Feeds

ElReg40™: Get ready for Guttergroove

You define the future

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

Competition results We've been astonished in the last week by the respone to our call for Reg readers' web 2.0 ideas. The amount of creativity you launched in our general direction has been touching.

So here we present the internet's most exciting start-up conference. Forty (give or take) new paradigms to blow your mind. We'll begin with the merely profane:


MyWaste: A place for people to put all their shit, and talk shit about each others shit.

- Timothy Slade

Sounds great Timothy, but we reckon you need to tweak the pitch....


Pareality(beta): Web 2.0? User generated content? So. Last. Year. With pareality you can BE the content, as every moment of your life, waking or sleeping, is streamed live into our organic database and mashed up by heuristic neural meme analysis and other parealitians into a live feed mix that connects the realities of parealitians everywhere - directly through their touch sensitive iPhones. It's almost as if you were really living. It. Really living it.

- Timothy Slade

That's more like it.


SkyStormer: A cross-platform, dynamically scaling, user-generated flash sausage feed, mixing elements of gadgets, widgets, biscuits and Vanilla Ice, bringing dignity and digivity to the bebo-powered live journal folksonomy.

- Scar


Description: Twitspace has developed a cutting-edge Ajax solution allowing users to synergise their online profiles with the latest microblogging services. This major innovation will drastically increase "bloguctivity" and has been pegged as "the next Google" by industry observers.

- Richard West

Fellas, they're both excellent. Do you need first round capital? We've got 50p left over from lunch.


Nono: ultimate privacy through peer lifestyle anonimization! Nono will create automatically a sufficient amount of personalized accounts and content on all available Web 2.0 services and create autonomous interaction between them using our recently patent-pending Artificial Communication Hive Ether (ACHE ™). You can have a deep interconnected existence no-one knows about, not even you. Future code pushes might include an fully Ajax driven dashboard can lets you witness the life you never took the trouble creating. Watch other people and companies browse, index, link and refer to your profiles, galleries and blogs and enjoy Total Anomity in the Process with Zero Real Participation!

- Deeb

Frederick Nietzsche has a start-up! Who knew?


Uranus-Hertz: You know those Eureka moments when you've found the perfect microwave setting for pop-tarts, or the correct blender speed for pineapple & cornflake smoothies, and you wish you could instantly post them to your very own blog? Well now you can, with 'Uranus-Hertz' – it plugs straight into your electrical appliance and at the push of a button, wirelessly transmits the settings to your PC and thence to your blog. Now you can easily share the correct ironing temperature for all your glam going-out gear!

- Darren M Winter


Sorry... can't tell you about it. It's that good. But we are offering you the privilege of investing.

- Simon Szykman

The Reg Vulture Capital guys will be on the horn ASAP, Simon.


VrTransIP& (N.B. pronounced VerTranZipAnd): Using state of the art voice recognition over IP and a database of over 5 million colloquialism's and dialect quirks, utilising VrTransIP&'s state of the art auto refining algorithms that refractor suggestions into prime and sub prime semiautonomous results allowing users instant 'Full media' inter county translations (UK and Northern Island only), VrTransIP& creates a seamless multi user, multi spatial, market driven environments for modern 'Technosavey' company development and sales.

- Chris Jones

We think you're going B2B, Chris, and we like it.


You:Ranus: Leveraging the radicalising power of synergistic and edgy concepts into a melange of neo-cultural hygienic endeavour, You:Ranus strives to challenge the existing paradigm of lavatorial cellulose-based cylindrical object-provision and replace it with a totally new and exciting zeitgeist of soft and fluffy tissue. Think W.C Boggs staggering drunkenly into YouTube in a dark alley and getting beaten up by Wikipedia on steroids: you're not just going for a number 2 anymore, this is Bogroll 2.0.

- Gareth Dart

Security for virtualized datacentres

More from The Register

next story
Boffins who stare at goats: I do believe they’re SHRINKING
Alpine chamois being squashed by global warming
Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future
We feel obliged to point out the headline statement is total, utter cobblers
Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy
'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
FedEx helps deliver THOUSANDS of spam messages DIRECT to its Blighty customers
Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on
The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event
Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)
Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants
Baaaaaa! Fanny's Farm's woolly flock is high, maaaaaan
Adorkable overshare of words like photobomb in this year's dictionaries
And hipsters are finally defined as self-loathing. Sort of
Not a loyal follower of @BritishMonarchy? You missed The QUEEN*'s first Tweet
Her Maj opens 'Information Age' at the Science Museum
prev story

Whitepapers

Choosing cloud Backup services
Demystify how you can address your data protection needs in your small- to medium-sized business and select the best online backup service to meet your needs.
Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Storage capacity and performance optimization at Mizuno USA
Mizuno USA turn to Tegile storage technology to solve both their SAN and backup issues.