Aaaaahhhh, it wouldn't be Friday without the Bastard.

"It takes six pints to really know a guy"...... Amen to that. Telling IT like IT is.

And normally a perfect way to find a friend for Life2? My round, what you havin', mate. :-)

Friday again, already. Wow, Magic.

At the moment I am engaged in a pitched battle with my current employers' HR department, whereby I cannot get them to accept that they were wrong.

Now in an ideal world, it would require an on-the-fly mod to the HR database, drop the user tables and clear the event logs and the problem sort of goes away, but they removed my connection to the server, so I guess I have to do this the old fashioned way, like Industrial Tribuneral!

Hey, you live and learn!

Anyway hats off to the BOFH and the PFy for dealing with the HR Droid in such a characteristic manner (lift, darkness, disconnected phone, etc), the only thing missing being the liberal amounts of smut in his in folder and that log of FARMASUTRA entries in his web browser, still, can't sort everything out in 5 minutes, can you?

Later people - good weekend to all!!!

The HR Droid should of been hit by the car in true BOFH fashion, I hope the next episode includes the fate of the HR Droid, I HATE them pricks :)

Props to the pub interviews tho, tried it myself once and everyone ended up getting too smashed and discussed the finer points of Stella.

Well done.

"Seven interviews later and I've spotted the slight flaw in our plan in that the first questions we should have asked of our new director were "Are you a violent maniac after you've had a few pints?" and "Did you know that punching someone in the face for using the words 'total cost of ownership' is not technically an approved interview technique – funny though it may be?""

Hilarious!!!

Firstly, superb blogg - I can relate to so much

Secondly, What does BOFH mean?

Thirdly, What does PFY mean?

Needles to say, posting anonymously should say enough in itself!

The best chuckle i have had all week :D

the HR s**mbag survived!?!?

what is the world coming to? pull your socks up Simon!

fPpH* = # pints** / ITIq

Definitions:

fPpH = frequency of punch per hour

IDIq = IT director's IQ

Bastard's Law states: 10 < IT Director's IQ < 80

* but not in an alcohol free vacuum

** ISO standard = 1 Stella

You need to read ALL the BOFH archives!

BOFH = Bastard Operator From Hell

PFY = Pimply Faced Youth

Anonymous Coward: If you don't know what BOFH means, check out http://bofh.ntk.net/ - he is the Bastard Operator From Hell, and he is the ruler of his domain. And all its subdomains. The PFY is his assistant, the Pimply-Faced Youth.

BOFH = Bastard Operator From Hell

PFY = Pimply Faced Youth

You should read the original BOFH articles from way back (do an online search, Simon T still has them up somewhere), as this will give you the background any sys admin, operator or IT techie needs to ensure he knows the rules of the game ;)

WTF! What the hell is a 'props'? Well I looked it up and apparently its some sort of slang for 'proper respect'. Christ, talk correctly people!

I was recently sent to head office in a far off land and the senior staff got me completely shitfaced. Much regret was had the next day when I couldn't make it more than 30min through a meeting before making a break for the toilet to hurl. The COO wanting to buy me some horrendously expensive delicacy drink still proved a little challenging for my stomach at dinner in the evening. Never again.... Never again...

are brilliant. Drunken IT directors who punch people for using buzzwords are fantastic. Now if only the HR droid had gotten appropriately maimed.

BOFH = Bastard Operator From Hell

PFY = Pimply Faced Youth

GIYF = Google Is Your Friend

Stella drinkers don't even deserve to be shot. They should be staked out in a blazing sun then just before the moment of death given a sip of Hoegaarden Grand Cru. In their last few seconds they will suffer a whole lifetime of torment in the knowledge that they have wasted all their time on Earth drinking gnats piss when the nectar of the Gods was easily within reach and it's too late for them.

most unfortunately the younger IT types seem to think Stella is some acceptable form of alcohol . . <sigh>

meanwhile us old time command line gurus _know_ real ale is the only way to go

Rule 8 duly invoked - have a good one everybody!

I agree 100% - stella is for lamers who THINK they're drinking the hard stuff, because it's a bit more expensive than the other lagers... I personally go with the wychwood tag line - "what's the matter, lager boy... afraid you might taste something?"

I wonder if there is any correlation between command-liners vs windoze-gooey users and ale vs lager... some research needed I think, anyone care to volunteer? Volunteer to pay for mine that is!

Oh yeah, to the anonymous person asking what bofh etc means... what's a blogg? Do you mean a blog, as in web log? I think you'll find that this is classed as an article or a story... I don't think Simon T would appreciate being likened to the unwashed masses of the "blogging world"... The stories about how someones cat filled their litter tray to vaguely resemble Jesus don't quite compare to the genius that is the Bastard Operator From Hell

Thank you and good night

Stella drinkers don't need to be shot. They know enough suffering in this life.

Alcohol, IT and violence all nicely mixed in the same story. Simons back on form :)

Oh and isnt Stella something that the docs prescribe as a diuretic ? Or it tastes like the result of administering one ?

Whats the matter Stella boy ?

:)

Hacker-Pschorr is the good stuff, and particularly apt too for those adventurous IT types... (http://www.thedifferenceisinside.com/)

Beats Stella by a long, long way, tried it once on a sweltering summer's day in London during a geeky meetup, wonderful stuff.

Stella in England is undrinkable, like most lagers. Stella in Leuven is completely different - it's very drinkable. Shame for Stella that the Trappist beers are in a class of their own.

Here on the other side of the big puddle "STELLA" is an award named after the lady who successfully sued MacDonalds for the injuries suffered when SHE dumper her OWN cup of coffee in her OWN lap, claimed "she wasn't told the coffee was very hot" and WON....

Sounds like some HR people I've deralt with in years past, if you do not tell them exactly word for word what you want they never hear it. Come to think of it some of our IT people at the plant are like that too.. <VBG>

Man that brings back memories,, hazy, and some that have been lost completely. I had one interview which was at the local pub. I was going for a position in a different section, the manager booked the time and upon duly arriving told me he had changed the venue. 5 mins later we were at the local. 6 hours later ( i think drunk gravity was involoved) I stumble my way home. Turning up to work the next day looking like something the dog had dug up and dragged in, the manager found me at my station dropping aspirin and caffeine is equal amounts. He told me later that day I got the position. I found out later that he would where possible use that as a interviewing technique. Firstly, he didn't trust a man that didn't drink and secondly if your out on the turps and working the next day, still turning up regardless if your pushing the medical definition of alcohol poisoning ( Apparently showed character and a willingness to get the job done).

Good days ( I think)

I worked with a guy once who apparently could whack down 10 pints in a long lunch. Then go back to work.

Frightening

It's a fake Simon Travalgia posting! The real one would have a Reg Hack Icon like the others. (Now, someone hand me the insulated shoes for the walk down the stairs in case I'm wrong. Can't trust the lifts here...)

And JFGI - just go ahead and google it

"correlation between command-liners vs windoze-gooey users and ale vs lager"

You're probably right, but it might also be an age thing. I grew up with DOS (even a bit of Fortran), use Linux and drink Hobgoblin. That doesn't preclude the odd lager - Duvel and Aventinus (8%) are quite drinkable. Children who have known nothing but Windows have mostly yet to discover their taste buds...

I have to be careful, this one almost made me spew coffee.