Feeds

BOFH: How dangerous are your users?

Click here to find out

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

HP ProLiant Gen8: Integrated lifecycle automation

BOFH Userometer Simon is resting this week. So we are republishing a quiz from 2004, this time with added interactive mojo.

An online sysadmins resource

Sure, your users may look about as likely to rebel as the pack of mindless sheep that they are - but can they be trusted?

  • Are your users reading forbidden literature?
  • Are they trying to climb the technical greasy pole behind your back?
  • How will you know?
  • Can the cattle prod be trusted to solicit the truth?

It's time to put it to the test!

Put yourself in your users' place and answer these simple questions to see if things are going according to plan at YOUR workplace.

1. A MAC Address is:

A. A place you get Quarter Pounders
B. A street address in Scotland
C. Something Technical
D. A Hardware Address in Networking
E. Something technical a system administrator changes to cause the Boss's machine to lose network connection

2. You ring your Systems and Network people because the server has just gone down and you want to know when it will be up again. You expect them to tell you:

A. A number of minutes
B. A number of days
C. To sod off
D. The incriminating evidence they found in your email folder
E. The incriminating evidence they just placed in your email folder

3. The low-power components in your laptop are optimised to run at what voltage?

A. DC
B. AC
C. Whatever the adapter says
D. Just under 3 volts
E. 240 volts AC, and not a volt less!

4. You bring a box of 9 track tapes of your life's work to the operators to read in so that you can download them to your PC. The operator tells you it should be there in an hour. This means:

A. It will be loaded into your home share in an hour
B. It will be loaded into your home share today sometime
C. It will be loaded into your home share this week sometime
D. It will be loaded into your home share when hell freezes over
E. The Operator's bin has recently become full

5. You smell smoke in the building. You know immediately that:

A. You should sound the alarm
B. You should make your way quickly to the exit, notifying staff as you go
C. You should turn your machine off in case the sprinklers activate
D. The System Administrator is interviewing consultants again
E. The operator's bin doesn't need emptying any more

6. The faultiest piece of crap in the building is:

A. Sitting in the bin outside the head of IT's office
B. Sitting on the floor outside the head of IT's office
C. Sitting on the floor inside the head of IT's office
D. Sitting on the desk inside the head of IT's office
E. Sitting on the chair behind the Head of IT's desk, talking on the phone.

7. The best place to backup your files is:

A. To your Home Share, just like the System Admin said
B. To the TEMP directory, just like the System Admin said
C. To ZIP disk
D. (c) to Several Zip disks, and possibly CD-ROM
E. To the Recycle bin, to save the System Admin the trouble

8. The danger of leaving your machine switched on is:

A. It could catch fire
B. It could become a security risk
C. The disk could crash
D. It wastes lots of power
E. The processor might burn the System Administrators hand when he replaces it with a ... faster one ... late at night.

9. The security and integrity of your email is protected by:

A. Your password
B. Company Policy
C. PGP Encryption
D. Microsoft's pursuit of excellence. Waaaaaa ha ha ha!
E. Two pints for the System Administrator every Friday night

10. A System Administrator slaps a piece of paper down in front of you with lots of large technical words on it... which don't mean anything to you. He also indicates a line, with a large X beside it. You:

A. Sign on the line
B. Sign on the line
C. Sign on the line
D. Sign on the line
E. Refuse to sign on the line then check on your life Insurance Payments.

Reducing security risks from open source software

More from The Register

next story
Sysadmin Day 2014: Quick, there's still time to get the beers in
He walked over the broken glass, killed the thugs... and er... reconnected the cables*
SHOCK and AWS: The fall of Amazon's deflationary cloud
Just as Jeff Bezos did to books and CDs, Amazon's rivals are now doing to it
Amazon Reveals One Weird Trick: A Loss On Almost $20bn In Sales
Investors really hate it: Share price plunge as growth SLOWS in key AWS division
US judge: YES, cops or feds so can slurp an ENTIRE Gmail account
Crooks don't have folders labelled 'drug records', opines NY beak
Auntie remains MYSTIFIED by that weekend BBC iPlayer and website outage
Still doing 'forensics' on the caching layer – Beeb digi wonk
BlackBerry: Toss the server, mate... BES is in the CLOUD now
BlackBerry Enterprise Services takes aim at SMEs - but there's a catch
The triumph of VVOL: Everyone's jumping into bed with VMware
'Bandwagon'? Yes, we're on it and so what, say big dogs
Carbon tax repeal won't see data centre operators cut prices
Rackspace says electricity isn't a major cost, Equinix promises 'no levy'
prev story

Whitepapers

Designing a Defense for Mobile Applications
Learn about the various considerations for defending mobile applications - from the application architecture itself to the myriad testing technologies.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Top 8 considerations to enable and simplify mobility
In this whitepaper learn how to successfully add mobile capabilities simply and cost effectively.
Seven Steps to Software Security
Seven practical steps you can begin to take today to secure your applications and prevent the damages a successful cyber-attack can cause.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.