Feeds

Hugo Chavez rails against teen Bulgarian airbags

Breast implants join list of Yankee imperialist outrages

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

Hugo Chavez has slammed Venezuelans' growing penchant for celebrating their daughters' coming-of-age by stumping up for breast implants, Reuters reports.

The prez's countrymen/women have apparently developed quite a taste for western-style consumerism, and in particular coughing thousands of dollars for Bulgarian airbags which they flaunt with unashamed pride as twin examples of their affluence.

What's particularly offended Chavez, however, is that Venezuelans come of age at 15, which means thousands of señoritas queuing up to go under the knife before they've even grown out of their Barbies.

Chavez thundered on his weekly TV show: "Now some people think, 'My daughter's turning 15, let's give her breast enlargements.' That's horrible. It's the ultimate degeneration."

And speaking of Barbie, Chavez also had a pop at "Western-imposed consumerist icons such as Barbie dolls".

Chavez hopes that Venezuelans will repent their spendthrift ways and has "told his supporters to give away any extra goods they do not need, urging them to leave out in town squares items such as fans or refrigerators".

Some hope, we reckon, although we think we may have found a solution to the implant outrage. Were Chavez - who recently announced the country would shift its time zone by half an hour, apparently just to piss off the US - simply to declare that all Venezuelan females become 18 on their 15th birthday, he might find the whole thing less morally repugnant. ®

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

More from The Register

next story
Facebook's Zuckerberg in EBOLA VIRUS FIGHT: Billionaire battles bug
US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention contacted as site supremo coughs up
Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future
We feel obliged to point out the headline statement is total, utter cobblers
Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)
Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy
'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
Swiss wildlife park serves up furry residents to visitors
'It's ecological' says spokesman, now how would you like your Bambi done?
The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event
Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants
Baaaaaa! Fanny's Farm's woolly flock is high, maaaaaan
FedEx helps deliver THOUSANDS of spam messages DIRECT to its Blighty customers
Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on
Red Bull does NOT give you wings, $13.5m lawsuit says so
Website letting consumers claim $10 cash back crashes after stampede
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
Win a year’s supply of chocolate
There is no techie angle to this competition so we're not going to pretend there is, but everyone loves chocolate so who cares.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Intelligent flash storage arrays
Tegile Intelligent Storage Arrays with IntelliFlash helps IT boost storage utilization and effciency while delivering unmatched storage savings and performance.