Lewis, you could talk-up the act of watching paint dry into a frenzied Red Top article.

Have you considered therapy ?

...my sat nav once tried to leave me stranded in a bit of boggy wasteland between two labyrinthine housing estates in Milton Keynes...I'd much rather have taken my chances with the pasties...

Great word!

Oh my! This is literary genius!

...we'll give you the job with The Sun! I'll send a new copy of Roget's Thesaurus along next week as well - yours must be falling to pieces.

I'm feeling a mixture of annoyance and admiration for your manslaughter of the English language! :)

Keep up the good work.

Pasties - in Devon?

Lewis, you might just have offended the entire Cornish readership of El Reg - all four of them.

It's bad enough that people think of Devon clotted cream, but pasties?

I thought this was Devon, not Norfolk?

On the one side we have Mr. Page, on the other, we are hemmed in by the stylistic heights of Verity Stob ...

Hopefully the next time A Cornish trucker gets stuck

in prague, he too will be fed on the local delicacy of "Real Beer".

This gets my vote for best headline of the week. And the writing! It's as if Your Sinclair or Smash Hits have come back from the grave. And regenerated enough to operate a computer.

I am going to try and use the phrase "a hilarious bonecrunching comedy mishap sideshow" as often as I can.

I choose Paris Hilton as my avatar, because she knows a thing or two about narrow passages.

"managed to struggle free of the cab and evade any banjo-playing inbred cannibal psychotics who may have been lurking in the surrounding thickets"

Ah, good old Devon, i remember it well, never been back though.

At least Mr Page seems to have been taken over by his spirit.

Absolutely brilliant writing mate !

Please can we have a 'more of this sort of thing' icon.

If you remove the need for comment title and body, I could then post my approval with no need for a keyboard...

Why do all the best stories on El-reg come out on Friday?

How do you do it?!

...on writing anything ever again - the written word just peaked!

A satnav has just tried to kill its owner, and this is not even the first incident of this kind!

http://lewispage.blogspot.com/

Awesome.......

Bubble

Fantastic words.

they file all their stories from the Saloon Bar of The Pen & Ink.

Quite easily the best piece of writing I've read in a long time.

"Some day son, someone will invent a satellite navigatiion system. Then lorry drivers will drive down here and get stuck.

People will then be able to take the piss out of them online."

Please, the Banjo is an instrument beloved by the Scots, here in Norfolk it's the Ukulele, a la "singing postman". But I suppose it doesn't have the street cred for Deliverence

Green Wax Jacket -- Door -- Bye