Demon satnav imprisons plucky trucky in pasty hell
Yokels fed trapped driver of 'wedged' truck local diet
This week's hilarious satnav tomfoolery story comes from Ivybridge in Devon, where comical foreign person Yuro Odehnal was "sent up a narrow country lane by his satnav" last weekend - almost to his doom.
The Prague-based lorry driver, who wanted only to move a load of TVs, soon found his 40-ton articulated truck "wedged" inextricably between high banks either side and an overhead pipe.
Initial reports delivered verbally at Vulture Central appeared to suggest that the luckless Odehnal was actually imprisoned for days inside his cab, whose doors might have been pinned shut by dense West Country foliage and/or dirt. Locals were theorised to have fed the unfortunate pantechniconist by passing regional delicacies such as pasties through a partially opened window, in the fashion of chavvy parents supplementing Jamie Oliver-inspired school lunches.
Sadly - in a hilarious bonecrunching comedy mishap sideshow-freak popcorn news sense, though of course happily by the standards of decent human beings - the demoniac satnav's plan to finish its fleshy master by sealing him up in his cab until he died of pastry-based-snack-induced malnutrition misfired.
The plucky trucky, 45, managed to struggle free of the cab and evade any banjo-playing inbred cannibal psychotics who may have been lurking in the surrounding thickets. After fighting his way heroically across as much as several yards of impenetrable wilderness, the gutsy Czech reached the home of simple, decent yokels the Auburn family, who had lived there for generations* plying their homely trade as university lecturers.
The kindly bumpkins nourished Odehnal back to health, rather than giving him to the wicker man or something. Nonetheless, perhaps worried about greed-crazed junk-salvage-bonanza mob-frenzy looters - a common West Country problem for foundered cargos - the trucker chose to sleep in his cab at night. A rescue party reached him after several days.
Theories that local wreck-pillagers have switched from placing false lighthouses on beaches to spoofing satnav signals remained without foundation. ®
*Two. News reports specify that the family had a son, 19, known as "Mat".
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