Rebranding earthquake shakes seismic tech outfit
Shedding electrons to the sound of whalesong
LogoWatch Those of us who view the inexorable spread of rebranding madness with a certain dread and not a small amount of horror had, until now, assumed that it was only Web 0.2 solutions providers, telcos, or self-important chip outfits with more money than sense who allowed themselves to succumb to the sound of whalesong and the pungent scent of joss-sticks.
Indeed, we assumed that the scientific business sector boasted a natural immunity to infection, until one reader alerted us to clear signs of Strategy Boutique activity down at ION Geophysical Corporation - the seismic equipment manufacturer formerly known as I/O:
The evidence? Well, try this eye-opener from Chris Friedemann, senior vice president of Corporate Marketing for
I/O ION, who declared:
The name ION was chosen because it represents a simple transition from I/O. The addition of the 'N' conveys 'I/O Now' as well as 'I/O Next,' reflecting both our offerings of today and our innovations of tomorrow. An ion is an atom that has gained or lost electrons and, as a result, is both energized and in a state of flux. ION symbolizes our corporate growth history and the capabilities we have gained through acquisition. At another level, the dynamic nature of the ion reflects our restless passion for developing state-of-the-art products, services, and solutions that are tailored to the unique requirements of each customer we serve and project we undertake.
Suffice it to say, quarantine teams and deprogramming experts are as we speak on their way to Texas in the hope that the outbreak can be contained before it spreads. Watch this space. ®
I'm well aware of bogans - we have them here (including a sub-genus called "Westie" up in West JAFAville, I mean, Auckland).
The term I used was "bogon" - quite distinctly different, as noted in the New Hackers' Dictionary: http://www.ccil.org/jargon/jargon.html
@ Jon Tocker
Although it could not be called a Bogan Quotient as that is a term already in high use in Australia - it represents the number of bogans (the Australian equivalent to Chavs, also known as Yobbo's or Westies) in any party. The higher the Bogan Quotient the more likely a party will go to hell and end up with someone or something being set on fire.
A Bogosity Quotient or perhaps an MBS Warning (Marketing Bull Shit Warning) should defintely be applied to these articles though!
Did anyone else...
...feel their eyes glazing over and their attention start to wander within the first two lines of the explanation for the rebranding?
Holy crap! Somewhere between "I/O Now" and "I/O Next" I could feel myself losing the will to live.
I think El Reg should post a content advisory when quoting more than three words from a Marketroid. This is a IT-focused site, after all and we should have at least some warning that the content of an article is likely to trip our bogometers so hard that the needle wraps around the stop pin.
I suggest a BQ (Bogon Quotient or Bogosity Quotient) rating from 1 (safe for geeks to read) to 10 (get a bucket and mop and stock up on industrial-strength disinfectant) for any article containing ejecta from the foul orifaces of marketroids.