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Leprechaun steals Gandalf's trousers, is offered starring role in The Hobbit

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Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Sir Ian McKellen has expressed an interest in reprising his role of Gandalf in the upcoming Lord of the Rings prequel The Hobbit. With Peter Jackson gone from the helm, it's no longer certain Sir Ian will be cast, but he thinks it's "very likely".

Is there anything to prevent him from being Gandalf in his own time? Does he sometimes don the costume when he goes out to the shops, or if he feels the need to perform acts of goodness? We should be told.

Ashley Pomeroy


Never mind Paris Hilton where's the "Arwen in panties" angle?

The IT angle is obvious: only geeks, nerds and sysadmins can bear to read or watch Tolkien's risible faux-saga.

Any literate adult should regard LOTR - book and film both - as ludicrous, overblown and boring (even though many of us have sat through it for our kids' entertainment).

Who gives a flying fuck whether it's McKellen or Roy 'Chubby' Brown playing Gandalf? The news that we are to be fed yet more of this interminable meretricious tosh on celluloid should fill every right-thinking person with despair.

Tolkien should've stuck to what he was being paid for instead of wasting Oxford university's money scribbling puerile drivel about furry-footed ingenues and eldritch villains. (And bloody CS Lewis was little better IMO.)

Bah! Humbug!

Sceptical Bastard


The young Bilbo? Erm, it's me. I'm going to put my knees in my shoes and my feet up my arse and waddle around a bit. "Coo! What's that? Could it be a ring? Oh - so it is! Well fancy that!", and so forth.

Anonymous Coward


It's got to be a Musical. Thats what Bilbo Baggans Hates!

Demian Phillips


A Cincinnati man, caught sans trousers in a car by its owner, has put the blame on a cheeky leprechaun. The diminutive paddy allegedly let the accused into the vehicle, and is presumably still at, er, large. The story received near-instant corroboration:

As a Cincinnati resident I'm fairly certain that leprechauns were indeed egging him on. Lousy little buggers are everywhere around here. No pots of gold though, we got the cheap ones.

Paul F


I work in Cincy but live across the river, and I can verify their existance. They are poor kind and usually have a sign asking for my spare change.

Anonymous Coward


If I was a leprechaun I'd definitely spend my free time luring people into cars that didn't belong to them. Then I'd phone the police and report them. Has anyone reported seeing a small Irishman in the court room, pissing himself laughing?

One-armed Freddy


Ahh the the aul leprechaun made me do it excuse, that's got me out of many a problem

Steve Kelly

I think that goes for all of us. There are presumably many pissed-off leprechauns, sick of being blamed for our indiscretions, who seek revenge by stealing our keys, watches and one sock from each pair. Let's hope they don't escalate things. ®

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