Feeds

ElReg40™: Get ready for Guttergroove

You define the future

Remote control for virtualized desktops

Competition results We've been astonished in the last week by the respone to our call for Reg readers' web 2.0 ideas. The amount of creativity you launched in our general direction has been touching.

So here we present the internet's most exciting start-up conference. Forty (give or take) new paradigms to blow your mind. We'll begin with the merely profane:


MyWaste: A place for people to put all their shit, and talk shit about each others shit.

- Timothy Slade

Sounds great Timothy, but we reckon you need to tweak the pitch....


Pareality(beta): Web 2.0? User generated content? So. Last. Year. With pareality you can BE the content, as every moment of your life, waking or sleeping, is streamed live into our organic database and mashed up by heuristic neural meme analysis and other parealitians into a live feed mix that connects the realities of parealitians everywhere - directly through their touch sensitive iPhones. It's almost as if you were really living. It. Really living it.

- Timothy Slade

That's more like it.


SkyStormer: A cross-platform, dynamically scaling, user-generated flash sausage feed, mixing elements of gadgets, widgets, biscuits and Vanilla Ice, bringing dignity and digivity to the bebo-powered live journal folksonomy.

- Scar


Description: Twitspace has developed a cutting-edge Ajax solution allowing users to synergise their online profiles with the latest microblogging services. This major innovation will drastically increase "bloguctivity" and has been pegged as "the next Google" by industry observers.

- Richard West

Fellas, they're both excellent. Do you need first round capital? We've got 50p left over from lunch.


Nono: ultimate privacy through peer lifestyle anonimization! Nono will create automatically a sufficient amount of personalized accounts and content on all available Web 2.0 services and create autonomous interaction between them using our recently patent-pending Artificial Communication Hive Ether (ACHE ™). You can have a deep interconnected existence no-one knows about, not even you. Future code pushes might include an fully Ajax driven dashboard can lets you witness the life you never took the trouble creating. Watch other people and companies browse, index, link and refer to your profiles, galleries and blogs and enjoy Total Anomity in the Process with Zero Real Participation!

- Deeb

Frederick Nietzsche has a start-up! Who knew?


Uranus-Hertz: You know those Eureka moments when you've found the perfect microwave setting for pop-tarts, or the correct blender speed for pineapple & cornflake smoothies, and you wish you could instantly post them to your very own blog? Well now you can, with 'Uranus-Hertz' – it plugs straight into your electrical appliance and at the push of a button, wirelessly transmits the settings to your PC and thence to your blog. Now you can easily share the correct ironing temperature for all your glam going-out gear!

- Darren M Winter


Sorry... can't tell you about it. It's that good. But we are offering you the privilege of investing.

- Simon Szykman

The Reg Vulture Capital guys will be on the horn ASAP, Simon.


VrTransIP& (N.B. pronounced VerTranZipAnd): Using state of the art voice recognition over IP and a database of over 5 million colloquialism's and dialect quirks, utilising VrTransIP&'s state of the art auto refining algorithms that refractor suggestions into prime and sub prime semiautonomous results allowing users instant 'Full media' inter county translations (UK and Northern Island only), VrTransIP& creates a seamless multi user, multi spatial, market driven environments for modern 'Technosavey' company development and sales.

- Chris Jones

We think you're going B2B, Chris, and we like it.


You:Ranus: Leveraging the radicalising power of synergistic and edgy concepts into a melange of neo-cultural hygienic endeavour, You:Ranus strives to challenge the existing paradigm of lavatorial cellulose-based cylindrical object-provision and replace it with a totally new and exciting zeitgeist of soft and fluffy tissue. Think W.C Boggs staggering drunkenly into YouTube in a dark alley and getting beaten up by Wikipedia on steroids: you're not just going for a number 2 anymore, this is Bogroll 2.0.

- Gareth Dart

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

More from The Register

next story
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM
First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT
Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
Bible THUMP: Good Book beats Darwin to most influential tome title
Folio Society crowns fittest of surviving volumes
U wot? Silicon Roundabout set to become Silicon U-BEND
Crap-spouting London upstarts to get permanent road closure
prev story

Whitepapers

Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
How to determine if cloud backup is right for your servers
Two key factors, technical feasibility and TCO economics, that backup and IT operations managers should consider when assessing cloud backup.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Security and trust: The backbone of doing business over the internet
Explores the current state of website security and the contributions Symantec is making to help organizations protect critical data and build trust with customers.