ElReg40™: Get ready for Guttergroove

You define the future

Let's get real, people. Web 2.0's not just about cats. There's issues in the world it can help with...

Cuddlespace.com: Are you in the terror business? Are you in the counter terror business? Let's do business together - 24/7/365!

We're the networked provider of all terror-related solutions; whether your lifestyle is left or right, believer, infidel or just plain Dawkins; in a cave or in the Pentagon; we'll help you work with your opposition to make sure the terror just keeps running.

Want to overthrow the West, but don't know how? Click here. We have extensive contacts in the Home Office, FBI and CBeebies ready to dream up individualised terror scenarios - everything from death cats to extraterrestrial invasion.

Want to make the world a safer place for your shareholders? We can help. Our social network stretches from Central America to Central Asia by way of Northern Ireland. Whatever the time, whatever the budget; we'll find a threat that only you can stop!

Castor beans to full-blown nuclear megadeath scenario; aerial lasers to deathbots - think Cuddlespace.com - we're in it together.

- Mike Richards

Kibosh: Utilising the latest in cutting-edge high voltage gadget technology, Kibosh allows the rich virtual community to share their innovative lifestyle ideas and vote for the most popular, resulting in peer-generated long-distance democratic elimination based on group social standing (and who is sleeping with whose boyfriend). Consider it MySpace meets Sing-Sing.

- Rob

Second Life Utopia Minus 2.0 (aka SLUM): SLUM 2.0 imagineers your Second Life experience into a stream of bandwidth efficient 3G mobile phone content in real time. Be in world and in world at the same time. Social networking in 2(.0) worlds at once!

- Richard Gilham

We'll put money on it that someone is doing tis right now, Richard. Quick, to the PowerBook, and get your code out first!

ParaVisuo: A truly organic web event that harnesses people’s choices to procedurally generate content and provide social driven visual answers to questions in a content rich fashion.

A search portal that cross references the most popular search terms with Youtube videos, biases them by their user ratings and displays brief, continuous, clips on the portal home page that can be dynamically rated by its users. The dynamic ratings will then be used to extract the most popular parts of each video and store them by category, this database of video extracts/categories will be used to combine clips/extracts to create a single video tied to your original search terms that reflects the internet’s socio-visual answer to your original question. This isn’t Web 2.0, it’s Web 2.02

- Dan Corwin

Defenestrator - A Web-based multi-hardware-platform operating system. Any internet-capable machine could conceivably perform a network boot to it.

- Sean Quilty

OzzMorphus - that same fun-crazed company who brought you "What Number am I thinking of? 3.0" and "DRMauh" are electrified to announce the next social networking phenomenon to hit the web by storm ... coming in 2008!

!PhukMee!Now! allows community members to easily and stealthily place and remove DLL and other system files among their network of 'My Homies'. Hilarity ensues as friends and family engage each other with surprise 'SneakPeak' file placements and leverage our patented 'SyncSwap' technologies to 'wipe, swipe and snipe' each other using our upgraded 'RaMmee'(C) architecture.

- Alan J Volkert

Squirrelian: A rich AJAX-powered platform for empowering on-the-street field bloggers to collaborate in real-time with stationed content sculptors in order to deliver engaging web experiences. Finally we can connect people who like to watch squirrels, people who study squirrel demographics, and people who want to be able to kill squirrels from the comfort of their own home via the webcam-enabled Squirrelinator pellet gun. It's Google Maps meets train spotting meets hunting!

- Byron Galbraith

Squirrelian at long last will solve the problem of invasive grey squirrels out-competing native red squirrels. Thank you, Byron.

PoodleDoo.com: Think a mash-up of Google Maps, Nextbus.com, and the K9 Almanac -- PoodleDoo is a one-stop-shop for plotting your pet's next crap. Simply plug in your address, pet demographics, date, and time of day and PoodleDoo will plot the most likely course to speed your canine's next dump and MMS the route to your Windows Mobile 6 enabled cell-phone. Leveraging a vast social network of pet owners, PoodleDoo overlays season, time, breed, and previously recommended crap routes (TM) to power a whole new paradigm for dump site identification.

- Ken Pulverman

Smegnation: Peel back the skin of wiki and remove unwanted meme. Ajax powered widgets eliminate social contamination risks in a Flash - targeting crowd-sourced peers and moving away from the folksonomy and monetistic paradigms of Web 1.0.

- Jesse Melton

We've just done a sick in our mouth, Jesse. That's totally emergent, congratulations!

The Register 2.0: A collaborative enviroment provoking intelligent thought through the powerful medium of IT news (and a small comments section). With this new social utility we aim inspire present and future citizens of our social environment, or as we like to call it, the sociovironment.

- Ben O'Connor

Points for creepiness, but lose points for peddling lies: IT news has no power.

As a memetype substrate congeals in hypernet, geopolitical force now initiates via real-time emotional interaction through video and the bandwidth of the bandwagon. The paradigm creation of intertwining RSS newsfeeds and social network loopback into multi-channel AI interpretation breaches the chasm between activism and opinion polling. Our product is Zig Ziglar meets Walter Winchell meets Zogby -- and everybody's dancing to our music. You say you want a revolution...Mesantonata!

- Phat Shantz

You're straying dangerously close to patented amanfromMars territory there, Phat (if, indeed, that is your real name...).

MyPain.com: Simply peer generated diagnosis and emergent treatments to produce medicine 3.0 ( after leaches and science). We allow users to hook up based on their symptoms allowing user-generated wiki style medical knowledge based on the wisdom of the masses. Natural communities will emerge around similar sets of symptoms changing the paradigm of health from top down to a dynamic empowered society.

- Gavin Jamie

Terrifyingly, we think that already exists as a real business several times over.

Mouse 2.0, the USB UPS. Reduce the carbon footprint of your total web presence by harnessing the power that drives men to spend countless hours* surfing for photos of Indonesian women in platform shoes sucking lemons.

- Rod Stewart

Sponsored: Minds Mastering Machines - Call for papers now open

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