Feeds

Rise of the f*cking machines: Arse Elektronika bumps uglies with Web 2.0

Teledildonics to fill emptiness of modern geek-based life forms?

Build a business case: developing custom apps

A brief history of the dildo

old school dildo Arse Electronika

Old school vibrator, photo courtesy of Fox Magrathea of Metaforge.com

The good people of Good Vibrations were on hand to give us all a welcome history of the sex toy. At least as far back as ancient Mesopotamia, and culminating today with the latest in vibrator tech, the Talking Head mp3 vibrator - which offers Juan the Latin Lover and Bergen the German Mountain Man as audible assistants for the ladies - the humble phallus seems to have maintained position as the prototype of choice, although the Good Vibrations museum has a collection of vibes from makers such as Wahl and Hamilton Beach that bear uncanny resemblances to home appliances.

American households apparently had more vibrators than toasters in 1917, as the steam-powered vibes prescribed by doctors for female hysteria in the 19th century gave way to the 110 volt beauties of the electrical age.

Sex and democracy - the early adopters

John Coopersmith gave us a history of how porn has pushed the technological envelope. From the first Polaroid - the Swinger - to the video recorder and the development of the internet, human lust has led the way. Now that anybody can be a porn producer or star the trick is to find the audience. The high barrier to entry of the pre-internet porn industry had the benefit of facilitating distribution to a wider audience, which has left the internet as a fetish-driven niche market.

The idea that the internet has unleashed human depravity, as social conservatives claim, seems specious: for example, the humanimal fetish, in which human and animal body parts are combined, is too reminiscent of Greek or Egyptian mythology to be a uniquely disturbing, contemporary conceit. There's more farce there than fetish.

Teledildonics

Teledildonics is the field of remote controlled sex machines. It is also our new favorite word here at Vulture Central.

Kyle Machulis, who created the first sex toy interface for Second Life and runs slashdong.com, a site devoted to open source development in the field of teledildonics, gave a presentation covering the various ways in which modes of communication such as the internet or cell phones can be utilized as sex toys. Machulis, a robotics engineer, brought the world twitterdildonics at the SXSW festival this year by converting the ASCII characters of twitter microblogs into vibrator commands.

The basic idea of remotely controlling the sexual pleasure of another is simple enough, inasmuch as the organs involved on either end are what we've always had, but the field has also given rise to a novel form of fetishism, in which software programs replace the dom in a BDSM context.

This type of code-based auto-domination - erotocodism, we'll call it - in which the participant submits to the commands of the software without the riding crops, gimp masks and assorted other paraphernalia associated with BDSM, is of course only a precursor to the day when F*ckzilla himself gives the orders.

When he does, rest assured El Reg will be there to cover it.®

Burke Hansen, attorney at large, heads a San Francisco law office

Boost IT visibility and business value

More from The Register

next story
Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?
Local UK gov outs most ridiculous FoI requests...
Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!
Put it away boys. Cover them up ladies. Your credit cards, we mean
Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD
'Officers were unable to determine Chicken's intent'
Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'
US court hears of cached browser image - not actual request
Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people
They're a future source of RENEWABLE ENERGY
Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty
Sales of traditional brekkie foods soar as hungry folk get their mitts greasy
Nuts to your poncey hipster coffees, I want a TESLA ELECTRO-CAFE
Examining the frothy disconnect in indie cafe culture
Ex-Apple man Sam Sung - for it is he - sticks namebadge on eBay
Stump up via tat bazaar, do a good thing for ill kids
Check your Clungene, Irish women warned
Have a quick shufti, you may not be pregnant after all
prev story

Whitepapers

Endpoint data privacy in the cloud is easier than you think
Innovations in encryption and storage resolve issues of data privacy and key requirements for companies to look for in a solution.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Top 8 considerations to enable and simplify mobility
In this whitepaper learn how to successfully add mobile capabilities simply and cost effectively.
Solving today's distributed Big Data backup challenges
Enable IT efficiency and allow a firm to access and reuse corporate information for competitive advantage, ultimately changing business outcomes.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.