Bike bonk bloke lands on sex offenders' register
Cleaners catch cycle molester in flagrante delicto
A man who was caught in flagrante delicto attempting sexual intercourse with a bicycle has been placed on the sex offenders' register, the Telegraph reports.
Robert Stewart earned himself a hearing at Ayr Sheriff Court following the incident last October when two "extremely shocked" cleaners at local Aberley House Hostel discovered him getting down and dirty with the bike.
Depute fiscal Gail Davidson told the court: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply. They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down. The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."
The cleaners duly alerted the hostel's manager, who called in the police.
Stewart on Wednesday admitted to sexual breach of the peace, and was placed on the sex offenders' register. Sentencing was deferred until next month. ®
For God's sake
An American TV evangelist once described Scotland as - "A cold, dark place full of homosexuals."
Not 100% full obviously!
Anyway did this guy pay for his pleasures, or was he freewheeling?
Pink Floyd overdose?
I've got a bike, you can ride it if you like,
It's got a basket, a bell that rings and things to make it look good,
I'd give it to you if I could, but I borrowed it,
You're the kind of girl that fits in with my world,
I'll give you anything, everything if you want things.
But seriously, this is seriously wrong. Once again the "Ugh!" reaction gets translated into legal judgements and policy.
...be able to listen to Freddie Mercury singing "I want to ride my bicycle" ever again.