ElReg40™: Get ready for Guttergroove
You define the future
Competition results We've been astonished in the last week by the respone to our call for Reg readers' web 2.0 ideas. The amount of creativity you launched in our general direction has been touching.
So here we present the internet's most exciting start-up conference. Forty (give or take) new paradigms to blow your mind. We'll begin with the merely profane:
MyWaste: A place for people to put all their shit, and talk shit about each others shit.
- Timothy Slade
Sounds great Timothy, but we reckon you need to tweak the pitch....
Pareality(beta): Web 2.0? User generated content? So. Last. Year. With pareality you can BE the content, as every moment of your life, waking or sleeping, is streamed live into our organic database and mashed up by heuristic neural meme analysis and other parealitians into a live feed mix that connects the realities of parealitians everywhere - directly through their touch sensitive iPhones. It's almost as if you were really living. It. Really living it.
- Timothy Slade
That's more like it.
SkyStormer: A cross-platform, dynamically scaling, user-generated flash sausage feed, mixing elements of gadgets, widgets, biscuits and Vanilla Ice, bringing dignity and digivity to the bebo-powered live journal folksonomy.
Description: Twitspace has developed a cutting-edge Ajax solution allowing users to synergise their online profiles with the latest microblogging services. This major innovation will drastically increase "bloguctivity" and has been pegged as "the next Google" by industry observers.
- Richard West
Fellas, they're both excellent. Do you need first round capital? We've got 50p left over from lunch.
Nono: ultimate privacy through peer lifestyle anonimization! Nono will create automatically a sufficient amount of personalized accounts and content on all available Web 2.0 services and create autonomous interaction between them using our recently patent-pending Artificial Communication Hive Ether (ACHE ™). You can have a deep interconnected existence no-one knows about, not even you. Future code pushes might include an fully Ajax driven dashboard can lets you witness the life you never took the trouble creating. Watch other people and companies browse, index, link and refer to your profiles, galleries and blogs and enjoy Total Anomity in the Process with Zero Real Participation!
Frederick Nietzsche has a start-up! Who knew?
Uranus-Hertz: You know those Eureka moments when you've found the perfect microwave setting for pop-tarts, or the correct blender speed for pineapple & cornflake smoothies, and you wish you could instantly post them to your very own blog? Well now you can, with 'Uranus-Hertz' – it plugs straight into your electrical appliance and at the push of a button, wirelessly transmits the settings to your PC and thence to your blog. Now you can easily share the correct ironing temperature for all your glam going-out gear!
- Darren M Winter
Sorry... can't tell you about it. It's that good. But we are offering you the privilege of investing.
- Simon Szykman
The Reg Vulture Capital guys will be on the horn ASAP, Simon.
VrTransIP& (N.B. pronounced VerTranZipAnd): Using state of the art voice recognition over IP and a database of over 5 million colloquialism's and dialect quirks, utilising VrTransIP&'s state of the art auto refining algorithms that refractor suggestions into prime and sub prime semiautonomous results allowing users instant 'Full media' inter county translations (UK and Northern Island only), VrTransIP& creates a seamless multi user, multi spatial, market driven environments for modern 'Technosavey' company development and sales.
- Chris Jones
We think you're going B2B, Chris, and we like it.
You:Ranus: Leveraging the radicalising power of synergistic and edgy concepts into a melange of neo-cultural hygienic endeavour, You:Ranus strives to challenge the existing paradigm of lavatorial cellulose-based cylindrical object-provision and replace it with a totally new and exciting zeitgeist of soft and fluffy tissue. Think W.C Boggs staggering drunkenly into YouTube in a dark alley and getting beaten up by Wikipedia on steroids: you're not just going for a number 2 anymore, this is Bogroll 2.0.
- Gareth Dart
Sponsored: The Nuts and Bolts of Ransomware in 2016