if you're slicing your stories this thin, El Reg. Shame on you.

...conjouring up a mental image here of workers in a car factory doing star jumps in time to some jaunty tune...

Don't really see it catching on to be honest...

How about, and I know this is wild and whacky and a bit out there, but what the Hell, here goes; HOW ABOUT NO PATERNALISM AT ALL, YOU TOSSER? Oh, yes, because then there'd be no need for "Professors of Social Policy", would there?

This is two Le Grands in as many days (see also http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/10/23/smoking_licence/)

The Government must be up to something really bad and is simply trying to distract vigilant Reg readers with all this glorious swivel eyed nutter output.

Hi,

The other proposals from the same great freedom defender include a mandatory £200/year smoker card to be able to buy cigarettes. Sounds even more enforceable than the 1 hour gym/day... I suspect the next step will be a prayer and a serment of allegeance!

Double the taxes on ciggies, then buy the card to pay only the current normal tax. Thus you don't _have_ to have a "ciggie discount card", but it'd make (financial) sense to get it. Much more customer friendly.

To all corpulent reg readers: I'm setting up the El Reg Harriers. Now that hunting dumb animals is prohibited, let's all have fun whilst getting some exercise by chasing some fuckwit nuLab guru up hill and down dale.

A welcome side effect will be the reduction of stupid schemes tending toward the destruction of the health and education services.

Those people who are addicted to the weed and/or alcohol may prefer to form an orderly mob, whilst waving scythes. Just make sure you look like a load of chavs rather than democratic protesters, otherwise the police will turn up.

Where do I sign up? ;)

Given that two days a week I manage to bugger off to the local gym for an hour during normal working time, avoiding the rush at start and end of the day and at lunchtime. Although I guess the result of this is that I'd find that it was busy when I wanted to use it so OK, I've changed my mind, it's more nuLabour crap and shouldn't be allowed.

Oh, and an icon suggestion - how about a steaming turd.

Are you still accepting applications for leader of the mob?

...the Gubbinsment isn't paying this berk to come up with all this bollocks. Because if the are, it's time for a revolution.

Aux armes, citoyens!