has already produced a monkey President. Well, part chimp, part jackass, apparently, but still...

There's something a-peel-ing about a bunch of monkeys.

Even in little tuxedo coats and serving banana daquris at your local cabana bar.

Hrmm... can we do gorillas, too? A bar could use the heavy labor/bouncers for chimp change...

if(coat == TRUE) {exit;}

Just a thought, but if monkeys are engineered to be smart enough to buttle that would probably put them sufficiently far up the IQ curve of society ( over halfway going by observation of some current members of society) to entitle them to some kind of civil rights. Obviously that will be followed by legislated terms of employment and protection from being exploited, then we will be back at square one!

Let's just get the space race going again and enslave some martians.

And as far as the Paris Hilton connection is concerned, it is down my trousers waiting for Paris.

nuff said.

Bloody clones... they're all the same.

Now that I can get macaque cloned, i wonder if i could also get it enlarged?

Hat ... coat

Morely Dotes spoke thusly

"After all, the USA has already produced a monkey President. Well, part chimp, part jackass, apparently, but still..."

Worse yet, they're trying to elect his wife president...

Macaques are theiving little buggers,they'll take anything they can lay mitts on. Just think, they are gunna clone em, George Dubya will be the chief big banana, he'll send the theiving lil buggers into the middle east, and all they'll do is advance up the scale to theiving cars n doing drive-by's with their explosive turds.

I can see it all now, to deflect attention from the Iraq Macaque debarkle, the president will appear on the tonight Show riding a unicycle.

At least the C++ monkey may be a thing of reallity, I hear it can manage object-oriented programming,Visual C++, even some Java .... There's always a tech angle on ALL of El Reg's stuff if u just read between the lines.

I think these people have finished dry cleaning my coat now...

What we need is explosive Poo flinging Monkeys, riding pigeons. The ultimate clone war combo.

You, dear Sir, scare the living crap out of me.

is a way to clone typewriters.