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Intrepid plods responded to a chemical terror alert by sealing off three central London streets before neutralising the threat: 9lbs of burnt chillis. A perfect opportunity for sniggering and endless puns:

chill(i)ing news regarding the state of the nation's terror police. I bet they are feeling pretty warm under the collar right now though. Did they check ownership of the chillis? Were they "hot"?

IGMC

Anonymous Vulture


Should have used pepper spray.

Chris Taylor


I thought the police only went in for Casserole.

.......you know:

Irish Stew in the name of the Law.

Coat

Leaving

Fluffykins


As a former professional cook I can tell you we got carried away once in a while with how much we made your Thai chef here seems to have been making an enormous batch of this stuff 9lbs is a lot of chilies they are hollow inside so they don't weigh that much per pepper more than likely he was trying to get ahead in his prep and it apparently turned out a bit disruptive. Don't sell the cooking odors short when it comes to chilies it can incapacitate a person with asthma and clear a dining room if you have enough cooking at once.

Alan Donaly


You brits are way too nice. If it was Jack Bauer, he would have found the guy, shot his knee cap off, made him talk by jamming 8 lbs of the "chilli" down his throat. And by the time the local flatfoot shows up, Jack would be off in a black ops helicopter to Thailand for the source of the weapon.... KC

Anonymous Vulture


A Russian teenager survived a two-hour flight to Moscow in the wheel well of a Boeing 737, braving temperatures of -50°C. It wasn't the most sensible thing to do, and he's lucky to be alive, but this could be the next great money-saver for cheap airlines:

Coming soon to a RyanAir Jet near you - new 'low cost' in the wing seating. Warning, frostbite is a chargeable extra.

Nick


The landing gear hydraulics would surely have had enough pressure to mash the poor kid when they folded up after takeoff. It's amazing he managed to avoid that as well.

Geoff


"and the landing gear lowering at 1,500 feet often does the trick"

Yup. I used to live in Kew in West London, directly under the flight path to Heathrow just about at the point where the landing gear is lowered. The car park of the local DIY superstore and also Kew Gardens itself both experienced falling corpses in the few years I lived there. I think the local police were getting quite used to it.

Anonymous Vulture


With space in a wheel bay being at an absolute premium I don't understand how this kiddie managed to avoid the two-wheeled undercarriage as it retracted after take-off. I've worked on these things in the past and can only think he had a really uncomfortable, noisy, cold, smelly ride for the whole 2 hours.

He wouldn't have been any warmer sitting in an engine intake, bearing in mind that even though the engine itself is extremely hot, the air speed into the intake would give a nice wind-chill factor. At least if he got sucked into the engine on landing his body parts would be saved thanks to the thrust reverser (http://www.cruisinaltitude.com/images/b737/atb732lrtrakl.jpg).

Chris Barrett


Beats going through security!

Hugh Cowan

Reducing security risks from open source software

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