Feeds

Hugo Chavez rails against teen Bulgarian airbags

Breast implants join list of Yankee imperialist outrages

The Power of One Brief: Top reasons to choose HP BladeSystem

Hugo Chavez has slammed Venezuelans' growing penchant for celebrating their daughters' coming-of-age by stumping up for breast implants, Reuters reports.

The prez's countrymen/women have apparently developed quite a taste for western-style consumerism, and in particular coughing thousands of dollars for Bulgarian airbags which they flaunt with unashamed pride as twin examples of their affluence.

What's particularly offended Chavez, however, is that Venezuelans come of age at 15, which means thousands of señoritas queuing up to go under the knife before they've even grown out of their Barbies.

Chavez thundered on his weekly TV show: "Now some people think, 'My daughter's turning 15, let's give her breast enlargements.' That's horrible. It's the ultimate degeneration."

And speaking of Barbie, Chavez also had a pop at "Western-imposed consumerist icons such as Barbie dolls".

Chavez hopes that Venezuelans will repent their spendthrift ways and has "told his supporters to give away any extra goods they do not need, urging them to leave out in town squares items such as fans or refrigerators".

Some hope, we reckon, although we think we may have found a solution to the implant outrage. Were Chavez - who recently announced the country would shift its time zone by half an hour, apparently just to piss off the US - simply to declare that all Venezuelan females become 18 on their 15th birthday, he might find the whole thing less morally repugnant. ®

Seven Steps to Software Security

More from The Register

next story
NSA man: 'Tell me about your Turkish connections'
Spooks ask Dabbsy to suggest a nice hotel with pool
Carlos: Slim your working week to just three days of toil
'Midas World' vision suggests you retire later, watch more tellie and buy more stuff
Motorist 'thought car had caught fire' as Adele track came on stereo
'FIRE' caption on dashboard prompts dunderheaded hard shoulder halt
Yahoo! Japan! launches! service! for! the! dead!
If you're reading this email, I am no longer alive
Plucky Rockall podule man back on (proper) dry land
Bold, barmy Brit adventurer Nick Hancock escapes North Atlantic islet
Russia sends SEX-CRAZED GECKOS to SPAAAAACE!
In space... no one can hear you're green...
OKCupid: 'The myth of compatibility is as good as the truth'
User experiments show lonely hearts are shallow ones
prev story

Whitepapers

Designing a Defense for Mobile Applications
Learn about the various considerations for defending mobile applications - from the application architecture itself to the myriad testing technologies.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Top 8 considerations to enable and simplify mobility
In this whitepaper learn how to successfully add mobile capabilities simply and cost effectively.
Seven Steps to Software Security
Seven practical steps you can begin to take today to secure your applications and prevent the damages a successful cyber-attack can cause.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.