Thanks for the mammaries.

"Thanks for the mammaries?"

Mines the burberry, taxi's on it's way.

"Jordan is dead,

But please don't be blue.

Though she's six foot below

Her nipples poke through."

Or, simply, "It's all gone hugely tits-up."

when it all goes tits up.

"Thick as F**k."

Well?

Seriously, she is so absolutely moronically stupid she should be shot just to prevent any further incursions into the future gene pool.

For a start, her tits are fake, and completely shit!

PS. Where's the paris hilton angle?

She exceeded her limitations and improved her only talents.

I've gone titsup

I like Jordan... She has her good points ;-)

that woman's knockers will be around long after she, and indeed the rest of us, have shuffled off.

"The Worlds greatest mum", she did win mum of the year didn't she? Although how she did when her oldest son ran into a mirror whilst unattended kind of beggars belief.

She sleeps alone at last

Here lies the body of Katie Price; While she may rot; Her assets will not

Fame she had a plenty; Although her mind was empty; Here she turns; Amidst the worms; Appalled she's now a non-entity.

And finally ,

Where have all the cameras gone?

...titillating conversationalist.

can we vote for peter andre's epitaph to be "he was a perfect tit"

Short and sweet is best, so:

"Here lies Jordan, who finally went tits up"

Thanks for the mamaries?

They didn't run with "In loving Mammary"?

Thanks for the Mammaries?

Silicon but not forgotten?

Sphere we go?

99 Red Balloons, anyone?

By the time she reaches her 60's, her first suggestion "She had perfect tits" will be supprisingly accurate.

However the epitaph, "90% biodegradable" also springs to mind

"My final implant."

"She married a tit"

They might be wise to put "Mind the step" on there.

Thanks for the mammaries

Thanks for the mammaries ?

"Here lies Katie 'Jordan' Price, who went titsup on..."

"At rest, after a bumpy ride."

"She was a titbit."

"Here be flagons."

"Her boobs and cock-ups were legendary".

"A damning indictment of the demise of Western Civilization".

The great thing is that it can be reused on Paris, Britney, Pete Doherty, and any number of waste-of-space, brain-dead, gene-pool-contminating "pop-icons"... and their producers/managers/marketers that keep shovelling them around.

I came, I saw, but I never really understood.

She was useless in life, at least now shes feeding the worms.

Loving mother, devoted wife, massive tits.

"A dirty weekend in Jordan was cheaper than one night in Paris".

"Don't cry for me. I've always been happiest on my back"

why not call the daughter Tiaamii Suu?

Simply the breast

'Not the river.'

Inflated in Life,

Inflated Chest,

Inflated Ego,

All deflated in Death.

Or maybe Annoying. Either or which I think are wholly suitable...I can think of others but I doubt they'd get published.

I’m no expert (I’m sure that there is someone out there that will put me right) but is there a COSHH problem with putting that amount of silicone in the ground ?

Environmental Precautions:

Do not allow to enter drains or water

courses.

Methods of spill cleaning:

Wipe, scrape or soak up in an inert

material and put in container for disposal.

Wash walking surfaces with a detergent

and water to reduce slipping hazard.

... tits up ??

:o)

/coat lol

( o Y o )

On the Spike Milligan theme, how about "Clearly, I was mentally ill" ?

or

Don't stand there - you'll burst them!

CCTV in action - nork-lifters will be prosecuted

Question: will she be going for the Y-shaped coffin at all ? Or perhaps a little creative corpse arrangement could negate the need for a vase at said site ? Take the Billy Connolly route and give visitors somewhere to park their bike ?

Sadly for her it will be posterity that recognises her genius, thereby denying her the adulation she so craves.

'Twas ever thus for minds of her stature.

No epitaph, but I heard she has commissioned the artist who designed these to make her gravestone:

www.skateparkoftampa.com/spot/images/btb7tits.jpg

Thanks for the mammaries

Not dead, chest sleeping

Crossed over to the udder side

Excuse my bust

How about 'I finally went titsup.'?

And the Cloakroom is where sorry?

No Photographs!

I couldn't dance

I couldn't sing

I couldn't act.

I couldn't write

But my tits will still be here long after you're dead.

Or maybe

Born May 1978

Implanted 199X

Died XXX XXXX

She came, she implanted, She posed, She gave birth, She married famous people and still nobody gave a flying f*ck when she died

I was just a little girl,

when I asked my mother "What will I be?"

"Will I be famous", "Will I be rich"

Here's what she said to me..

"No you f*cking won't, you'll be a annoying waste of time, taking up precious air, flaunting your plastic boobs at celebrities and pretending to be important to gossip rags in a vain attempt to prove that you're somebody special."

I proved her wrong didn't I?

hmm, I'm getting a bit vindictive here aren't I?

I've been thinking - step back everyone, this thing might just might blow!

All that silicone must put her in the hands of the WEEE... so how on Earth will they "dispose" of her in an environmentally friendly fashion?

Answers on a postage stamp to the usual address.

the personification of silicone valley.

May I be first to propose one for Paris:

Her lies Paris Hilton, famous for her many nights out and one night in.

'park bike here'

AFAIK they remove implants and such during the embalming process so there's no COSHH issue with silicone in the water table. Presumably they either restuff the cavity with something more biodegradable (old copies of the Sun would be appropriate in this case) or go with something in the padded bra line to compensate.

This does beg a question though. Could removing a dead, septuagenarian Jordan's implants possibly be the worst job in human history?

Normally I'd hesitate to point out something so flesh-crawlingly horrific, but it's Hallowe'en today so I claim fair comment.

Silicon but not forgotten.

Does she have any pet dogs? because it could read "please take care of the puppies".

I did my bust.

"Great loss for Humanity!" -British Plastics Inc

"What a gifted singer she was." -Playboy Magazine

"Last of the great ones." -Plastic Surgeons Union

"Too bad she never made it big." -Samantha Fox

In loving mamory

.. "Mind the Gap"

.. "Your flotation device is located under this headstone"

.. "Why is it so dark in here?"

.. "Silicon Valley"

Illegal minicab? That'll do nicely

"Here lies Jordan, the silicont."

Here lies one whose fame was tits in butter

"She had such awful tits that it took this much saline to make them look even marginally presentable"

Mine's the Barbour, please

Here I lie

Among the dead

With the biggest boobs

And the emptiest head

If they bury her shallow, with the waps poking through the surface:

"Bouncy castle, 20p. Please remove shoes."

......For a good time, digg.......

In my neck of the woods in peaceful Sussex 'sleeping policemen' are referred to now as 'sleeping Jordans' ...