Tesco slaps cutlery ban on under-18s
'Age restrictions apply to this product'
We're delighted to report this morning that supermarket monolith Tesco - famous for its cut-price Xbox 360 offer - is doing its bit to combat the degeneration of Blighty into a lawless land a la Democratic Republic of Congo in which rival bands of jenkem-crazed hoodies battle each other in the smouldering ruins of UK society.
Yes kids, let's make no mistake, if you're thinking of kicking off a rumble using cutlery, you won't be getting your 16-piece offensive weapon set from Tesco:
The above proscription is confirmed by a quick search for tableware, although chillingly there is nothing whatsoever to prevent hood rats from buying a "Tesco Wood Placemat & Coaster Set 8 Pack" with which to club decorated war veterans, making off with their pensions and spunking the lot on alcopops and gangsta ringtones. ®
ID for computer game
One of my friends was IDed in Tesco for a Computer Game ages 3+. He was 21 and wasn't impressed...
Reminds me of the Flight of the Conchords song "Think About it"
"Well, at the end of your life, you are lucky if you die
Sometimes I wonder why I would even try
I saw a man lying on the street half dead
He had knives and forks sticking out of his leg
He said, Ahh ahh ahh ahhhhhhhhwww
Can somebody get the knife and fork out of my leg, please
Ooh, could somebody please remove these cutleries from my knees "
Asda has had an age restriction on under 18s for nine months now... This is just another example of Tesco promoting none news to make it look like they're the first fuckers to do it...