Feeds

ElReg40™ seeks the world's worst web 2.0 ideas

How hard can you blow?

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Competition Readers who live on planet Earth may have failed to notice it but the white hot, bleeding edge, ground zero of web 2.0 imagineering this week was the TechCrunch40 conference in San Francisco.

Thankfully for us, The Guardian had its finger on the pulse, and had the editorial imagination to publish 8,000 words about the best and most exciting tech start-up ideas being demonstrated by a camarilla of massive-brained visionaries. At time of writing, the 17 blog entries carry 17 comments (μ = 1).

It's journalism 2.0 in action. There's a disintermediating Twitter feed too (most recent entry: "Sometimes you have those moments that make you think it really isn't worth it").

So, in the spirit of web 2.0, we've decided to copy the TechCrunch40 idea...only change it a teensy little bit. We want to know the worst web 2.0 business you can possibly imagine.

To be considered for ElReg40™, your young company will need a daft name and a short description that sums up how it's going to change the universe. If two or three sentences can't explain the deep awesomeness of your plan, then it won't generate the child-like wonderment we're looking for.

As an example, here's a real pitch from something called Kaltura, which apparently won the People's Choice award at TechCrunch40:

We have developed a revolutionary concept in peer production and online rich media. Think of it as YouTube meets Wikipedia...the result equals: online group video making - Kaltura.

Ain't she special? We can smell IPO.

To get you started, here are some words you might want to throw in the mixer: Ajax, rich, peer, flash, social, powered, meme, gadget, widget, wiki, wikiwidget, Facebook, Faceblook, content, lifestyle, media, group, paradigm, monetise, targeted, engagement, user-generated, folksonomy, mobile, 2.0, 3.0, 3.141, crowd-sourcing, MC Hammer, digitivity, mash, feed, sausage, beans. And if you're struggling with a name, try this.

It's just so easy.

Lambee: a virtual meme-powered flash engagement mash. Think VMWare meets Yahoo! Answers on acid.

Nonsense clearly, but we're sure you can do better than us. Go wild and send your entries here. We'll post the best worst 40 (or we might halve it to 20, or double it to 80 if we feel like it) in a glitzy extravaganza of HTML-formatted text-based publishing next week.

The winner of this prestigious contest gets our one-off "Jemima Kiss of Death" statuette, hand-carved by blind craftsmen in the Google data mines from 100 per cent stardust (it's what web 2.0 is made of, people), a $50,000 dollar sub-prime mortgage in seed funding, and a pair of concrete boots for when it goes titsup. Oh, and a Reg goodie bag.

Happy paradigm shifting. The only limit, apart from the three sentences thing, is how far you dare to dream. ®

Disclaimer: All your start-up idea are belong to us.

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

More from The Register

next story
Swiss wildlife park serves up furry residents to visitors
'It's ecological' says spokesman, now how would you like your Bambi done?
Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)
Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
Facebook's Zuckerberg in EBOLA VIRUS FIGHT: Billionaire battles bug
US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention contacted as site supremo coughs up
Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
ePassport to Transnistria: NEXTIFYING the Nation State with BONG
Hey the Man, you can't geoblock distributed democracy
Red Bull does NOT give you wings, $13.5m lawsuit says so
Website letting consumers claim $10 cash back crashes after stampede
Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy
'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Trolls have DARK TETRAD of personality defects, say trickcyclists
Think psychopathy and BDSM dungeons, not desktops
The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event
Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Win a year’s supply of chocolate
There is no techie angle to this competition so we're not going to pretend there is, but everyone loves chocolate so who cares.
Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Saudi Petroleum chooses Tegile storage solution
A storage solution that addresses company growth and performance for business-critical applications of caseware archive and search along with other key operational systems.