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Leprechaun steals Gandalf's trousers, is offered starring role in The Hobbit

While Microsoft invades your brain

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Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Comments Microsoft has announced its intention to try to read our minds. Saying it wants to better understand human-computer interaction, the mega-corporation has filed a patent for a psychic alternative to those irritating surveys no one likes. You were full of dystopian predictions:

It looks like you're trying to compose a thought. Would you like me to think it for you?

Tom


I've got the good fortune to be trialing one of these devices! I must say its absolutly astonishing, to have the abilility to actually 'see' the words you are visualising takes a little, whats that out the window? time to master but it really is quite an, bloody salad for lunch! who eats salad for lunch? improvement over the traditional button bashing. In fact its quite a revelation, I can see this being the launchpad for a whole raft of exciting tech developments, things get real weird when you access your gmail!

I'll keep you all, I must have a shit, up to date with my progress!

Alex


As long as they don't put a feedback mechanism in - I'd hate to get electrocuted just for thinking about Linux.

Steve Atty


Perhaps AmanFromMars has been trialling this... NOW it all makes sense!!!

IanKRolfe

Not quite. amanfromMars wrote the software. Still want to try it?


A Pennsylvania housewife was charged on Thursday with disorderly conduct after she swore at a toilet and a police officer, though only the policeman pressed charges. Dawn Herb had been attempting to restrain her overflowing commode when the officer took exception to her potty mouth. You thought it was all a bit silly:

Well, the shit will hit the fan if she goes down the crapper.

Anonymous Coward


Would this be a graded system, or is saying 'fish mitten' as bad as saying 'cunt'? Do the natives of Scrotum have to wander round with comedy horns to honk when they trip over paving slabs or catch their fingers in doors?

Chris Collins


"intent to cause public inconvenience, annoyance or alarm"

Is that because she has no private convenience as its blocked up?

Anonymous Coward


And what, exactly, did the opinion of a director of public safety bring

to that discussion? Was the toliet overflowing *that* badly? If so a

few 4-letter words would seem to be the least of his problems...

Steve


She should sue the cop on the basis that he must be a pervert to be hanging around outside her bathroom window and invading her privacy in the first place. Was he just listening or was he trying to cop an eyeful? :-)

JohnG

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