When my wife starts to snore, I usually just hold her nose until she stops. Works for me.

....there are two in the bed, one computerised pillow, and they both snore?

I was told recently of one of those 'wake you up when you snore' watches a bloke was wearing; it worked fine until his partner started to snore and the watch woke him up ;-)

So I now have this vision of some poor soul having his head constantly adjusted by a computerised pilllow because his partner is knocking out the zzzzzzs

Does it smother you as a final resort (a spouse purchased deluxe upgrade)?

Or, if you're snoring that much, maybe you should visit a sleep specialist and be checked for a sleep disorder. As a bonus, if you're diagnosed as having a real disorder, such as OSA (Obstructive Sleep Apnea), you will be prescribed with a device to help treat the disorder, such as a CPAP machine or, if you find yourself unable to adjust to a CPAP device, an oral appliance.

Once you've had a few months, you'll probably find that not only is your spouse happier with the lack of snoring, but YOU'RE happier with the massively improved sleep. You'll be safer driving, more alert at work, and more interested in doing things after work.

Alternatively, the doc says you don't have a problem, you just snore a lot. Congratulations, you're healthy! He may still be able to give you some advice. One way or the other, I wouldn't try something like this pillow until it had been in use for a while, and the results evaluated.

-daniel

Sorry, it must be the time of night, I read "CRAP machine" and thought you were taking the piss. Sadly, my problem isn't snoring, but rather insomnia. Apart from high-dosage sleep drugs or camomile tea, do youhave any suggestions?

Absolutely right, Daniel. It took some getting used to, but I can't sleep without my CPAP machine now. My girlfriend complains about the noise the machine makes, but she admits it's a lot better than the snoring I used to do. She says it saved our relationship.

The marketing department will probably be losing sleep over whether to call the device "iSnore" or "uSnore"

As for what happens if your partner snores, the device (or devices) should have a second microphone on the other side of the bed. The computer could then use the signal delay to calculate who is snoring.

A recent study showed that many so called insomniacs actually get lots of sleep but dream that they're lying awake in bed. ;-)

So now you can have a snoring partner, or a pillow that sounds like the Terminator after the blazing truck incident.

Almost as bad as waking up to the sound of an electric toothbrush in the middle of the night... wait a minute i don't have one of those.

excuse me i need to go make a phone call.

I can just imagine what a pleasure it will be to have a Vista machine noisily putting away under the bed in order to control my Snorillow.

Not to mention the surprise beeping at 3 in the morning when the PC does a self-reboot because the control app - or Vista itself - knackered the OS enough for it to crash.

In any case, given that my wife has permanently forbidden all computer equipment from our bedroom, this is not likely to have a chance in my house.

Oh, I see, that's your funny word for 'boffin'.