Feeds

Paris Hilton exits missionary position to save Universe

Administers Rwandan blow - job with Japanese babes

The Power of One Brief: Top reasons to choose HP BladeSystem

Reader challenge result Well, as you can see here, our big Paris Hilton headline competition provoked a bit of a stampede among Reg commentators keen to contribute their bit to the advancement of Vulture Central's award-winning non-IT-related coverage.

For the record, the headline and intro you now see are a composite of the best on offer as chosen by a panel of experts which did not, we hasten to add, include the lovely Ms Hilton herself.

We thought it only fair to let a few of you share the honours, given that you'd spent seconds, if not entire minutes, lovingly crafting your entries.

Among the comments which are not now gracing the headline of this piece is one rather churlish outburst from James, as follows:

Paris Hilton...is just one of the many pointless topics Lester Haines constantly chooses to demonstrate his utter unsuitability to write for an IT news site.

IT? Never heard of it mate. However, there are a few terms I have heard and which were disallowed from the headline compo. Those of you whose comments were rejected know what we're talking about. Don't get us wrong, it's all well and good for a bit of light-hearted banter down the boozer, but we're an international family publication, and have to be mindful of these things.

This didn't go down too well with Slaine, who protested:

Paris Hilton competition marks first "withdrawn" entry from MEEEEEEE

Sub: the writer was utterly aghast to discover that the fairly witty comment he made twice that day was rejected by the "censors". Asked later at his laptop in a dingy part of England, the author said, "I really don't see what was wrong with abbreviating the words that already appeared in the original article. It was meant to be a snackfood reference and certainly made me laugh, especially when one could take it either way; much like Ms Hilton it seems.

Actually, Slaine has had three comments rejected to date. The first two have been referred to the Daily Mail public standards bureau for further analysis, which is still trying to decide if charges should be brought.

Oh yes, and before we get back to the story which inspired this splendid tomfoolery, we thought we'd offer a rather good alternative to our final choice:

- Jailbird jetsetter jumps jejune jungle job, judges Japanese jubs
- Paris blows Rwandan orphans to save the Universe

Well done one and all. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'll just nip off to the pub...


Paris Hilton has reportedly postponed her charity trip to Rwanda to rush to the aid of a far more deserving cause: to pick finalists for the Miss Universe Japan contest.

According to AP, the multi-talented heiress was airlifted yesterday into a media throng as she and younger sis Nicky made their selections at a Tokyo boutique. In case you're interested, Japan's Riyo Mori currently holds the Miss Universe title, the first local to secure the crown since 1959.

The Nippon mercy dash comes shortly after Hilton said of her planned Rwanda trip: "Before, my life was about having fun, going to parties - it was a fantasy. But when I had time to reflect, I felt empty inside. I want to leave a mark on the world."

Mercifully for Hilton fans, the recovering jailbird seems to have snapped out of this uncharacteristic soul-searching, and yesterday told the howling Japanese press pack: "I love Tokyo. The shopping is great." ®

Seven Steps to Software Security

More from The Register

next story
NSA man: 'Tell me about your Turkish connections'
Spooks ask Dabbsy to suggest a nice hotel with pool
Carlos: Slim your working week to just three days of toil
'Midas World' vision suggests you retire later, watch more tellie and buy more stuff
Motorist 'thought car had caught fire' as Adele track came on stereo
'FIRE' caption on dashboard prompts dunderheaded hard shoulder halt
Yahoo! Japan! launches! service! for! the! dead!
If you're reading this email, I am no longer alive
Plucky Rockall podule man back on (proper) dry land
Bold, barmy Brit adventurer Nick Hancock escapes North Atlantic islet
Russia sends SEX-CRAZED GECKOS to SPAAAAACE!
In space... no one can hear you're green...
prev story

Whitepapers

Designing a Defense for Mobile Applications
Learn about the various considerations for defending mobile applications - from the application architecture itself to the myriad testing technologies.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Top 8 considerations to enable and simplify mobility
In this whitepaper learn how to successfully add mobile capabilities simply and cost effectively.
Seven Steps to Software Security
Seven practical steps you can begin to take today to secure your applications and prevent the damages a successful cyber-attack can cause.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.