Feeds

Vanessa Hudgens net smut: your children are at risk

Can no one stem the tide of filth?

Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction

Pity if you will poor old Vanessa Hudgens, star of Disney's High School Musical, who recently got some unwanted exposure when a snap of her striking a birthday-suit strumpet pose for the titillation of squeeze Zac Efron spilled onto the internet, with predictable results.

The offending photo, far too explicit for a family publication such as this, reportedly nearly cost the girl her job. Happily, Disney had an attack of good sense and decided she would not have to walk the plank for strutting her stuff in what was, after all, a private image.

That should have been an end to it, but Hudgens now has to explain just how further photographs of her engaging in a further series of outrages - including mock lesbian-kissing her chums, giving the camera the finger, and pulling up her skirt to reveal her underwear - came to entertain the unwashed cybermasses.

The poses in question, which The Register has seen but considers far too tame for an adult publication such as this, are hardly in Paris Hilton's league. We'd suggest that if the material did indeed show Ms Hudgens orally pleasuring Efron while Lindsay Lohan rakes out lines of Bolivian marching powder between Tara Reid's substantial Bulgarian airbags, the media might have some justification for its enthusiastic interest in the matter.

In conclusion, El Reg is imposing a site-wide Vanessa Hudgens embargo until such time as she indulges in some proper internet pornography, attacks her assistant with a PDA, or is jailed for drunk-driving. Thank you. ®

3 Big data security analytics techniques

More from The Register

next story
Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN
Reg reader snaps shot of touching tribute to Apple icon
Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL
Bank: 'We are now safely patched.' Customers: 'You were using OpenSSL?'
Happy 40th Playmobil: Reg looks back at small, rude world of our favourite tiny toys
Little men straddle LOHAN, attend tiny G20 Summit... ah, sweet memories...
Spanish village called 'Kill the Jews' mulls rebranding exercise
Not exactly attractive to the Israeli tourist demographic
Lego is the TOOL OF SATAN, thunders Polish priest
New minifigs like Monster Fighters are turning kids to the dark side
Dark SITH LORD 'Darth Vader' joins battle to rule, er, Ukraine
Only I can 'make an empire out of a republic' intones presidential candidate
Chinese company counters pollution by importing fresh air
Citizens line up for bags of that sweet, sweet mountain air
Google asks April Fools: Want a job? Be our 'Pokemon Master'
Mountain View is prankin' like it's 1999...
prev story

Whitepapers

Designing a defence for mobile apps
In this whitepaper learn the various considerations for defending mobile applications; from the mobile application architecture itself to the myriad testing technologies needed to properly assess mobile applications risk.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.
Five 3D headsets to be won!
We were so impressed by the Durovis Dive headset we’ve asked the company to give some away to Reg readers.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Securing web applications made simple and scalable
In this whitepaper learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.