Feeds

Leprechaun steals Gandalf's trousers, is offered starring role in The Hobbit

While Microsoft invades your brain

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Comments Microsoft has announced its intention to try to read our minds. Saying it wants to better understand human-computer interaction, the mega-corporation has filed a patent for a psychic alternative to those irritating surveys no one likes. You were full of dystopian predictions:

It looks like you're trying to compose a thought. Would you like me to think it for you?

Tom


I've got the good fortune to be trialing one of these devices! I must say its absolutly astonishing, to have the abilility to actually 'see' the words you are visualising takes a little, whats that out the window? time to master but it really is quite an, bloody salad for lunch! who eats salad for lunch? improvement over the traditional button bashing. In fact its quite a revelation, I can see this being the launchpad for a whole raft of exciting tech developments, things get real weird when you access your gmail!

I'll keep you all, I must have a shit, up to date with my progress!

Alex


As long as they don't put a feedback mechanism in - I'd hate to get electrocuted just for thinking about Linux.

Steve Atty


Perhaps AmanFromMars has been trialling this... NOW it all makes sense!!!

IanKRolfe

Not quite. amanfromMars wrote the software. Still want to try it?


A Pennsylvania housewife was charged on Thursday with disorderly conduct after she swore at a toilet and a police officer, though only the policeman pressed charges. Dawn Herb had been attempting to restrain her overflowing commode when the officer took exception to her potty mouth. You thought it was all a bit silly:

Well, the shit will hit the fan if she goes down the crapper.

Anonymous Coward


Would this be a graded system, or is saying 'fish mitten' as bad as saying 'cunt'? Do the natives of Scrotum have to wander round with comedy horns to honk when they trip over paving slabs or catch their fingers in doors?

Chris Collins


"intent to cause public inconvenience, annoyance or alarm"

Is that because she has no private convenience as its blocked up?

Anonymous Coward


And what, exactly, did the opinion of a director of public safety bring

to that discussion? Was the toliet overflowing *that* badly? If so a

few 4-letter words would seem to be the least of his problems...

Steve


She should sue the cop on the basis that he must be a pervert to be hanging around outside her bathroom window and invading her privacy in the first place. Was he just listening or was he trying to cop an eyeful? :-)

JohnG

Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence

More from The Register

next story
Facebook's Zuckerberg in EBOLA VIRUS FIGHT: Billionaire battles bug
US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention contacted as site supremo coughs up
Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future
We feel obliged to point out the headline statement is total, utter cobblers
Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy
'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
FedEx helps deliver THOUSANDS of spam messages DIRECT to its Blighty customers
Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on
The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event
Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)
Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants
Baaaaaa! Fanny's Farm's woolly flock is high, maaaaaan
Swiss wildlife park serves up furry residents to visitors
'It's ecological' says spokesman, now how would you like your Bambi done?
Red Bull does NOT give you wings, $13.5m lawsuit says so
Website letting consumers claim $10 cash back crashes after stampede
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Why and how to choose the right cloud vendor
The benefits of cloud-based storage in your processes. Eliminate onsite, disk-based backup and archiving in favor of cloud-based data protection.
Three 1TB solid state scorchers up for grabs
Big SSDs can be expensive but think big and think free because you could be the lucky winner of one of three 1TB Samsung SSD 840 EVO drives that we’re giving away worth over £300 apiece.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.