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Never use an internet translator to hire a gorilla

Butthash and flying cows inside

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Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Comments In a possible bid for Mum of the Year (or the intervention of social services, depending on your views on such things), a Nottinghamshire woman sent a stripper to her son's school for his 16th birthday. So stunned was the teacher that she allowed the show to continue, as the boy was whipped and led around on a leash, until the stripper urged the boy to rub cream on her buttocks. The birthday boy then fled the scene. His mother maintains that she intended to send a gorilla, which in itself raises worrying implications.

Thats not fair, that stuff never happened when I went to that school!!

Anthony Sims


at least the poor kid wasn't asked to rub whipped cream on the rear end of a guy in a gorilla suit.

Anonymous Coward

What? You mean that's not how everyone celebrates their 16th?

Does anyone have the number of a good therapist?


I feel sorry for the guy on his stag night that got the gorilla.

GrahamT


What I'm wondering is if the Gorilla was supposed to strip and they sent the wrong kind of stripper in error, rather than the wrong kind of act altogether.

Darren Burrows


"It apparently was enough for the honoured guest of this show, since he "ran out of the classroom while the stripper calmly packed her bag and left"."

Anyone who suggests that he ran to a toilet cubicle to rub one out while her image was still fresh in his mind is a filthy rumour-mongrel of the lowest order and I condemn them thoroughly.


A diplomatic brouhaha was sparked by the unwise use of an online translation engine by a group of Israeli journalists. Intending to ask the Dutch Foreign Minister about a trip to the Netherlands, they ended up sending him questions in broken English about "the sleeping arrangements of his mother". The Dutch Foreign Ministry is on the verge of filing a formal complaint, but just because they lack a sense of humour, that doesn't mean we have to:

Bwahaha! Oh, that is so grass! Turtle me a new newspaper, thought journalist BabelFish fodder 鞄 yourself.

yeah, right.


"Meanwhile, the poor Babel fish, by effectively removing all barriers between communications, has caused more and bloodier wars than anything else in existence."

- The Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy (1978)

How prophetic...

Guy Gregory


My hovercraft is full of eels.

Anonymous Coward


Well, put it simply, at least it has joking value. I used to share this piece of babelfish joke: whenever a chinese sentence contains the word "dry", it automatically becomes "f*ck" when spitted out from babelfish, because they happen to be the same word (though meaning is vastly different). So "dry beef" becomes "f*ck the cow meat" :-)

If you're going to watch Olympics in Beijing, and you happen to be lucky when ordering meal, you might still see this hilarious stuff in restaurant menu :-)

Abel


When Jimmy Carter visited Poland in the seventies his translator translated the President's admiration for the Polish nation to "I want to sleep with every Pole". Russian O Level is a loong time ago, but I recall "go for a walk" can be a little racy according to context :-)

Rupert Fiennes

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