Feeds

Leprechaun steals Gandalf's trousers, is offered starring role in The Hobbit

While Microsoft invades your brain

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction

Sir Ian McKellen has expressed an interest in reprising his role of Gandalf in the upcoming Lord of the Rings prequel The Hobbit. With Peter Jackson gone from the helm, it's no longer certain Sir Ian will be cast, but he thinks it's "very likely".

Is there anything to prevent him from being Gandalf in his own time? Does he sometimes don the costume when he goes out to the shops, or if he feels the need to perform acts of goodness? We should be told.

Ashley Pomeroy


Never mind Paris Hilton where's the "Arwen in panties" angle?

The IT angle is obvious: only geeks, nerds and sysadmins can bear to read or watch Tolkien's risible faux-saga.

Any literate adult should regard LOTR - book and film both - as ludicrous, overblown and boring (even though many of us have sat through it for our kids' entertainment).

Who gives a flying fuck whether it's McKellen or Roy 'Chubby' Brown playing Gandalf? The news that we are to be fed yet more of this interminable meretricious tosh on celluloid should fill every right-thinking person with despair.

Tolkien should've stuck to what he was being paid for instead of wasting Oxford university's money scribbling puerile drivel about furry-footed ingenues and eldritch villains. (And bloody CS Lewis was little better IMO.)

Bah! Humbug!

Sceptical Bastard


The young Bilbo? Erm, it's me. I'm going to put my knees in my shoes and my feet up my arse and waddle around a bit. "Coo! What's that? Could it be a ring? Oh - so it is! Well fancy that!", and so forth.

Anonymous Coward


It's got to be a Musical. Thats what Bilbo Baggans Hates!

Demian Phillips


A Cincinnati man, caught sans trousers in a car by its owner, has put the blame on a cheeky leprechaun. The diminutive paddy allegedly let the accused into the vehicle, and is presumably still at, er, large. The story received near-instant corroboration:

As a Cincinnati resident I'm fairly certain that leprechauns were indeed egging him on. Lousy little buggers are everywhere around here. No pots of gold though, we got the cheap ones.

Paul F


I work in Cincy but live across the river, and I can verify their existance. They are poor kind and usually have a sign asking for my spare change.

Anonymous Coward


If I was a leprechaun I'd definitely spend my free time luring people into cars that didn't belong to them. Then I'd phone the police and report them. Has anyone reported seeing a small Irishman in the court room, pissing himself laughing?

One-armed Freddy


Ahh the the aul leprechaun made me do it excuse, that's got me out of many a problem

Steve Kelly

I think that goes for all of us. There are presumably many pissed-off leprechauns, sick of being blamed for our indiscretions, who seek revenge by stealing our keys, watches and one sock from each pair. Let's hope they don't escalate things. ®

Top three mobile application threats

More from The Register

next story
Och aye! It's the Loch Ness Monster – but only Apple fanbois can see it
Fondleslab-friendly beastie's wake spotted... OR WAS IT?
Spanish village called 'Kill the Jews' mulls rebranding exercise
Not exactly attractive to the Israeli tourist demographic
Sleuths find nosy NORKS drones on the Chinternet
UAVs likely to have been made in the Middle Kingdom
Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL
Bank: 'We are now safely patched.' Customers: 'You were using OpenSSL?'
Dorian Nakamoto gets $23,000 payout over Bitcoin invention saga
Maintains he didn't create cryptocurrency, but will join community
Japanese boffin EYES up big bucks with strap-on digi-glasses
AgencyGlass saddles user with creepy OLED display
Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN
Reg reader snaps shot of touching tribute to Apple icon
Happy 40th Playmobil: Reg looks back at small, rude world of our favourite tiny toys
Little men straddle LOHAN, attend tiny G20 Summit... ah, sweet memories...
prev story

Whitepapers

Mobile application security study
Download this report to see the alarming realities regarding the sheer number of applications vulnerable to attack, as well as the most common and easily addressable vulnerability errors.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Securing web applications made simple and scalable
In this whitepaper learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.
Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.