Feeds

Vanessa Hudgens net smut: your children are at risk

Can no one stem the tide of filth?

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Pity if you will poor old Vanessa Hudgens, star of Disney's High School Musical, who recently got some unwanted exposure when a snap of her striking a birthday-suit strumpet pose for the titillation of squeeze Zac Efron spilled onto the internet, with predictable results.

The offending photo, far too explicit for a family publication such as this, reportedly nearly cost the girl her job. Happily, Disney had an attack of good sense and decided she would not have to walk the plank for strutting her stuff in what was, after all, a private image.

That should have been an end to it, but Hudgens now has to explain just how further photographs of her engaging in a further series of outrages - including mock lesbian-kissing her chums, giving the camera the finger, and pulling up her skirt to reveal her underwear - came to entertain the unwashed cybermasses.

The poses in question, which The Register has seen but considers far too tame for an adult publication such as this, are hardly in Paris Hilton's league. We'd suggest that if the material did indeed show Ms Hudgens orally pleasuring Efron while Lindsay Lohan rakes out lines of Bolivian marching powder between Tara Reid's substantial Bulgarian airbags, the media might have some justification for its enthusiastic interest in the matter.

In conclusion, El Reg is imposing a site-wide Vanessa Hudgens embargo until such time as she indulges in some proper internet pornography, attacks her assistant with a PDA, or is jailed for drunk-driving. Thank you. ®

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

More from The Register

next story
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
Bible THUMP: Good Book beats Darwin to most influential tome title
Folio Society crowns fittest of surviving volumes
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
U wot? Silicon Roundabout set to become Silicon U-BEND
Crap-spouting London upstarts to get permanent road closure
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT
Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned
Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM
First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT
prev story

Whitepapers

Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
Getting started with customer-focused identity management
Learn why identity is a fundamental requirement to digital growth, and how without it there is no way to identify and engage customers in a meaningful way.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Reducing the cost and complexity of web vulnerability management
How using vulnerability assessments to identify exploitable weaknesses and take corrective action can reduce the risk of hackers finding your site and attacking it.
Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile
Data demand and the rise of virtualization is challenging IT teams to deliver storage performance, scalability and capacity that can keep up, while maximizing efficiency.