...Moira Stewart - the poor (well spoken) lass needs the work now she doesn't fit in at a Kaplinskiated BBC.

I would e-mail the OED a request for inclusion of your excellent word 'Kaplinskiated' in their next edition!

Every time I call I have to put up with someone that sounds like Anthea F***ing Turner on coke telling me that though she knows I'll be excited about the iPhone (I'm f***ing not) that I have to register at the web site not over the phone. Just put me through to someone I can shout at!!!

"I would e-mail the OED a request for inclusion of your excellent word 'Kaplinskiated' in their next edition!"

While you're there, ask for 'deKaplinskiated' to be added as well, with the definition "q.v. BBC".

Best thing about Orange is the posh-sounding bird on the voicemail service.

Almost as good as the R3 announcer ...

‘Orange puts plum back in mouth’

Honestly, I was a forces brat and was told quite regularly that I spoke like that. Utter pish. I hereby challenge all the Reg Hacks to pop a plum in their gobs and and say 'Your call is worth pap to us, we are currently getting pished in our local tavern' (without drooling all down your shirts). -That's- how you sound with a plum in your mouth!

only Virgin Media would get the message... I'm waiting for the Hanna Barberra reject to spit out "Zowie Cavey" at the end of every sentence!

Why not get an Indian person to record it ... that way we might have a better chance of understanding the people at customer services .... "Your remaining credit is 1 million rupes, thank you for calling Orange"

The Virgin Mobile lady in the US is just as annoying. She's young, she's hip, she's bubbly, she makes you want to cram the telephone down her throat and throw the two of them off of a very tall building.

On top of that, it's one of those menus that you have to talk to rather than pressing buttons. I'm a native (US) English speaker with no particular regional accent and sometimes she doesn't understand me. I can only imagine what she does with people who are speaking their second language.

Don't forget that you can always send Orange a complaint e-mail:

http://www1.orange.co.uk/mobilecontactus/form.php?subj=webpaymother is the address for contract customers.

I can't believe that they have still not fully replaced the original voice, how hard can it be? When listening to my remaining minutes it just seems cruel to keep the original woman saying "any time, any network minutes", reminding me of what we used to have!

Nah, other it would have to be 'thank you for calling Orangeings, your remaining creditings is 1 million repees."

Wonder if we will get free ringdings too? ... Think I'll be looking for other service providings!!!

Their IVR Is Fine, Not Too Posh Not Too Common!!

No BullS**t when you call either, just a simple 'hello, how can i help?'

Not a full on 'hello, thank you for calling blabla your speaking to blabla in the blabla department, can i take your name please...

... Its a proven fact customers only start listening when they hear the end of the sentance or the 'how can i help?'

never heard oranges IVR, but really think they need too sort out their billing and network and actually bring out tariffs to compete with t-mobiles flext plans - orange used to be good but are utter bollocks now!!

Fonejacker, we love it - says it all about indian contact centres

Maybe, just maybe, we could have a real person one day? You know, somneone who undersands what you want, instead of expecting you to understand what they want ?

Did anyone actually complain to Orange that the RP voice on their automated services was offensive to those with a regional accent? Or was this in response to some "Market Research" where they asked 1000 people if they'd rather have the recorded voice in their own accent? Which is useless unless you get hundreds of different sets of recordings tailored to every region!

I'd recommend that more companies switch to a Cornish accent please... there's nothing more calming than "How be ye, moi dear?".