Well, it's happened. Fearsome machines have taken the first tentative steps towards usurping humanity's traditional mastery and establishing a new world order. The strategy appears to be one of divide and conquer, namely forcing the obsolescence of men by vastly outdoing us as lovers. Whether this is simply a temporary alliance that will be discarded once we males are out of the way, or if the machines intend to forge a new hybrid cyborg race is unknown at this point. Don your tinfoil hats, people.

Chainsaw with tounges?! Good Lord, that's got to be scary! It's like Sir Killalot with amorous intentions O_O

I'm not quite sure how they made the design leap from "chainsaw" to "pleasure machine".

DP

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I seriously hope fuckzilla doesnt become self aware - forget the enslavement and destruction of mankind - pass the pampers!

Daniel Voyce

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This is just a load of perverted b*ll*cks maquerading as legitimate use of technology.. Where can I get tickets and when's it coming to the UK?

Jon

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If it takes a two hansded robotic chainsaw dildo fuckmonster to pleasure a woman, how can I compete?

My willy feels smaller and smaller just thinking about it. At least if they had a chainsaw sheath for it..........maybe with built in taser capabilities to stun my prey. Captain Cyborg beware. And you thought playing "swords" would end there.

What about the technology for men? Why is it that all I get are various lubes, the Fleshlight, and if I happen to have several grand a Real Doll? Where is my mega-cuntzilla with pulsating hyperfriction walls? Seriously. And while you're at it make it tell me how sexy I am when I write regexes.

Chris

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Did Burke just get bored of writing articles about online gambling regulations and insist he be sent on a jolly to cover something with naked women? Or did they think "who is the most depraved individual on the payroll? I know, we'll send the lawyer."

Also, does he know what Burke actually means? Could this also be the reason he was sent?

Misha Gale

Burke won the all-Reg wrestling match over attending Arse Elektronika. Things looked a little slippery for a while, but Burke stood triumphant, beating off all comers and grasping victory firmly with both hands.

I think I need a bit of a lie-down... ®

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